❤️ 😚 Help Me Out F•ck the Neighbours 😚 ❤️ (F4M) (Best Friends to Lovers) (Fake Moan to Real Giggles) (We Could Just Have Real S*x?)

Transcript

Thank you for coming. Please bear witness. I told you.

All night, every night, inconsiderate bastards. Oh, we get it, you're young and in love and having lots of sex. Shut up! Or at least do it quietly, for God's sake! Some of us are single! I've tried! I've knocked on the door, I sent them a note, I got in touch with the landlord, nothing.

Not a bit quieter, no less regular, nothing. It's like they're doing it on purpose. Is it that ridiculous, or are they just mocking me and going, Ha ha! Lonely old lady next door, listen to this! It's like some kind of evil mantra being pushed into my ears.

An FYI and exaggerated and over-the-top mantra, nobody moans like that! You overcompensating whore! In fact, why am I blaming you? He's probably not doing a good enough job, sorry.

But still, you're both inconsiderate! No, I can't just do that, I can't run to your place every time they're having sex. Because then we live together.

I'm sorry, I just don't know what to do anymore, I can't take it! How is it possible? How are they still having sex? Hour after hour, pounding away.

It's like they possess. I've tried, I've tried playing music, I've tried playing horror films on full blast, it's made no difference. In fact, I swear to god they moan louder.

But my resorts are just screaming. Yes, I get it, you're in love and nubile and having lots of orgasms, stop it! You're messing with my sleep pattern and it's very selfish.

Oh god, look at me, obsessed with someone else's sex life. And not even in a pervy way, just in a sleep-deprived insane way. Even better! Oh, what am I doing? Why did I phone you? Why are you over here? I know that was rhetorical, you're just trying to be a nice friend and I really appreciate it.

Oh, I just need to sleep, I need some kind of powerful wave just to make me go hand down. I can't have an orgasm while that's going on. Believe me, I've tried.

I even remembered to charge my vibrator and I tried and it just felt sad. Irritating and depressing and it just wanted to stop. Hmm? What do you mean I need to be the bigger fucker? Oh god, why didn't I think of that? Oh my god, I feel so stupid.

Yes, I need to rage, I need to moan, I need to outfuck them. You're right, help me. If we push the bed up against the wall, that's good and then we can bounce and create movement and scream.

Well, some people scream. I don't care if it sounds fake, I just want them to stop. Oh, good point.

If our music and horror films didn't stop, then why would fake fucking? So what you're saying is we need to make them feel like their sex is inadequate? I'm not very good at sex.

This is gonna be a challenge. Uh, please consult all of my ex-boyfriends. You know, it never was a priority and they could never find my clit and it just always felt like, okay, that was fine.

I'm sorry, I'm just being honest about what we're working with. I know you never liked them, it's fine. It was fine, they weren't abusive, just not very sexually compatible.

Mind you, I probably wouldn't be sexually compatible with anyone, so again, consult my ex-boyfriends. Uh, to quote Harry, it was like sleeping with a corpse. Although one does wonder why he had that as a point of reference.

Never mind, let's just simulate sex so the people next door will show up. You ready? Okay.

What? That's how people have sex, isn't it? You know, like, over the top and blah and ugh.

I don't know, we're not really having sex so it's hard to, like, get in the groove. Although I've done much boning when I had sex, to be honest, but you know, in theory. It's fine, I don't really prioritize sex very much.

I don't know, I can have an orgasm by myself, but I never managed it with another person. I guess it was, like, the pressure, you know, like, you must cum now and it's like, ah, that's not how my body works. And also, men are so eager to please and I feel so bad and they're looking at you like, please tell me I did a good job, please tell me I did a good job, and it's like, oh yes, yes you did.

I don't want them to feel bad. Who are you saying I did the wrong thing? Oh, I never thought about it that way.

So they'll have moved on to their other girlfriends and the girlfriends will be having bad sex because of me. Oh, I feel bad now. Well, that's another thing to top off your sleep deprivation.

You're also responsible for a lack of orgasms. Great. Feeling so good about myself right now while the neighbors are bringing down the roof.

Yes, I want them to stop. Okay, I'll try. It's just, I'm not very good at actual sex.

I'm not supposed to simulate it. Okay. Yes.

Yes, I will do what you say. Okay. All right.

I'm laying down. Now what? You said not to moan.

Okay, not like that. How then? That's what I was doing.

You know, like, ooh, ah, ah. Rude. Well, maybe I sound like I'm in pain when I'm on the brink of pleasure.

No. I don't really make a lot of noise, to be honest. It's kind of breathy and wispy.

But then it is quite hard to hear over the buzz of the vibrator, so. Okay, I'm listening. Copy you.

Okay, go on. Show me what it's like to moan. Yeah, you did, you little dog.

Being all sultry and, whew, ah. No, I like it. It's a side of you I've never seen.

I know. I know you came here to help. I can't help it when you're being so cute.

Oh, God. They're just going to think we're wrestling. Okay, okay, I'll try.

It's just so stupid. Oh, I guess nobody moans like that. I'm not going to be able to convince them.

I don't want to moan like a blonde star. I just want to go to sleep or do something that knocks me out entirely. Either one.

Oh, well, thank you. I've been perfecting the disheveled look. Are you flirting with me? You being all, you're so pretty when you laugh.

Even with bags under my eyes and horrible old t-shirts masquerading as pajamas. Oh, you've got some quirky taste, don't you? Do you moan a lot when you have sex? Well, I was honest with you.

Oh, tell me. No, you can't do that. Don't be a tease.

Oh, that's your specialty, is it? You whore. Can't you tell me? Tell me.

Oh, pretty, pretty, please. I'm sleep deprived and you have to tell me things because I'm desperate. Yes, you do.

Those are the rules. Tell me. Cause I'm needy as fuck and they're still fucking inconsiderate, selfish, horny, devious, degenerates.

Oh, sometimes. Sometimes you moan, hmm? When's that? Oh, when you feel you have to be.

So I'm not the only one who's had mediocre heterosexual sex. Vindication. So does that mean you're quiet when you're.

.. See, told you. You're actually having a good time.

You're just having a good time. It's almost like the sex speaks for itself. Are you sleeping over or are you going home? No, I totally understand if you don't want to stay here with Mr.

and Mrs. Fuckadoo, so thank you for validating my complaint and for being honest about. ..