Fleshlight Unboxing Erotic Ramble

Transcript

Alright guys, so I'm going to do something a little different. You know, one of the fun things about being an erotic author is you get to send stuff for free to review and to test and stuff like that. So I received this package last week and I decided that I was going to do an unboxing.

Just for the crack, to see how we get on and you know, to test it out for science of course. So bear with me while I. ..

Careful not to cut my fingers off. Okay, so that's that. And what we've got here is a flashlight and it's a pussy sleeve.

And it really, oh my god, it really looks like a pussy in a flashlight. It looks a little strange, I'm not going to lie, it feels a little strange as well. And I have the, the next one I have is the butt one and I'm so lucky I get two.

That looks, it looks like a butt. They look, they do look silly but like, I mean, they look interesting but silly at the same time. So I also, I also have some, looks like it's a flesh lube but it's a heating lubricant, warm lubricant.

So because it does, I did read that they're cold and I know, don't blame me, don't blame me and you need to warm them up. So I'm just going to take this, there's something inside it here, it's like, something to stabilise it. And I'm going to put it back in and yeah, oh my god, this is going to be interesting, this is going to be very interesting.

So I'm going to get it ready somehow, I'm going to warm it up, I'm going to clean it and I'm going to use it for science and no other purpose and maybe, you know, for a review as well and have some fun so, oh my god, what am I doing? Yeah, let's see what happens. So I'll be back in a few seconds, okay, don't go anywhere or I'll switch off, what to do? Oh god, oh my god, I won't be long.

Alright lads, I'm back and I'm going to start with the pussy flesh light and I have some flesh lube here, warming lube as it's called and I put some on the lips of it and I'm just spreading it around and it feels really kind of fleshy, I suppose that's the way to call it, a flesh light and I'm putting my finger in and I think this could fool a penis but then again, I think anything can fool a penis, it's not like penis is a high IQ, is it penises or peni? Yeah, this feels interesting, it really does. Okay, so here we go, just for science of course, oh my god, the things I do.

I love my job, you know that? I think dirty thoughts, I'm kind of looking at it and thinking I don't know whether to get turned on or just start breaking down laughing at it. This is going to be an interesting experience to say the least.

So I'm going to tease my cock around, yeah, just rubbing my cock head against the lips of it. I have to close my eyes, I just have to, if we're away in any way. Yeah, it's making my cock hard, well I don't know whether it is or my mind is because my mind is fairly good at that too, you know.

I've got a really dirty mind, some of you might know. Okay. Yeah.

Just slipping my cock head in slightly. Yeah. Oh, it's stretching down around there.

It feels like it's not going to fit, it's either the flashlight is too tight or I'm too big, I think we'll go with the latter. Whoa. Okay.

Now, as I said, this is my first time using a sex toy, I never have and it's, it's, it's unusual. It is, I think, like, I think, oh, whoa. Yeah.

The lips are stretching down around it, but it's, it seems to be like, it seems to be Oh, yeah. Yeah. The lips are stretching down around it, but it seems to be small but too tight away.

I might have to stretch it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's taking an hour.

Yes. And my cock is wet. Can you hear it? Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck. Nice and slowly. Yeah.

It's coming like a quarter weight on my cock. You know when it gets really thick? Like the girty part of it.

Oh, wow. Girty? Is that a word? Oh, yeah.

Okay. Okay. I'm starting to see the merits.

Oh, because like inside it, it's like. .. It's like ribbed and it's like really.

.. Yeah. I'm just stretching it out a little more.

Oh, fuck. Oh, it'd be really, really nice if you could do this for me. That would be really sexy.

Oh, I'd love to look in your eyes while you're using this. Oh, fuck. Yeah.

Tease me until I get the real thing. The real thing is always much better. Oh, fuck.

Much better. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.

Oh, it's making my cock so fucking hard. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You know, when I push it down, when I push it. .. I can see my cock stretching out.

Stretch that little hole right out. It's like, you know, if I was fucking you. Yeah.

I can see my cock slipping in and out of it. Slipping in and out of your hot, white little pussy. You know what's sexy about it as well as the clit of it? It goes right against.

