Final Negotiations - Who's the Boss, Episode Five

Transcript

Ugh, hurry up and get in here, this friggin' rain is terrible! Ugh, I'm soaked, oh my god. Did we not check the weather before we decided to do this? Like, fuck.

Ugh, okay. Well, that was poorly thought out. Fuck.

Ugh. Mm, are you good? Yeah, you're just as wet as I am.

Good, that worked out well. Whose brilliant idea was it for us to still be doing this camping thing once a year? Why is that a thing? Oh, right.

Disconnect, get away from the world. Whose idea was that? And who said we needed that? Yeah, I know it was not a great time at the office.

We're not gonna talk about that. No, I didn't get the promotion. I didn't get the promotion, but the role that they offered me is actually better.

We're not talking- why are we talking about this? I don't want to talk about- that's why we're here, we're in the middle of frickin' nowhere in a goddamn tent in the fuckin' monsoon rain, and you want to talk about that, which is exactly what we came here to not talk about. So can we just figure out the clothing situation, because I'm cold, and I'm wet, and it's not comfortable.

So, um, and I'm a little worried that this thing is not gonna hold up to this rain. It's a fucking tent. Okay, it's a really nice tent, I don't- okay, I- you're the outdoorsy guy, I guess, I'll trust you if you say we're safe, we're good, it's not leaking anyway, we'll roll with that, I suppose.

So now what? We were gonna do food around the campfire, so that's not a thing anymore, because, rain. So what do we do? Do we wait it out? Is it gonna pass? Like, it doesn't usually rain this hard up here, does it? I don't remember ever coming up here and having rain like this before.

And we've been coming here, what, two- yeah, we're not gonna talk about how many years, it's depressing. Um, but has- have we ever had rain like this? I don't think so.

No. No. No.

Okay, yeah, yeah, that was bad. But that was the year you tried to bring that silly little girlfriend of yours, and I was kind of glad we got rained out, because she was horrible. Yeah, I know, you were dumb.

You were like, 18, and stupid, so it's fine. Okay, so we got rained out once. We didn't have a tent like this, though, but we still had those really crappy tents.

So we don't have to leave, right? Like we're okay, we're safe, right? Because I really don't want to be, you know, drowned up here.

Okay, good. Um, so, uh, food? Do we have food that doesn't require a campfire? Okay, good.

And all the wood is wet now, am I right? Oh. Okay.

Why is there wood in the trunk of the car? What do you mean you thought it might rain? If you thought it might rain, why did we even come out here? You know what? I'm not even asking.

Good, there's firewood in the trunk of the car, apparently, that is not soaking wet. So when this stops, we will be able to cook. Good.

Hopefully it stops soon. It can't rain this hard for much longer, right? Like, that's not a thing.

Okay, um, so what do we do? Do we just, like, there's no cell reception up here, so we can't look at our phones. Um, why are you looking at me like that? Oh, you can't be serious.

You are getting super kinky. Ever since that fucking parking lot and then the fucking shower? Like, the bridal shower? Yeah, I know we've had sex in the shower, but you know what I mean? Public? And now you want to do it in a fucking tent? What is wrong with you? Do I look comfortable enough to have sex? Come on.

Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, we'll put a pin in that idea for a second, because I'm literally soaked and gross.

And not soaked in a fun way, either, before you go there. Um, I'm just going to take this vest thing off. Oh, relax.

I'm not, I'm, seriously, I'm not. Stop. It's soaked.

You've seen my bra before. You're being weird. Stop it.

Okay. There. Okay, at least I'm not drippy anymore.

Don't even. Stop. This no technology thing is going to my head and I'm actually finding you funny.

Um, okay. That's better. I think it was the top part of me that got the bulk of it.

Jeans don't seem to be too worse for wear. Um, yeah, I think I have a, I think I have a shirt here somewhere. Okay, here.

Put this on. Okay. There.

That's better. Alright. Good.

Okay, I'm slightly more comfortable now. My hair's still wet, but I can deal with that. Are you going to change? Okay, you're just going to take off your shirt.

That's. .. Okay.

Okay, that's good. That's fine. So, um, we're in a tent and we have nothing to do.

Because we always plan outdoor activities for this. I don't know why we never plan for rain or, you know, anything that keeps us in the tent. But, sure.

What? Um, where did that come from? What? Don't call me a captive audience.

Jesus Christ, that sounds horrible. Um, well, no, I can't leave. Um, but I also really don't want to have this conversation.

Why would you bring this up now? Okay, yeah, I know. I've been avoiding.

A few things. Wasn't really prepared to talk about them now. But, apparently I don't have a choice.

Okay, um, yeah. We can talk about what happened in my office and in the parking lot, I guess. If you want to.

Yeah, I know. You told me that already. And I told you I can't deal with that.

I told you I can't handle you telling me that you love me. I'm just not ready. That's why when you did what you did in the parking lot, when you turned it from just fucking me up against a wall to cradling me and caressing me and holding me and making it so much more than just.

.. When you did that, it was jarring and scary. Um, because I wasn't ready for that in any way.

And. .. Yeah, I ran.

