Fake It 'Till You Make It

Transcript

Well, are you happy? We're now on a 15 minute break after how many takes were ruined because now we have no chemistry. You know what? If we don't get our shit together, one of us is going to be replaced.

And at this point, I don't even hazard a guess as to who. So we need to figure this shit out. I have never had to do that many takes on a scene, never in my entire career.

Okay, look, we've both had sex before, not with each other, but in general, right? It shouldn't be this complicated. It's a sex scene in a movie.

It's supposed to look sexy and sensual and real and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. We're professionals. We can do this.

Okay, why is this one especially difficult? You've done sex scenes before. I've seen some of your previous work, so don't give me that.

Okay, well, that goes both ways. You don't want me touching you any more than I want you touching me. So we're supposed to get over that.

Yeah, haven't you ever worked with somebody you don't like before? Again, professionals, hi. Well, it does go both ways.

Are you blaming me now? Of course you are. Because anytime anything goes wrong, it's my fault.

That's kind of how this entire production has been for you. Oh, yeah, it was my fault because I didn't hit my mark, which I did, by the way. And because I didn't feed you lines properly.

My cue lines were perfect. Watch the dailies. So you can't throw me under the bus for this.

No, no. Okay, we can't do this. Okay, we can't argue right now.

This is not the time nor the place to have a knockdown, drag out fight. I know it's an empty set right now, but that doesn't mean people aren't going to come back. And that doesn't mean it's not going to throw off our energy for the scene that we're going to be filming when they do come back, okay?

These characters are intensely in love. They're like disgusting, actually. If I met these people in real life, I'd leave the room, okay? So we have to get there instead of yelling at each other.

Yeah, fun, right? I love my job. Okay, we need to figure this out.

There's no chemistry. So in the scene, you're supposed to push me against the wall. Lift my skirt and look like we're doing the deed until the final hurrah, right? Yeah.

So far, it's just been clumsy. I know, it's been awkward. I know it feels that way, so I can only imagine how it looks.

No wonder everybody's pissed. It's not like I'm heavy, because I'm kind of not. I pride myself on that, thanks.

Good, good. Glad we agree on that. Okay, we need to go through this, like, step by step, without people watching, and figure out how we're going to play this, because we can't fuck this up anymore, honestly.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah, well, there's nobody here.

Everybody else went on break, and yep. So let's get it done, okay? All right, let's start at the top of the scene, okay? We may as well use the set and move around.

So you go to your mark, I'll go to mine, okay? Okay. All right, you good? Yeah, I'm fine.

There's a lot riding on this, so please do your best, okay? I don't want to be fired, and neither do you. Okay.

All right, I guess, action? I know. I know you're surprised to see me here.

Yeah. Well, the last time we saw each other wasn't exactly fun for either of us, was it? I wasn't going to show up.

If I'm honest, I wasn't. I was going to avoid you, but I needed to be here. I needed to see you.

Mm-hmm, you have? Well, that makes me feel a little bit better that you've been thinking about me, too. I hate fighting with you so much.

Yeah, I've missed you, too. And no matter what we are to each other, even though we haven't really figured it out yet, I really don't like not talking to you. It doesn't feel right.

It feels wrong. It feels like something's just missing. What? Good, keep going.

No. You can put your hands on me. That's what you're supposed to do.

I know. Um, stop for a sec. Okay, so, yeah, this is that part.

It's okay if you want to do it in rehearsal. We have to do it in the scene anyway. And the way you're positioned, nobody sees anything.

It's just kind of you and me, right? No, I didn't put the pasties on. They annoy me and they irritate my skin.

So I'm good with it. If you're good with it, then we're just natural. Okay? Is that good? Okay.

Yeah, well, I always ask because even though I'm okay with it, my scene partner might not be. So, you know, we hadn't gotten that far yet. Okay, all right.

Let's take it from the kiss, okay? Yeah. Okay, now.

Yeah, you're just supposed to pull it down and then look like you're groping me while you just cover my breast from the camera. But go ahead. Put your hand on me for real, okay? That's better.

Yes. Intensity, good. Yeah, that's okay.

Just keep kneading my breast like that. Okay, hold on. Okay, they gave you the most difficult belt known to man.

So I'm gonna have to do this from muscle memory. So I'm gonna go for your belt and your zipper just to figure it out, okay? I'll take that as an okay.

No, keep squeezing my breast, it's fine. Okay. There's the belt.

Where's the. .. Did they hide your zipper? Oh, there it is.

Okay. Okay, yeah, I think I can manage that. Okay, now.

