Dude, It's Just a...Well, You Know...

Transcript

So you struck out, huh? Toothpick sucks. What the fuck happened? I thought this one was a sure thing.

Uh, one of those, huh? Wants to wait. Well, I mean, I guess it's better to have found out now than ten dates in? Still sucks, though.

Did she, like, give you any indication that that was a thing? Or did she make you think you were gonna get all the way? Really? Wait, what? No.

Okay, okay, what the fuck happened? Okay, so you were in your car, right? Pretty standard, making out, yeah? Okay, she let you feel her up over her clothes? Fair.

You've done that before, right? Okay. What? Okay, okay, okay, okay, hold up.

She opened her shirt and let you feel her nipples inside her bra? Like, just, like, touch them? Or, oh my god, like, full-on play with them? Did she react? She did.

Okay, when a girl starts moaning and rubbing your cock through your pants, she's into it. Then what happened? Okay, she put your hand between her legs? Over her pants.

Like, just, like, set it there? Or, like, what happened? Wait, oh my god.

She started rubbing her pussy with your hand over her pants. Okay. Were you still touching her nipples with the other hand? So, you're basically, like, stimulating this girl.

Did she at least still have her hand on your cock? It was there, but it wasn't moving. Okay.

So, I'm at a loss. What was the outcome of this? How did you get from that to, I want to wait? Oh my god, did you just say after she came? What? She came.

So, hold up, hold up. Okay, my head just exploded. So, this chick basically used you to get off.

And then stopped? Okay. What? I'm sorry, I'm a little flabbergasted, because that's incredibly selfish.

She basically used you as a masturbatory aid and then turned off the taps. What the fuck, man? That sucks, dude.

I'm sorry, that's, like, grade A bullshit. Like, what the fuck? What did you even say to her? Oh.

Well, of course you would, because you're not a dick. You said it was okay and took her home. What else were you going to say? Did she have any explanation? Like, other than, I want to wait until marriage all of a sudden after I came on your hand? What the fuck? I don't even know what to say to that.

Who does that? Like, was the orgasm, like, unexpected? Like, she didn't know it was coming? Really? Oh, she was actively working toward it.

Okay, because sometimes shit happens and you don't know that it's coming, especially if you have no experience, I guess. But she knew. Oh, man.

That's fucking low. Like, low. Dude, that's the definition of cocktease.

Are you okay? Like, that, oh, fuck. Tell me you at least went home and, like, rubbed one out to feel better, because you had to have been so uncomfortable.

I'm uncomfortable hearing it, and I wasn't even there. Don't fucking turn so red, Jesus. You basically just told me that you got a girl off in your car and now you're deciding to be embarrassed?

What the fuck? We talk about this shit all the time. It's not a big deal.

Okay. So what? So what? Dude, I've had a fucking vagina since you met me, and that was many years ago.

Never mattered before now. And I certainly am not gonna use it like that, fucking dumb bitch. So, why is this a thing? Okay.

Whatever. Anyway, shitty, dude. I mean, at least, like I said, you know now.

Don't put any more time and effort into that one. Fuck. Ugh.

Ugh. That's like. ..

Ugh. I don't know. I don't get what the big deal is.

It's a cock. It's not a fucking alien or something. You're not asking to, like, implant a fucking alien nation in her body.

You're asking to fuck her. It's. ..

it's really no big deal. Yeah, I actually believe that. Sex is sex, dude.

It's not that big a deal. You weren't asking her to marry you. I mean, although it probably would have improved your chances if you had.

Ugh. Ugh. Sorry.

Wigged. Oh my god. Okay, now I'm like.

.. I'm like, worked up. Like, angry.

Because that's. .. that's a shitty thing to do.

I feel bad for you. I do, because you clearly did something right by, you know, getting her off. And she turns around and does that.

Ugh. Yeah. If a guy's gonna get me off, I'm gonna return the favor.

But that's just the way it works. And I would expect the reverse to be true. You know? It's just courtesy or something.

What do you mean, who have I been getting off? Nobody. But hypothetically, if it ever happened.

.. I don't exactly have them lining up at the door, you know what I mean? Shut up.

Well. .. No, we're not talking about me.

We're talking about you. We're talking about the fact that you were super good to this girl, and she was a total fucking dipshit. And nasty.

To boot. Yeah, it really is just a cock. It's not that big a deal.

I mean, hell, if you wanted to, you could put it in me right now. Because I'm kinda all, like, jacked up. Yeah, I said that.

Hold on. I gotta think about that for a second. Um.

.. Sometimes shit comes out of my mouth before my brain has a chance to filter it. Just a sec.

