[F4M] “I Miss You” - Voice Message from Your Ex-Girlfriend

Transcript

You have one unheard message. Hi there. I'm here to read you about your car's ex.

.. Who am I kidding? Okay, different opening.

How have you been? It's me, Alyssia. Though I'm sure you figured it out, it was me from that very horrible opening line.

You know, I don't know why I'm talking to you like you're on the phone right now. Who knows? Maybe you'll see this and delete the message, block the number, the whole shebang.

But on the off chance that you don't, I've been thinking about you lately. And I know it's normal, you know, to think about people, think about someone that used to be a really big part in your life, that used to mean a lot to you. Still means a lot to you.

But I saw this, okay, wait. I guess I should say I was going through some old things of mine that I'd had when I was looking for, I can't even tell you what I was looking for, to be honest. But I came across this picture of us from way back when, way back when, I mean, before we were even, you know, together.

But it was such a long time ago. And I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I think I remember it so well because that was the day that I knew I wanted to keep you around.

That was the day that I knew that all those feelings that I felt for you were very real and very much in front of me. And I don't know if you remember it. I don't know if you remember that day, but I do.

I remembered it all this time. It's kind of silly. I remember that it was pretty late at night.

We hadn't talked in days. And I mean, it was probably well over a week. You know, we were going through that really weird phase where we were so angsty and we didn't wanna speak to each other, so we didn't.

I was being stubborn, you were being stubborn. But like always, you were more stubborn than me because guess who came over? Me.

I remember walking over to your house and it was so cold because, you know, it was winter. I had bundled up, I had like on my hoodie, I had on a jacket, I had on sweatpants and leggings underneath, and I had on my boots. And yet still, it wasn't enough because I was freezing my butt off.

And the whole way there, I went over my plan. Okay, there was step one, sneak out, already accomplished. Step two, walk over to his house, en route.

Step three, well, okay, I'll explain, part three. Or step three, I should say. I pulled a rom-com move and threw pebbles up at your window.

I had to scour for the smallest ones. You know, I don't think I ever told you where I got found them. So yes, I wanted to get your attention, but I certainly couldn't afford a broken window, especially after I snuck out.

My family would have ripped me a new one for that. So you know those garden gnomes? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah, if you're listening to this, you're probably laughing because you knew how much those things creeped me out back then.

I mean, they still do, those things are so creepy. But I was a determined woman. Okay, so the pebbles in the garden were like so small and smooth.

And I remember when you showed me to it one day when I was over at your house, I remember thinking, oh, those are so small. And so I knew, I was like, okay, those are what I'm gonna use. And so I used them, and I thought to myself, okay, these definitely aren't going to crack the window because they're so small.

So I was going to convince you to come out and we would talk, and this whole really weird thing we were doing. But while I was romancing you, I remember thinking, okay, these pebbles are so small that he's not even gonna hear me. Okay, so I'm doing all this work, I'm being so romantic, and he's not even gonna notice.

And so then I ended up getting a little discouraged because, well, you didn't hear me. At least I didn't think you did. Because then I saw your shadow, and I saw you peek down, and it looks a little scared at first when you saw me, because you're like, is that who I think it is?

And in fact, it was who you thought it was because I waved up at you, and then you rolled your eyes. I remember thinking, okay, wow, such a jerk. But, you know, I'll be nice, okay, because I did come over to his house.

But it kind of made me, it kind of made me bite back a smile because, I don't know, there was something about finally seeing you after what felt like ages that made me so darn happy. And I knew that if you had showed up to my house in the middle of the night and were throwing pebbles at my window, I probably would have rolled my eyes too and done a little more because, well, it's kind of weird, but it was okay because I was doing it. And then I motioned for you to come down and join me.

But you just shook your head, and to be honest, it kind of pissed me off a little. I just wanted to talk to you, and you were being so stubborn, as always, and I was just, I was really upset. And so there is this little back and forth, a game of tug-of-war, you could say.

I would say, yes, Rapunzel, or, I don't know, Flynn Rider, I guess, let down your hair, and then you would say, absolutely not, go find some other hair to climb. Gosh, the places my mind goes. But back to the point, getting a little sidetracked here, eventually, after about a minute or so of me trying to convince you, and you vehemently denying me, you step back from the window and put your curtain closed.

And I was so upset. You know, I didn't get why you wouldn't talk to me. I didn't like us not speaking.

It always sucked, it felt like I was missing something important, you know? And I still don't, I still don't like us not speaking. But back to the story, it was cold, and I wasn't wearing enough layers, and it was getting later.

So I decided that I wouldn't spend my time trying to work you over, because, well, you didn't want to speak to me. So I just pulled up my bridges, my big girl pants, and I just turned tail, just walked away. So I barely reached that straight point, you know, the one that was always flickering, and was almost always not working properly.

Then I heard what sounded like a door opening and closing. And I got a little paranoid, because, hello, horror movies exist, and you know, I watch my fair share of those. But when I turned around, nothing was there, so, you know, I just went about my way, but started walking a little bit faster, because, well, if I was gonna get kidnapped, it wouldn't be that night that I snuck out to see you, who wouldn't even see me.

And then, that's when I heard it. Footsteps, your footsteps. I was a bit shocked when I turned to see you running after me, already looking more bonded up than I was.

But then, that's when I realized why it had taken you so long. You weren't ignoring me, you were getting ready to see me. And the idea that you would come out in the freezing cold in the middle of the night when I had come over unannounced left me completely speechless.

And you didn't know what to say either, it seemed, because all you did was grab my wrist and pull me after you. You know, I was starting to question where you were taking me, maybe to, I don't know, kill me or something, I have no idea. Like, my brain, you know, I was a little paranoid from, you know, the noises before.

But then I saw you taking me to the spot, our spot. I didn't even know when it became our spot, it just was. And I was surprised, but I was happy that you took me there.

It was this old, I don't know if you remember it. I hope you do, because it meant a lot to me. It meant a lot to us, I know.

But it was this old playground. You know, it had the worn up tar mats and it had the creaky swings, but it was our place. And so we walked over to the swing sets and you sat down and I sat down beside you and we just sat, we just sat.

And it was silent. You know, I could only really hear like the faintest, like crickets. I mean, that's totally what it felt like, crickets, because I wasn't speaking, you weren't speaking.

But it was nice. We hadn't spoken to each other in days and yet not speaking, but being near each other just felt so right. And so we just swayed and, you know, let the wind slightly push us on the swings.

And we just watched the night sky, the stars twinkling down. And then I saw your hand peek out a little bit and you were holding it out. And I didn't know what you were reaching for until I knew.

And, you know, it made me, my cheeks got really warm for a second because, you know, it wasn't from the weather because it was certainly cold, but I remember I got really flustered then. And I just handed my hand over, handed my hand over. That doesn't even make sense.

I just, I gave you my hand and you just held it. And we were still silent. And I remember that that was right.

You know, that silence, that complete silence, that just felt right. And so I just let you hold my hand and we just swayed. And then I got really warm all of a sudden and I didn't really know why until I realized that you'd given me a jacket, your jacket.

And I still have it actually. That was what I was looking for. I kind of lied before.

I could tell you and I just did tell you what I was looking for from before. You're looking for the jacket. And it reminded me.