Experiments Work Better With Your Best Friend

Transcript

Okay, I'm here, what… what the fuck is this place? Okay, when you said you needed help with a work project, I didn't expect I'd find myself in a laboratory with weird… what is that? Is that a sex toy chair? Alright, I think you have some explaining to do.

Mm-hmm. I mean, I'm down to help. I said I was, but what the hell? Okay.

You're really pushing this whole best friends-will-do-anything-for-each-other thing too far, aren't you? Ugh. Okay.

Alright, alright. Let me get this straight. Your job in this particular study is helping the doctor… What? Okay, okay, I think I got it.

You're the research assistant on this study, and you're trying to study sexual arousal in females? Okay, men too, okay, alright, equal opportunity, awesome. What does that have to do with me? And what are you studying? I mean, isn't arousal arousal? Okay.

That was a lot of words I didn't understand. Socioeconomic what? It's been a while since I've had to, you know, be smart, but you're trying to figure out if where a person was born, how they were raised, their background, culture, all of that affects how they experience arousal?

Is that what I'm understanding here? What could that possibly do for the world? Like, are there not more worthwhile studies to do? Fair, fair.

Treating dysfunctions, I get it, okay, alright, so what do you need from me? What's this? Well, you're handing me a tablet with information, what am I looking at? You forget, I chose not to be a scientist anymore, yeah, yeah, I walked away from it, so I don't really want to be a scientist.

Okay, alright, alright, I'll read the study. Okay, so you've had three female participants today, yesterday was male. She was able to achieve orgasm from nipple stimulation and penetration.

Oh wow, no clitoral stimulation, that was an abnormality in the findings so far. She was not able to achieve multiple orgasms like the two before her. Okay, the first one was only able to achieve orgasm from clitoral stimulation and they were continuous once she had one until she stopped the machine.

The second one needed penetration and clitoral stimulation and didn't like the nipple stimulation. She achieved her second orgasm when the fake penis. ..

You have a penis that ejaculates in this thing? Wow, funding, okay, is this privately funded? Yeah, I was going to say, the government wouldn't be putting money into something like this.

Okay, no one agreed to try the anal stimulator, fair, but you did have a group a few days ago that did, so we're good. But there's no commonalities between the day's participants, even though they're all of similar age, weight, cultural background, socioeconomic status. So basically, you found three of what you thought were going to be the same woman and you got all different results.

Is that the problem? Okay, so what do you need me for? Really? I don't know whether to be offended, insulted, turned on, or kind of impressed, or all of the above.

Jury's still out. When the lead researcher told you to test the equipment to make sure there wasn't a malfunction causing the abnormalities in results, having your friend come in and use the equipment is not what they meant, I'm sure. Okay, that's fair.

Yes, I am very sexually open-minded, and I was a scientist myself until I decided not to be anymore. Yeah, I. ..

So what do you want me to do? Use the machine? Oh my god, you want me to use the machine.

Do you not have a control on the equipment? Did you not set a control before you started? Okay, then what's the problem? This just keeps getting better and better.

You're worried that overuse might have changed how the machine works? Oh my god, okay. So look, I know we used to, you know, screw around a lot in college, and we've done some shit with too much tequila, but are you really asking me to get on that thing and let you watch?

And what happens if I say no? What happens if I say no? How are you going to test it? Are you going to get on it yourself? Well it's for men and women, right? Okay, all right, I will admit I'm intrigued by the study.

What is this? So the lead researcher made a note here and says they don't seem to have enough stamina to give any real data, none of them lasting longer than 10 minutes under the kind of stimulation the machine provides. What the hell have you got on that thing? Okay, they're just regular sex toys, so did you just pick participants that aren't particularly experienced with that kind of thing?

Oh, I see, okay. Yes, I'm aware we were roommates in college, and I'm aware that you heard some things, so you know what I'm capable of. I don't know if I'm a little creeped out about that.

Okay, that's fair, I did tell you about it, so. You are really pushing this best friend thing. All right, what do you need me to do? I'm intrigued, so, shit, I haven't gotten laid in a while, and kind of bored with the toys I have at home, so why not?

Yes, really, but you better hurry up and get me on that thing before I change my mind. What do you need me to do? Okay, where are you going to be? Are you going to be in there? You're going to be in the control room, okay, fair.

So, you're going to turn on the machines. Oh, I'm going to turn on the machines. There's a remote.