.. Right against the base of my cock. Yeah, I'm going to get it all the way down, but it's.

.. To get it down is. ..

Oh, yeah. Fuck. Oh, I wish this was your pussy.

I swear, I wish it was. I could just fuck it like this. Oh.

Yeah. It's actually insane. It's actually really good.

It looks strange, but it feels amazing. You've never got rough clothes on your eyes? It's just like you were bouncing on my fucking cock.

Is it making you horny? Is it? Why don't you play along with me? Have you got a toy? Yeah.

Okay. Alright. Fuck.

Oh. You know. ..

When you pull it out and come all the way down around it again. Fuck. I love that.

You know when I fucking. .. It's one of my favourite things to do is just.

.. Put my whole cock deep inside and hold it there. And then put my arms around you and squeeze in.

Oh, yeah. You know that really sexy feeling when the whole cock is deep inside you? Huh? And your pussy's gripping it.

Oh, it's trapping against my dick. My dick is trapping your pussy. Fuck.

Yeah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Oh, my God.

I hope you're playing along with me. This is fucking amazing. Yeah.

Oh, as I said, I wish it was you. That's a real fucking thing. Yeah.

Just like that. Listen. Bouncing on it.

Huh? Been fucking it rough. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.

My cock is swollen. Mm. Oh.

Oh. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Fuck. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Okay.

Um. Ah. It's time to try the other one.

The butt. Ah. Oh.

Mm. Okay. Mm.

Take some lube and put it on. Now that looks a lot smaller. It looks like really tiny and my cock is really big at the moment and I'm like, oh okay.

What am I in for here? Oh. Ah.

Oh fuck no. No, no, no. Oh my god.

Now that is tight. It's really fucking tight. It's, ah.

Oh, it's a lot tighter. It's not as like, ah. Not as, ah.

Oh. Yeah, you have to like, ah. You have to really kind of stretch the fucking thing.

Yeah. Mm. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Slip down. Ah. Oh.

Oh that's sexy. You can rub, ah, your cock head against it and just, oh. Ah.

That's a tight fucking ass. Oh my god. Ah.

You know when your fucking like this it's nice to be nice and gentle and sexy with it because it's like, ah. It's just, ah. Oh.

I'm trying to work it right down around my dick and it's, ah. Ah. Ooh.

Oh, fucking makes it so hard. Ooh. Mm.

And again when I push it down you can see the real, like, ah, it's just such a stretch in there. It's sexy because, ah. You can see how, ah.

Ha. Ha. How that big cock takes it over.

Ooh. Are you thinking about it? Sliding it around.

Nice and slowly and sexy. Sensual. Gentle.

Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah. Oh.

Mm, mm. Oh. Ah.

This one is actually taking my dirty talk away because it's so tight it's like, yeah. Ah. Ah.

Still can't get it down. Mm, that cock is just teasing that little asshole. Fuck.

Yeah, nearly, nearly, nearly, nearly, nearly. Ah, ah, ah. No, no, no, no, no.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Sliding it.

Oh, that's it. Oh, my God. All the way down.

Nice and fucking slow. Nice and fucking gently. Mm.

Oh, slipping in and out. Oh. Up and down and out.

Can you hear it? Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ah, ah. Fucking, fucking good. Ah, nice and easy.

Nice and sensual. Nice and slowly. Just stretching it and making it mine.

Mm. Ah. Oh, I love to make it mine.

Mm, again, I'd love you to be playing with this with me. Mm, ah. Oh, I can stay fucking in bed all day long, yeah.

Ah. Fucking sucking my cock. Yeah, it's just like, oh, it's really sucking my dick.

Ah, ah. Oh. You know, I'm going to be really bad.

And I'm going to use both of them. Yeah, together. Mm.

They're toys, so it's okay. Oh. And I'm not going to, I'm just going to, you know, switch them without using my hands.

See, can I do it? And it's going to be tough. Mm, the pussy's going to be a bit easier.

And I just told them one, like, it's the, and it's the, oh, oh, fuck. Ah, that's the pussy back. Fuck.

Oh, my God. That pussy's good. Oh.

Ah. Ah.