❤️‍🩹 🫂 Fatherless Behaviour 🫂 ❤️‍🩹 (F4A) (It’s Fathers Day, But Your Dad Sucks) (Snuggles with Long Time Girlfriend) (She's Sick, But She's Cute)

Transcript

Hello. I told you I wasn't lying. You think I made this majesty up? Hello? Oh, I see.

You were wondering if I was faking. Hello and come hither, but do not kiss me or you will get the plague. Nobody wants that.

Oh, my darling. How are you? Oh, I'm all right.

I'm just milking it as always. Oh, you know me. I can't resist a bit of good pity.

Oh, shit. I totally forgot. Oh, God.

Um. .. Are you okay? Hey.

Listen, I know I sound like Marge Simpson right now, but you don't have to be brave for me, okay? Homie? Father's taken me a slap in the face, hasn't he? Would you like a hug in these trying times? Oh, maybe my face away from you is fine.

Oh, my sweet. You're not being silly. Don't be stupid.

No, if I didn't have a dad or my dad was shitty, I'd be sad, too. No. You know what? I don't care if you're not seven.

You're you. And it's okay to say, hey, I deserved a nice dad. Because you do.

Of course you do. Are you gonna talk nonsense all night? You deserved a dad who made you feel safe and loved and supported.

And I'm really sorry that you didn't get that. I'm even more sorry that I'm comforting you with a Marge Simpson voice, but needs must. Sweetheart.

I know. I know. No.

No, no, no, no. I thought we were past this. You.

You. Wonderful sunshine rainbow you. Yes, it's slightly anxious and depressed, but, you know, like half sun without rain.

Listen to me. Listen. You are so lovable.

You are so holdable and you are so squeezable and you are so lovely. You are absolutely lovely. Well, you're not cringing every time I talk for one.

No, you are. So lovely. And if he didn't stick around and treat you poorly, then that's on him.

Has absolutely nothing to do with you. I promise you. Although I think somewhere in your logical mind you already know that.

Because deep down you're not a silly Billy, you're a wise William. Oh, you can have as many snugs as you like. We're recoining the term fatherless behavior.

Instead of meaning that you're promiscuous or sad, it just means you're in dire need of hugs. Fatherless behavior, right here. So I totally resent fatherless behavior as an insult.

It's like, yes, I didn't have a father. It was crap. Why are you being mean to me about it? So instead, I'm recoining it.

And you, you are exhibiting fatherless behavior. You are sad. You need a hug.

So you're gonna get one, and you're gonna feel as loved and as smushy and as cute as you are. Because I say so, and I have the voice of a dying medieval peasant, so you're gonna listen to me, okay? There is authority and cholera behind this voice.

My baby. You will listen to me. Because you need to, because you're lovely.

And you smell really nice. And you have really, really pretty eyes. Well, I do normally, not when they're streaming with tears, and I've got one snotty nostril and one blocked nostril, and then these chapped lips.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm always beautiful. You are a big fat liar, but you're very kind, so I'll let it slide.

I can feel the fatherless behavior radiating off you. You need more snugs. You need them tighter.

You need them with more love. You need more I've-got-you vibes. No, no, this medieval peasant is happy to supply.

Oh, God, he's going now. Oh, gosh. You are lovely.

Mm-hmm. So lovely. And I'm really sorry if that forehead kiss gives you the plague.

That was not my intention. I would be through a nose, but I'm really struggling. I am going to have to be a mouth breather from now on.

Or at least until the second nostril opens up. I love you, too. Your dad, wherever he is, whatever he's doing, he's missing out.

Big time. And even if he came back, he can't have you. I've got you in reserve.

I'm sorry I'm gross. I love you very much.