Episode 3 - Elevators

Transcript

Hey, what's going on? This is Eric Dizzee, the creator of Black Widow, and this is Brooklyn Janae, the voice of Jessica. If you love Black Widow, then we need a few things from you.

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Oh, wow, that's fucking crazy. Celibate, but got a baby on the way. How, Sway? Girl, tell me about it.

All of that and I still ain't getting no dick. Men are fucking annoying. Girl, yes.

Let me get you another drink. That was too much. You know what? I think it's time for us women to embrace our inner slut.

Oh, what do you mean by that? Women need to stop wasting time wishing men were different. We just need to learn how to play by their rules.

But we can't. We would be considered hoes. So here you go, ladies.

Thank you. But what do you mean, so? You don't care about being called a hoe? Why should I? What am I supposed to do? Wait until a man acts right before I get to explore my sexuality? All in the name of not being called a hoe? Nah, I'm good because that may never happen.

The savagery. I'm just free. It's a wonderful feeling.

My mother always told me to never be ashamed of who I am or what I want. She sounds like a wise woman. She is.

I mean, it's not the 50s and 60s anymore. We don't need to follow the same rules our grandparents and then follow. We don't need men anymore to take care of us.

We got our own money. Shit. And even then, they were getting cheated on.

My granddaddy had a whole family on the side. See? A whole nother family.

He was probably just a few blocks over with a bitch named Geraldine. Oh, not Geraldine. You know they had them old ass names back in the day.

OK, so let me ask you this then. Shoot. You say you're embracing your inner slut, but what's the cutoff point? What you mean? Like, for instance, would you sleep with a married man? You really are a savage.

You're not worried about karma? Karma? I look at it like this.

Women who never sleep with married men or guys with girlfriends still get cheated on. There is no way to protect yourself from that. So if he's throwing dick my way and I want it, why should I deny it? You don't feel bad afterward? No, not really.

I mean, only when the sex is trash do I feel bad. More so mad that I wasted my damn time. But if it's good, I don't feel shit.

Like, all right. So this one time, I went to the bar after I got promoted at work. After my ex and I broke up, I was down for about a month.

Of course, everyone wanted to know what happened, but I had to lie. It's embarrassing being cheated on. And plus, I was tired of reliving it over and over again.

I was ready to move on. However, Facebook and Instagram had other plans. It seemed like every time I got online, I was constantly reminded of him and what used to be us.

I had to take a break from it all. I allowed myself one month to be down and depressed about it. And after that, I dove head first into work.

I needed to indulge in something positive to take my mind off of everything. After a while, it became routine. And it paid off.

Hey, Jessica. Can I see you in my office for a minute? Sure thing, Mr.

O'Neal. I'll be right there. Have a seat.

How you doing? I'm fine. Busy, but fine.

So what's up? Is everything OK? Yeah, everything is perfect, actually.

That's why I called you into my office. Oh, OK. So what's up? Well, for the past two years, you've been really busting your ass around here.

I know these last few weeks have been tough, but you pushed through, and for that, I say thank you. You're welcome. Just doing my part in helping the team.

Thank you for noticing. Also, thank you for your dedication, because I know you've made sacrifices. Yeah, you can say that.

Your social life has to be taking a back seat to all this hard work you've put in. That is accurate, sir. But it's OK.

It's for good reason. I have a question, though, and I need an honest answer. OK, what's up? Do you love your job? Yeah.

I love my job. Why do you ask? Damn.

What? Do you love it so much you're not willing to give it up? What do you mean? Well, I figure if you love it that much, then maybe you'll satisfy where you are and don't care to move up.

No, I hate it. I just thought about it. I hate it.

Oh, you have a change of heart now. Absolutely. I hate it.

See, that's part of the reason we love you around here. You have a great personality. Mr.

O'Neal, are you buttering me up? Anyways, back to what I was saying. You know the director of operations position is open, right? Yeah.

Well, why didn't you apply for it? I've honestly been too caught up in my projects and deadlines. I haven't had the time to even think about another position.

This was kind of true. Yeah, I was focused. But my motivation came from trying to keep my mind off my ex.

I didn't even think to apply for that position. What if I told you that the board has chosen someone to fill it? Really? That's great.

Who? You. Really? Don't play with me.

Are you serious? Yes. I wouldn't play with you like that.

We had a meeting yesterday and decided if you wanted the position, it's yours. Of course I want it. Why wouldn't I? Wow.

We recognize your ambition and want you to know that it is appreciated and hasn't gone unnoticed. And we definitely want to help you get to the next level. This promotion was bittersweet.

I mean, I worked my ass off, so I did deserve it. But that comment about my personal life hit home hard. I didn't mean to cut everyone off, per se.