Now, you're supposed to kiss my neck and stop and hold me against you while I put my hand in your pants. Are you wearing. ..

You're not either. Okay, well, I don't feel so bad for not wearing the pasties if you're not covered either. Are you good? We're okay? Because I'm gonna put my hand in your pants.

That's part of the scene. Okay, good. Okay, move down my neck.

Let me get in here and. .. Oh, that's nice.

Yeah, no, that's good. Angle your head a little bit so that they can see what you're doing. There you go.

Because the cameras are already set so you can tell. Okay. I don't know how to do this without touching you.

Okay, that's you. Hold on a sec. You're.

.. You're hard right now. Is that supposed to be happening? Do you want a minute or do you want to keep going? No, don't apologize.

It's okay. No one can see it in the shot and if it helps you give a better performance then whatever, do it. Here, let me.

.. Well, there's not a lot of room in here. I'm just gonna put my hand.

.. Is that okay? Okay.

There. Oh. Okay, the wall.

Yeah, like that. Good. I don't think you've been that rough in rehearsals.

Oh, it does help that my hand is on you. Like that, yes. I'm stroking you because I have to move my hand like I am so I may as well just do it.

Is that okay? Good. Mm-hmm.

I know. You're supposed to lift me. So I can wrap my legs around you.

Don't forget to move my skirt. Mm-hmm. Um.

.. I'm gonna pull you out here because this feels really uncomfortable for you. Okay, just hold still.

There. Is that good? Okay.

Um, okay. Yeah, lift me. What are you doing? You're holding me like.

.. What are you doing? Here, get my skirt out of the way.

Just get closer. Yeah, I know your cock is out. I pulled it out, remember? It's okay.

I know we're gonna have to touch each other so if you're uncomfortable with that, say something. But I'm not. Okay, good.

Good. Um, here, move the skirt like this. There, now everything's covered, right? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you are between my legs. I'm gonna angle so that you can hold me better against the wall. Oh, hi.

That's. .. Mm-hmm.

You against me and, well, my panties anyway. Figure out the movement of your hips, okay? It has to look like you're doing the thing.

So. .. Yeah, I think that's too subtle, though.

Oh, that's better, yeah. Yeah. What do you mean you should put your cock away? Okay.

I think you get what's happening here, just as much as I do. Yeah. Yeah.

Are you just as worked up as I am? Mm. Yeah? Okay.

Let's do something about it. Here, I'm gonna pull my panties to the side. And.

.. There you go. Mm.

That is my naked pussy. Yes, I'm sure. Okay, you know what? Mm-hmm.

This has been the best this scene has ever gone for us. So no more playing. No more rehearsing.

No more hating each other. What the fuck was that? Just put it in.

And fuck me. Mm-hmm. Okay, so if the crew comes back, it'll just look like we're rehearsing.

We've angled everything and put clothing everywhere, like we're supposed to in the shot. So. ..

God knows we need the rehearsal. Nobody's gonna interrupt us. And the characters get to have orgasms.

So why don't you work toward that end? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Yes, put it in me.

I feel you. I feel you. I feel you.

Your hip's holding me against the wall. Mm. Okay, move.

Make it look real. Mm. Give it to me like you would if this wasn't a scene.

If you actually wanted to fuck me. You do? Well, I thought you weren't interested.

Yeah, that's why I've kind of not been great to you either. That's probably why our chemistry has sucked, because we've been trying not to have any. Oh god, yes, deeper, deeper.

So that's out the window. Fuck, yes. No, I don't hook up with costars either, but well.

.. This is different. I don't know why, but it is.

Just keep going. I'm gonna go. It's a good thing we're allowed to have orgasms.

Yeah, keep going. Oh, shit, yes, yes, yes. Yes, that's what you feel.

It's okay. No, I've been on the fucking pill since I was, like, in high school, so go for it. I'm clean, are you? You haven't had sex in that long? Jesus.

Yeah, no wonder things weren't working anyway. Just. ..

Just come in me. Oh, yes. Oh, god, yes, I feel it.

Okay, put my legs down. Oh, shit. Don't turn around.

Um, it seems we have an audience. They came back. Okay, the whole crew just saw that.

Well, the director looks impressed. Yeah, he's nodding and, like, pointing at his clipboard. With the.

.. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, we got away with that.

Safe, it gets a rehearsal. Well, okay, so let's get put back together here. Um, but just before we do that, you know, maybe we should, uh, maybe we should go to my trailer and, uh, rehearse one more time before we start shooting again.

You know, just, just to make sure that we have it right.