Gold Digging Date

Transcript

Hi. Yeah, it's nice to meet you too. So what's your name again? Oh, right.

Um, well. Did you want to talk or something? I'm listening.

Yes, I'm aware that I'm texting, but I can multitask. I'm listening. Well, I can like hear you.

I just have to check my Instagram. I just posted a picture, so I want to see how many likes I get. Yeah, I've gotten a lot.

You know, I think it's kind of rude of you that you haven't complimented me at all. I mean, I'm getting all these messages and DMs from people who think I'm really hot and think I look so good because, I mean, look at me. I do, right? Well, but then I've been here for like five minutes and you haven't said anything.

Like, do you even know how hard eyeliner is to do? Well, I don't either, but I have a makeup artist. Like I said, I've been paying attention.

You just haven't said anything. Well, whatever. Well, maybe you should say it again then.

No. Well, I know I'm pretty, but I like to hear a lot from everybody. So.

.. Yeah, I know. Thanks.

So I guess we have to ask each other questions or something, right? That's usually how this goes. Well, um, my name's Stephanie, of course.

I like the color pink. I love Starbucks. Like, I have to have my venti mocha frappe, soy milk, vanilla bean every day or else I flip.

And today, I had this new girl trying to take my order and she was just. .. She was just a mess.

It was hilarious when I told her manager how horrible she was. Um. ..

Oh, I love to have a good time. I love cameras. I love being in front of cameras.

I love the beach. I wish it was summer all year long. And I think that's it.

Well, that's all it says on my bio anyway, so. .. That's basically me.

What's your Instagram? You should go follow me. You don't have one? Oh my god.

How do you. .. What do you do? How do you live? Oh my god, do you even have any friends? Like, who are you if you're not on the internet? You like to experience things? I don't follow.

Well, I mean, if you can't document it, did it really even happen? Okay, well, you sound like a weirdo, but I mean, I've dated weirdos before. So.

.. Okay, tell me about yourself then. I'll just have to take your word for it.

Oh, I like hiking too. Yeah. Usually like.

.. Like paved roads and like. ..

Like nice cut grass. Like, I don't like going on dirt or anything like that because I always like. ..

I always like to coordinate myself with my shoes, so. .. I don't want to get them dirty or anything.

Yeah, I've never heard of that. You volunteer? That's nice, I guess.

That's cool. I like to give back too. I always donate my clothes and my old jewelry back.

You know, so someone else can have last season's clothes. It's quite funny. Last time I saw my friend and she was wearing my old Gucci shoes.

And I was like, hey, nice shoes. And she was like, thanks, I just got these on sale. And I was laughing so hard because I was like, those are my shoes.

I know because of the brand. I told all her friends about it and she's been crying for days. And she's just been like, she's just like super weird.

Yeah. Okay, so like, do you have a job? How do you make money? Do you make a lot of it? Well, I'm just trying to ask questions.

Isn't this what we're supposed to be doing? Okay, then how much do you make in a year? In a year? Wow.

Um, I think, I think I should be going soon. Oh, you got me something? Oh yeah, I could stay for a bit.

No, no, no, it's nothing. What did you get me? Oh my God, you got me jewelry.

Oh no, it's just in a really nice fancy box. Chocolate. I mean, yeah, yeah, for sure.

It's our first date. I'm sure that would be the only date. You know, I thought, usually when a.

.. Yeah, it's our first date and all and I get that. But usually when a boy, usually when a boy gives me a box, it's.

.. Well, you know, I just expect jewelry already. It's what I'm used to.

Wow. Thank you. Um, you know, I know you don't really know me or anything, but next time you can just, you can just like buy me earrings or like a nice necklace or something.

Um, I don't really eat carbs. It's not good for you and I'm all about being healthy. Thanks, I guess.

So, um, you seem like a really nice. .. Oh yeah, I do a lot of these.

Um, usually like hookups. I mean, I'm not really into that dating scene. Um, I've been trying it out, but I don't know.

Usually the people I meet are just so weird and like different. You know what I mean? Like I just have such high expectations and I just, you know, you know, I just, if I'm going to settle down, like I just need to know that I'm always going to be weighted on hand and foot.

So, and for the most part, guys are usually cool with that, but their wives aren't. So I don't like really getting into that whole mess of things. Oh, wait, are you married? Wait, I don't want to know.

I don't want to know. Nevermind. It doesn't matter.

I don't know why I'm even asking that. I just, just make sure, um, you don't get me involved. Okay.

I'm sure I'm not going to be in your life anytime soon, but you know, just for future references. So, so did you just want to like sit here and talk or did you like want to like go somewhere and like, maybe you buy me like some dinner and like a movie? No, I didn't bring my wallet.

I, you, I don't ever really have to. I mean, I have like my PayPal account if I need to like to order an Uber back home, but that usually happens in the morning. So, um, I mean, I'm not a freeloader.

I don't just mooch off of people. I repay very generously, but just not in advance. So I need to see what you're good for.

If you get my drift. Look, you're really sweet and you're honestly not that bad looking. I wouldn't mind hooking up with you, but from what I've learned, that's not enough.

And I just have to be well taken care of. I'm a very delicate flower who needs to be spoiled all the time. I think you might have some potential.

Maybe nothing long term, but if you keep buying me gifts every time we meet up, then I might keep your number. But if not, then what are we really doing here? I'm a really nice girl.

I'm so easygoing and loving. Oh yeah.