Fair. Okay. Do I have to follow some pattern, or? All right, so what's the goal here? To last as long as I can.

Well, it's a good thing I don't have plans tonight. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

All right, yeah, I mean, sure. Dude, I haven't been with anybody in a while, and like I said, stuff at home is pretty boring. I will say that that thing on there is very sizable.

Mm-hmm. And it actually, you know, does that. Okay.

Weird. Not weird, but I've never seen one that does that. Mm-hmm.

Okay, well, let's do it, I guess. Do I take my clothes off? What do I do? All right, go over there and take my clothes off.

Okay. Sure. This is surreal, to say the least.

Okay. All right, there we go. I'm naked, now what? Sit in the chair, okay.

All right, I am in the chair. Okay. Oh, those are cute.

Oh, they just go on my nipples. Interesting. In the stirrups.

Okay. All right, feet in the stirrups. Why do I feel like I'm at the gynecologist? Spread wider.

Oh, okay, wider. Sure, you can literally see everything now. Mm-hmm, cool.

All right. Suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable. No, it's fine.

Now what? Okay, I'm going to go without the anal stimulator, if that's okay. It looks like you've got participants from another study that were good with that.

Yeah. Well, I don't really know what that's all about. Oh, is that it? That's barely even the size of my pinky finger.

All right, yeah, sure, why not? Okay, hold on. I can't believe I'm doing this.

You owe me so big, like, honestly. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you do.

Like, major shopping spree, any theater show I want on Broadway, like, trip to the Bahamas big. We'll talk. Okay.

All right, so I just do this when I'm ready? Okay. You're going to go in there.

Oh. Well, is it easier if you come out here with the laptop? Well, you're testing the equipment, so you've got to be able to see it.

Fair. All right, all right, I'm ready. Let's do this.

It's already on. I just have to use the remote. Okay, cool.

Okay, so this is the remote. I'm suddenly shy. I don't think I've ever been shy in my entire life.

What is this? Oh, okay. I wasn't expecting that because I didn't hear anything, but these little things on my nipples are, like, sucking them.

That's new. Wow. Okay, hold on.

We're just going to enjoy that for a second. Are you close enough to see? Well, you may as well get right in front, get a front row view of what's going on.

I don't think I've ever felt a toy that sucks my nipples like this. No, it's like real suction, like a mouth, but there's no, like, noise. Fuck, it's sucking both of them.

My pussy's getting wet already. I'm not getting good readings. So what exactly are you looking at on that laptop? There's a sensor in the toy? Okay.

Oh, shit. Okay. And the chair that I'm sitting on has sensors that tell it, tell the computer what's happening.

Oh, fuck. I'm going to turn this up if you don't mind. They're sucking harder now.

Holy fuck. I'm impressed that you're looking at that laptop and not looking at me. Are you getting jaded from watching women do this all day? Well, there's a pussy wide open in front of you, and a beautiful woman about to come in front of you, and you're staring at the laptop.

I know it's me, but still. Oh, my God. Okay, we need to turn that down a little bit.

Wow. Okay, so the nipple things work really well, and they're very nice. Even on low, they're just sucking nicely.

Okay, what's next? Oh, what is this? Okay, this is another button.

Okay, this is the clit stimulator. Interesting. Whoa.

Okay. Wow. Okay, wow.

Turn up the nipples. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Okay, now you're watching. Oh, God. That's huge.

Oh, fuck. It's vibrating my entire pussy. And because I'm spread open, it's intense.

Oh, my God. Oh, there. We turn it down a little bit.

Oh, fuck. My nipples and my pussy. I don't know what's going to make me come first.

That giant cock right there, though, is very intense. That giant cock right there, though, is very appealing. Okay, okay.

Okay. I'm going to slide this in. Oh, fuck.

That's huge. That's huge. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, God. Okay, where's the.

.. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Are you watching? Is this giving you what you need? Oh, fuck.

It's fucking my pussies up hard. Jesus, it's stretching me. I don't know if I've ever taken one this big.

I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna cum so hard. Fuck, go faster.

Oh, fuck. Yes, yes. Oh, God.

Oh, God, my entire body is cumming. Are you watching? Watch.

Don't look at the fucking laptop. Look at me. Look at me.

Watch my pussy cum around this giant cock. Watch me. Oh, God, I can't sit still.

Yes. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.