You know what? Fuck it. Yeah.

If you want to, I'm in. I know we've never done it before. Like, ever.

Either of us. But. ..

Maybe. .. we should.

It's going to be less of an issue if we're not virgins anymore. And besides, thinking about you playing with her nibbles and, like, rubbing her pussy just. ..

I'm all kinds of, like, jacked up, so. .. And I can see that you are, too.

It's not exactly something you can hide. Oh. Okay.

You're not jacked up about that. What are you jacked up about? Because your pants are telling a different story.

You're jacked up about me? Dude. What? Um.

.. Well, yeah, I did just kind of offer to. ..

Okay. And, yeah, I did just say that. It is just a cock.

It's not a big deal. What? Okay.

If that does it for you, dude, whatever you gotta do to sleep at night, just take your pants off, and let's do this. I'm 100% serious. Why would I fuck around about this? I've literally just told you that this other chick is a bitch for being a cock tease.

I'm offering, and then you think I'm going to turn around and say no? That's a dick move. And not, like, the good kind of dick moves.

Ha ha. Yes, I think I'm funny. Shut up.

You should know that by now. Mm-hmm. So are we doing this or what? Because we have a movie to catch in, like, two hours, and if we're going to have sex, I'd like to have time to clean up after.

All right, let's do this. Take your pants off. Ha ha ha.

Okay, okay, okay. I'm not taking the bra off. I'm just kind of lifting it.

You can fucking do whatever you want with the boobs. Here. Okay.

Do you just hear all the way back here? There's my pants off. Yeah, this seems a little perfunctory.

I think we're missing a few steps. First of all, we don't have a condom. Do you have a condom? Okay, in your wallet, of course.

How fucking cliche are you? You want to get the fucking thing out? Okay.

All right, there it is. Good. Okay, what are we doing? What do you want to do? Do you want to.

.. You like nipples? Because mine are right there.

I kind of like the idea that you were playing with hers and rubbing her pussy, so do you want to do that? And I'll, like, stroke your cock or something? All right, let's do that.

Ha ha. Give me that. Mm.

Tell me you haven't, like, done this yourself and thought about this. About fucking me. Yeah, I've thought about it.

What? You want me to lie to you? Mm-hmm.

And with your cock in my hand, I'm now aware of why I thought about it. You have a nice cock. That girl was an idiot.

Mm. Just don't touch me. Just let me do this for a minute.

Mm. Ha ha. Oh, a little faster.

That's good. Mm. I'm so wet right now.

Yeah, I touch myself. Who doesn't? Fuck.

Dude, I can, like, get in and get out in, like, 30 seconds, or I can make it, like, an all-day affair. Fuck. Who doesn't fucking masturbate? If they say they don't, they're lying.

Mm-hmm. Ah, fuck. Ah.

Mm. Oh, this is nice. It's gonna feel so nice when you put it in me.

I can tell. Can you imagine how tight it's gonna be in there? Well, I only use my fingers.

It's not like I put anything else in there. So it's not like I'm used to anything, so be warned. Ah.

Well, why are you stopping me? Oh. Yeah, fair enough.

Okay. We don't want it over before it begins. All right.

What do you want? Okay. Ah.

Oh, that's nice. Oh, your mouth is very, very nice on my nipple. Yeah, I'll take it.

Ooh, suck it. Yeah, suck it. Just fucking suck it.

Ah. Ah. Mm.

Oh, that feels good. I mean, you play with them with your fingers and stuff, but. ..

Oh, your teeth. Oh, but this is, like, another level. Oh, fuck.

Wow. Ah. Ah.

Oh, yes, suck that nipple. Oh, suck that tit, yes. Oh, be rough.

Be rough, be rough. I want to feel it rough. Ah.

Yes. Yes, yes. Mm.

Mm. Yes, fuck. Yes.

Oh, you pinched the other one. Pinched the other one. Ah, fuck.

Oh, shit. I've been way too gentle on these things for way too long. Fuck.

Ah, yes. Harder, harder, harder. Give me a fucking hickey on my nipple, yes.

Mm. Mm. Oh, fuck.

Ah. Ah. Oh, God.

Oh, fuck. Fuck. Wait, wait, stop, stop, stop, stop.

I need a minute. Can somebody come from their nipples? I didn't know that was something that happens.

Well, I almost did. I don't know if I can. Is that real? I don't know.

We'll have to find out. Not today, though, because my posy's on fire and I need to be fucked. So, if you put that in me, you're going to hurt me.

So, let's do fingers first. I love being fingered. So, do you want to do that? Stupid question.