I just didn't make time for anyone. My family only saw me on holidays, and my friends only saw me via social media. And because of my hiatus, that hasn't been much.

I put everything into my work. I had no idea it would pay off like this. This was a surprise.

Well, say something. Sorry. I just don't know what to say.

You can start by saying yes. Oh, of course. Yes.

I want the position. Thank you so much, Mr. O'Neal.

You can call me Steve, Jessica. Oh, my. I feel like I'm being inducted into some sort of secret society.

Thank you, Steve. No problem. And you know what? Take the rest of the day off and go celebrate.

If we need you, we will shoot you an email. But other than that, enjoy your time off. But clean out your desk before you leave.

Your office will be ready by Monday. Ooh, thank you so much. No problem.

Now, don't let me down. I won't. That night, I felt the need to get a few drinks.

I had just got promoted. A small turn up was needed. The bar down the street always seemed to be packed on Friday.

So I said, what the hell? I threw on one of my summer dresses, some nice shoes, picked my hair up, and walked down to have a drink. I got there, and it was a nice crowd.

People were being social with one another, laughing, having a good time, just what I needed. It wasn't too packed, because it was still early. So I had no problem finding a seat at the bar.

Hey, what can I get for you? Hey, can I get a Crown and Coke, please? OK, one Crown and Coke coming up.

Are we celebrating anything tonight? A long, yet satisfying-ass week. So if you add just a little more alcohol, I'll add just a little more tip.

Oh, say no more. Here you go. Thank you.

Mm, god damn, this is strong. I guess you want that tip. You know it.

Don't be trying to get me drunk so I can give you all my money. You ain't slick. You need me to remake it? Because I can't.

Nah, I'm good. Thank you. Mm-hmm.

Oh, shit. Right as I was starting to relax, my ex walks in and spots me almost instantly. I haven't seen this nigga since he cheated on me and we broke up.

That was two years ago. It was at that moment that I realized I was truly over him. I felt nothing.

No anger, no resentment, nothing. Jeff. Almost like nothing had ever happened.

So I gave a slight smile and a little wave, and he walked over. Damn. What up, Jess? Long time no see.

How you been? Hello, Dominic. I've been just fine.

How are you? I'm better now. Shit.

Damn, you look really good. How am I supposed to look? You seem really shocked.

No, no, no. Not at all. I'm just saying, you look really good.

Well, thank you, Dominic. I'm on a fuck-nigga-free diet. It does really well with my skin and natural glow, don't you think? OK.

I deserve that. I got a question, though. What's up? When did you get a sense of humor? Well, after you fuck a clown for so long, some of that humor is bound to rub off on you, you know? Damn, girl.

You going to kill me all night, or can I sit down and have a drink with you? You can sit down if you want. I'm cool on the drinks, though.

He sat next to me, and I noticed he had a ring on his finger. I almost choked. I never thought this nigga would ever get married.

I honestly thought he wanted to be a player his whole life. This was a shock. So when did that happen? When did what happen? Nigga, don't play dumb with me.

When did you get married? Oh, shit. That? Almost a year ago.

Wow. Wow what? Nothing.

Just nothing. Congrats. Thanks, I think.

Are you being funny, or? I wasn't trying to be funny. I was being genuine.

Congratulations, Dominic. Look, I'm sorry. I never thought that I would be talking to you, of all people, about me being married.

It's cool, though. Trust, it's not easy for me either. We don't have to talk about your little situation if you don't want to.

My little situation, huh? You are fucking petty. I'm just saying.

Crazy-ass Jessica. We started catching up, and I lost track of time. It was almost 1 AM, and we had been just sitting and talking shit like we used to.

He asked me if I was seeing anyone, and my response was, it's none of your business. I mean, I'm as single as the day is long, but he didn't need to know that. He seemed a little jealous, and that made me feel good.

In a weird way, it turned me on. I mean, this is a guy who at one point gave me some of the most intense orgasms I ever felt. No matter what he did to me, nothing can take that away.

The truth is, I never stopped loving him, but I hated him for cheating on me. Does he know how many niggas I dodged trying to be a good girl only for him to be a hoe? When we were together, I kept my urges to myself.

I was afraid I would scare him off. Niggas love a freak, but not when she's freakier than him. If only I had shown him my true self, we could have been fucking these women together.

But who am I kidding? He probably still would have cheated. Men are fucking annoying.

By my third drink, I realized I was in full flirt mode. Fuck it, why not? I didn't miss him, but I did miss the dick.

I was horny, and I wanted to see if I could get it one last time. At that point, I didn't really care that he was married, and apparently, neither did he. Niggas ain't shit, but neither am I.