I did. And then we decided to go back to normal, right? We decided not to let that be a thing, didn't we? I thought we dealt with this.

Okay, we dealt with it by deciding not to deal with it, sure. But we were good again. We've had a few weeks now of just great sex and no weirdness.

And now you're making it weird again. Why do we have to talk about this? Yeah, I'm getting uncomfortable because I don't.

.. I was not jealous. Wait, no, you can't keep going back to that.

You can't keep bringing up that I was jealous the night of that event. What do you mean you know? What do you know? Right now all you know is we're sitting in a fucking tent and I can't get away from this conversation and I'm grossly uncomfortable.

That's all you need to know right now. You know me. Okay.

Well, I would fucking hope so after this many years. Um. ..

Uh, you know how I feel. Well, I'm glad somebody fucking does, because. ..

You know that that's what I do. I make jokes and I deflect and I'm uncomfortable and I don't like this. So that's what I'm going to do right now.

Okay. Alright. Enough.

You know how I feel. That's what you were saying. Yeah, you do.

Um, okay. What does that mean? Well, uh, just put it out there, why don't you? I can't.

I can't say that. I can't. I can't.

You know how badly it goes for me every time those words come into play. Every time I say that to somebody, then everything goes to shit. I can't.

I can't. Every time I say that to somebody, then everything goes to shit. And that person just becomes a fucking nightmare, or I do.

And it all goes wrong. And I can't do that with you. You are too important to fuck up like that.

So I can't. I can't. Yeah, there's a possibility it'll be different because it's you.

There's also a big possibility that I am that much of a fuck up, that I could fuck up even this. So, I don't know how to do relationships, you know that. I know how to do work, and I know how to do being in charge, and I know how to do all of that.

I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to do feelings. I don't know how to do this.

Because it never works for me. Well, you've seen me crash and burn when I have. You've been there to pick up the pieces.

So, you know my history here. So, I don't think I have to explain a whole lot why I'm as hesitant as I am. What do you mean you don't care? Okay.

Yes, that's true. You've been dealing with my crazy for a long time. Perfectly put, by the way.

Yeah. I do think that you know how to handle me. Suddenly I became somebody that needs handling, but okay.

I'm high maintenance as fuck, dude. You know that. I'm demanding, and I'm loud, and I want my own way all the time, and I'm crazy.

Like, come on. I'm a hot mess, honestly. Well, that was well done.

I'm your hot mess. Wasn't expecting that. Yes, I'm grinning.

I'm grinning. Shut up. I'm grinning.

Oh, God. Well, if you already know, then you shouldn't be surprised that I'm grinning. Right? Isn't that what you said? You already knew? Okay.

Yeah, if anybody knows how to handle my crazy, it's you. Yeah. And I think it might be.

.. I think it might be time to let you. ..

I think it might be time to let my guard down a little bit. That is what I'm saying. I'm saying that.

.. I love you, too. I've probably loved you for as long as you've loved me.

I'm just too stubborn and pig-headed and ridiculous to admit it. And here we are. In a fucking tent in a monsoon.

It's wonderful. Yeah, I mean it. See, this is why we get along.

That was a very uncomfortable moment, and you just completely defused it by making a terrible joke. What do you mean you weren't joking? Wait, I thought we already put aside the sex thing, because.

.. Oh, you think because of the conversation we just had that sex is the natural next step. Got it.

Okay. Yeah, I think you're right. Why don't we.

.. Why don't we get a little more comfortable in the sleeping bags and see what we can do. There's so much stuff in here.

What? Did you just tell me what to do? Um, that's not how.

.. Oh, okay. You're.

.. You're putting your finger on my lips. Um, what is this? This is not.

.. Um. ..

Um. .. You know I don't do that.

I don't give up control. Uh. ..

You're asking me to? Okay. Okay.

Yes. Yes. I'll do what you say.

Um, you want me flat on my back? Okay. Alright, alright.

Here we go. Uh, there. Is this what you wanted? Okay.

Hands above my head. Good. That's a little tight.

Wow. When did you become so assertive? Right.

One of us has to be. Okay. You have me flat on my back.

You have my hands pinned above my head. You have me at your mercy. What are you gonna do? Um.

.. Okay. Well, I'm a little indisposed, so if you want my pants off.

.. I don't know. You're gonna have to figure it out.

Um. .. Oh.

Both wrists in one hand. I'm impressed. Okay.

That's my jeans. Do you want me to wiggle out of these? Is that what you want? Okay.

Okay. Yes. Yes.

I understand. Only partway. That's.

.. Yes. I feel your.

.. your hand. On my pussy.

Okay. You're stroking me. I can't.

.. I can't move my legs. Or my hands.

I can't. .. I can't move.

Oh god, that's intense. You're. ..

you're stroking my. .. Good.

Fuck. Fuck. Oh god.

I can't. .. I can't move.

Why? Yeah, it is more intense. Okay.

Yes, I trust you. Okay. Absorb it.

Okay. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Oh fuck, that feels good. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes, it's your pussy. Yes.

Yes. Oh. Please.

Please. Please. You want me to beg? I'll beg.

Please.