Okay. Put your fingers in your mouth. Just two fingers.

Put them in your mouth. Actually, give them here. Put them in my mouth.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. What? Um, do you really think that you can handle me sucking your cock first? I suck at it.

Ha ha. I'm not good at it, so let's get the fucking part over with and then we'll experiment with other shit later, okay? Uh-huh.

Feels good, though, doesn't it? Ha ha. Okay.

You're all nice and wet. Although, I don't think you're going to have any trouble down there. All right.

Okay. Here we go. Just be gentle, please.

Okay. Ready? Uh! Oh, shit.

Your fingers are a lot bigger than mine. Oh, wow. Mm.

Okay. Stroke your cock with the other hand. Oh, holy fuck.

Oh. It's a lot different when it's somebody else's fingers. Oh, my God.

Yeah, it's tight. It's tight. Oh, just go slow.

Mm. Watch. Yeah.

Like, look at it. Look at your fingers in my pussy while you stroke yourself. How hot is that? It's fucking hotter than getting some chick off with her nipples and over the pants handjob in the car.

Ah. Oh, shit. Yes.

Oh, God. Uh. Oh, that feels so good.

You want to, like, flip your thumb up there and work on my clit? You know where that is, right? Okay, okay.

I know. You watch porn. Just making sure.

Doesn't usually mean anything. Oh, fuck. Uh.

Fuck. Oh, God, that's good. Oh, fuck.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Keep doing that. Keep doing that.

If you keep doing what you're doing, I'm going to cum. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Yes. Oh, you're going faster. Okay.

Uh. Uh. Uh.

Yes. Oh, yes. Make me cum.

Please. Please. Yes.

Fuck. Make me cum. Come on.

Yes. Oh, stroke that cock. Wait.

Make me cum. Come on. Come on.

Oh, it's so fucking hot. Oh, yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Fuck.

Uh. Fuck. Uh.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Uh. Okay. Pull them out.

Pull them out. Pull them out. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. That was kind of epic.

I'm not going to lie. Oh, shit. Okay.

All right. All right. All right.

All right. You look pretty ready to go there. Admit it.

You almost fucking shot all over yourself with that. Yeah. I don't blame you.

That was fucking hot. Okay. Fuck.

My pussy is like tingling. Jesus. There's totally a difference between somebody else making you cum and doing it yourself.

Who knew? Fuck, if I'd known that, I would have been doing this a long time ago. Okay.

Okay. All right. All right.

All right. Do you have the condom? Okay.

Get that bad boy open. You know how to put that on, right? Squeeze the tip.

Roll it down. Okay. Good.

Yeah. Make it. ..

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. I'm ready when you are. That was so good.

Okay. Go. Go, go, go, go, go.

Get that in there. Fucking put it in me. Slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly.

It's a little bit bigger than your fingers. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

All right. All right. Give me a sec.

Give me a sec. Don't you dare fucking move. I know it's stinging everything you've got.

I need a sec, okay? Just look at me. Look at me.

Look at me. You're in me. You've put your cock in someone now.

Congratulations. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.

Feel good? Fucking better, because if you said no, man, you'd end up on your ass on the floor. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

I think I'm good. You can move. Just go slow until I get used to you, okay? There.

Okay. Fuck. Yeah, it's good.

It's good. It's good. You can go faster.

I know you want to. I can see it all over your face. Fuck, that's good.

It does feel good. I'm squeezing you. Do you feel it? You do? Good.

Oh, fuck. Now I don't care how long it lasts. You do what you gotta do, dude.

Oh, fuck. That feels good. Oh, man.

Yeah, you can go faster. Yeah. Oh, shit.

Yes, come for me. I see it all over your face. Don't hold back.

Just fucking shoot it, dude. It's okay. Shoot it.

Just fucking shoot it. Come on. Shoot it.

Give it to me. Come on. Oh, yes.

Come. Come. Come.

Come. Yes. Oh, it feels so good.

I want to feel it. I want to feel what it's like for somebody to come in me. Come on.

Please. Please. Come on.

Yes, there it is. Yes. Oh, that's so good.

Yes. Yes. Well, that was unexpected.

Oh, that feels so good. That didn't hurt at all. Are you good? Is that what you wanted? To feel as good as you thought it would? If you say anything but yes, seriously, dude, I'm gonna cut it off.

The look on your face right now? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I wanted. Oh, my God. Hey, you know what? We still have time to do that again before the movie.

Yeah. And you don't have to waste time with those dumb bitches anymore because now we can just do that pretty much whenever you want to.