I reached for his dick, and he didn't stop me. Once I realized that, it was all systems go. So, what's up? Shit, what's up? Look, you trying to fuck or what? Girl, stop playing with me.

Who's playing? I lifted my dress lightly, took his hand, and placed it on my pussy. Him playing with my kitty had my juices flowing all over his hand.

I made him lick all of my sweetness off his fingers, and then I kissed him. I didn't care who saw us, but I couldn't help myself. I always did love the taste of me on his lips.

Oh, you were serious. As fuck. You trying to fuck or nah? Bartender, yo, bartender.

What's up? You want another shot? Nah, I think we're done, boss.

Can I close my tab and take her bill? Sure thing. I'll take that as a yes.

Nigga, what you think? That's a hell yes. I wanted you when I saw you.

I know how you get when you drink, so I was just letting that sauce kick in. Nigga, were you plotting on me? You ain't shit.

Here you go, bro. Thank y'all for coming out. Thank you, sir.

Here you go, man. Keep the change. Thanks.

Thanks. You ready? Yeah, but where we going? I live close.

We can go back to my place. Bet. Answer your phone before you get in trouble, sir.

I ain't trying to mess up your little situation. My situation? You got jokes tonight, I see.

Don't try and act tough. If we can't do this, I understand. We can call it a night.

Nah, I've been thinking about this and you too much to not go through with it. Uh-oh. So you've been thinking about me? Low key? Yeah.

Interesting. What? Nothing.

My building is right up here. Oh shit. You live close.

I go to that bar all the time. When did you move over here? Uh-uh.

You asking too much. Chill. I don't need you stalking me.

Stop it. He grabbed my ass as the elevator doors closed. He rubbed me just like he used to.

Slow, full of passion, and with aggression. He started kissing and biting on my neck while choking me, but as much as I enjoyed it, I wanted to be in control, so I stopped him. I pulled the emergency stop button and caught him off guard, but I ain't give a damn.

Wait, what you doing? Get on your knees. You are crazy.

You know that, right? Just do what I say. I am.

Now what? You know what to do. Stop asking questions.

Damn, when did you get this aggressive? You talking too much. You must not.

He lifted my leg up and went to town. I almost started to scream because it felt so good. It had been entirely too long.

He was a pro at this, and I wanted to enjoy every bit of it. I eventually came and I could tell that he knew because he started grinning. He then stood up and took his dick out.

It's been so long since I had seen it. I forgot how blessed this man was. He pulled out a condom, turned me around and slid inside of me.

It was fast and intense, but fucking amazing. He knew my body. He knew exactly what I wanted and how I wanted it.

He went straight to my spot. He went fast and slow, and a couple minutes later, he was done. I came and he followed right behind me.

Once we were situated, I released the emergency stop button and the elevator proceeded to my floor. We looked at each other and just laughed. I'm sure he was laughing because of how crazy this evening played out, but what I thought was funny was how I felt absolutely nothing.

I didn't regret it and I didn't feel bad for his wife. It was just a nut. The elevator made it to my floor.

I got off and he began to follow behind me, but when he tried to get off, I pushed his ass back on the elevator. Whoa, what's going on? What are you doing? We've had our fun, sir.

What? Good night. Nah, nah, nah.

That was more like an appetizer. I got so much more for you. Why you playing? Nah, I'm cold.

Oh my God. Go home to your wife, Dom. Damn, it's like that? Boy, go home before you get on punishment.

She done called you about 50, 11 times. Oh, that's how you plan it? You cold-blooded, man.

Cold-blooded. You'll be fine. Damn.

Good night. Good night, Jess. Something about seeing the look of disappointment on his face as the elevator closed made me so happy.

He looked so upset and I gave zero fucks. A part of me was happy because I finally knew that chapter was over in my life. No more what ifs.

No more wanting one last time. It was finally fucking over. I waited a little while longer and then walked back to my building.

Couldn't let his ass know where I stayed. That note was well needed. God really does be looking out for me.

I took a shower and I slept like a baby. The next morning I woke up and made myself breakfast. I went about my day as if nothing happened and felt good about it.

I had no strings of guilt weighing me down or regrets. I like the feeling. No, I love the feeling.

Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Black Widow. Black Widow was created, produced, recorded, mixed, and sound designed by Eric Dizzee. Black Widow was written by Eric Dizzee and Brittany Ray.

This week's episode is starring Brooklyn Janae as Jessica and co-starring Sharif Oliver as Dominic, Cliff Armstrong as Mr. O'Neal, Greg Smith as the bartender, Evan Smith as Kim, and Alicia Hall as the flight attendant. Black Widow is strictly crowdfunded, so if you want this to continue, please head on over to www.blackwidowpodcast.com and start donating today.