Free Preview! - Experiments Work Better With Your Best Friend

Transcript

Okay, that's fair. Yes, I am very sexually open-minded, and I was a scientist myself until I decided not to be anymore. Yeah, I.

.. So what do you want me to do? Use the machine? Oh my god, you want me to use the machine.

Do you not have a control on the equipment? Did you not set a control before you started? Okay, then what's the problem? This just keeps getting better and better.

You're worried that overuse might have changed how the machine works? Oh my god, okay. So, look, I know we used to, you know, screw around a lot in college and we've done some shit with too much tequila, but are you really asking me to get on that thing and let you watch?

And what happens if I say no? What happens if I say no? How are you going to test it? Are you going to get on it yourself? Well, it's for men and women, right? Mm-hmm.

Okay, all right. I will admit I'm intrigued by the study. What is this? So the lead researcher made a note here and says they don't seem to have enough stamina to give any real data, none of them lasting longer than 10 minutes under the kind of stimulation the machine provides.

What the hell have you got on that thing? Okay, they're just regular sex toys. So did you just pick participants that aren't particularly experienced with that kind of thing? Oh, I see.

Okay. Yes, I'm aware we were roommates in college and I'm aware that you heard some things, so you know what I'm capable of. I don't know if I'm a little creeped out about that.

Okay, that's fair. I did tell you about it. So, ah, you are really pushing this best friend thing.

All right, what do you need me to do? I'm intrigued. So, shit, I haven't gotten laid in a while and kind of bored with the toys I have at home, so why not?

Yes, really, but you better hurry up and get me on that thing before I change my mind. What do you need me to do? Okay, where are you going to be? Are you going to be in there? You're going to be in the control room.

Okay, fair. So, you're going to turn on the machines. Oh, I'm going to turn on the machines.

There's a remote. Fair. Okay.

Do I have to follow some pattern or. .. All right.

So, what's the goal here? To last as long as I can. Well, it's a good thing I don't have plans tonight.

Well, it's a good thing I don't have plans tonight. Yeah. All right.

Yeah, I mean, sure. Dude, I haven't been with anybody in a while and, like I said, stuff at home is pretty boring. I will say that that thing on there is very sizable.

And it actually, you know, does that. Really? Weird.

Not weird, but I've never seen one that does that. Mm-hmm. Okay, well, let's do it, I guess.

Do I take my clothes off? Do I go. ..

What do I do? All right, go over there and take my clothes off. Okay.

Okay. Sure. This is surreal, to say the least.

Okay. All right. There we go.

I'm naked. Now what? Sit in the chair.

Okay. All right. I am in the chair.

Okay. Oh, those are cute. Oh, they just go on my nipples.

Interesting. In the stirrups. Okay.

All right. Feet in the stirrups. Why do I feel like I'm at the gynecologist? Spread wider.

Oh, okay. Wider. Sure.

You can literally see everything now. Mm-hmm. Cool.

All right. Suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable? No, it's fine.

Now what?