Don't Tell HR

Transcript

Didn't expect to find anybody here in the middle of the night, did you? Me neither. No, no, I don't mind, but that other stall doesn't work.

Yeah, I tried it first. It has no water. So there's one shower for this side of the retreat.

Great, right? There's, what, 30 of us? And one working shower.

I won't be too much longer if you want to pull up that chair there. Uh, no, I think the curtain's long enough you can't see anything. I mean, I can see over the top, but I don't think you can see underneath when you sit down.

Yeah, see? It's all good. It's all good.

So how are you enjoying the retreat so far? Dude, I don't care. You can't see anything.

What are we going to do, sit here and not say anything while I finish my shower? That's silly. So you having a good time? Some of it's pretty dry.

A lot of it, I feel like it could have been either a 30-minute video that we watch on our own or, fuck, even an email. But whatever. They wanted to put us in buttfuck nowhere and make us stay in some, what I'm pretty sure is a ratched-ass old summer camp that the owners turned into a corporate retreat when it got shut down.

It's okay. Yeah, the bunk assignments weren't well done. Making the best of it.

You too? Yeah. Well, I shouldn't say that.

She's fine. Mine has a really long nighttime routine I've learned over the past couple of days that takes forever and she likes to hum to herself while she does it. And then she goes to bed and she snores like a chainsaw.

So that's been fun. Never thought about that when they said we were staying over. But whatever.

How about you? Oh, no, you're kidding. He knows he's sharing a room, right? Even when the lights go off? Gotta love the ones that share a room and forget they share a room so they do things like that.

I'm sorry. That's. ..

Hmm. Is he one of the younger guys? Well, I didn't say you were old, but I mean, like, one of the newer hires.

Yeah? Oh, my. Oh, my.

Who does that? Honestly, who does that? Who masturbates with someone else in the room? A stranger, no less.

Oh, God. Yeah, I bet. I bet you're glad you brought your AirPods.

Oh, my. Mm-hmm. You win.

But to be fair, at least somebody's getting some of this fucking thing. Mm-hmm. Since, you know, the rooms couldn't be co-ed and partners weren't allowed to come, you gotta.

.. You gotta take care of those needs somehow, I guess. Just not with somebody else in the room.

What the hell? Uh. ..

Hmm? Uh, nope. My partner would not have come because I don't have one.

No, not at the moment. You? Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

How long? Okay, a few months. You okay? Not that it's my business or that I can do anything about it, but it feels like the right thing to ask, you know?

Well that's good. Your decision. Makes sense.

See, this is why the rooms should have been co-ed. They want the team to bond, so the single people should have a free pass for the length of the retreat. Just get laid, forget it ever happened.

Kind of a, you know, what happens in Vegas situation. Okay, fair. Fair.

It would be an H.R. nightmare when we get back to the office, but, oh well. It's still fun to think about.

Alright, I think I'm done here. Just gonna grab my towel off the hook here. Oh, shit.

That did not just happen. Fuck. And of course I can't reach it, because if I go under the curtain to get it, you.

.. Would you mind? Oh, a gentleman, keeping your eyes turned.

Thank you. Okay, here. No, I didn't bring my robe, because my cabin is literally right over there, so I was just gonna run back, because it's like the middle of the night.

So, yeah. It's all yours now, though. No one's moving.

Are you, by any chance, thinking about what we were talking about? Hooking up at the retreat? Maybe? Thought so.

Especially the way you're looking at me in this towel. No, no. Have at it.

I'm thinking about it, too, but I doubt our roommates would sleep through it. In fact, yours might be just downright gross about it. So maybe not such a great idea.

Although. .. Dude, you ever done it in a shower? Mm-hmm.

I like the eyebrow raise. It's very sexy. Yeah.

Get in here. Well, it covers the important stuff, right? And I'm guessing you're not wearing anything under that robe, because you were coming to the shower.

But leave your flip-flops on, because. .. Shower you.

I'll leave mine on, too. Mm-hmm. Let me just.

.. There. Hang this on the hook again.

Hopefully it stays up this time. There. You want to put your robe over top of it? Hmm.

This idea is getting better and better. I do like what I see. Do you? What are you going to say, no? God.

Here. On the hook. Okay.

Okay. I'm going to turn on the water, though, because it's a little bit chilly without it. There we go.

Mm. Mm-hmm. This was a really good idea.

Well, I'm glad I smell good. Just finished in the shower. Mm.

Yeah, the soap is good. It's not girly. Just nice and clean.

Mm. Mm. It is chilly in here, and you are nice and warm.

Mm. Yeah. Oh, I like my neck kissed.

Well, there's the stool that has the shampoo on it. Put my foot on it? Stop that.

Yeah, okay. Here. Oh, you fit between my legs even better, then, while you're kissing my neck.

Mm. Oh, fuck. I haven't been touched in so long.

So good. Wait, what are you doing? You're kissing further down than my neck.

Okay, then. Um. Yeah.

Oh. Yeah, face right in the pussy. I'm okay with it.

Yep. Good call. Call.

Oh, your tongue. Mm. I wish these walls were actual walls so I could hold on.

Ah. Ah. We better keep it down.

I don't know how much anybody can hear, and if anybody's looking out, they're going to see something very suspicious. Mm. Oh, yes.

No, I don't care. Just. Oh.

Yes. Lick my clit. Yes, lick my clit.

Oh, God. Hold me open and put your tongue in there. Yes.

Mm. Oh. Oh.

Fuck. Fuck. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Yes, I like it.

I like it. Suck it. Suck my clit.

Oh. Oh. I'm just going to hold your head tighter.

Oh, like this. Mm. Don't mind me.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Don't mind me if I rub my pussy on your face because this feels really fucking amazing.

And I really want to come now because your mouth is doing amazing, wonderful, awesome things to me. Oh, shit. Don't you dare stop.

Your cock is hard, isn't it? It's just aching. Why don't you touch it? Mm-hmm.

Oh, fuck yeah. Fucking stroke yourself. Oh, there we go.

Oh, yes. Mm. Mm-hmm.

You have a very nice cock, you know. Mm-hmm. Not that I'm like a connoisseur or something, but I, you know, I have a cock.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, I hope your cock is as good as your tongue.

I feel like it will be though. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Um-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm I feel like your penis has a lot more skincoating in your mouth. Lick my pussy. Yes.

Lick my butt. Yeah. Oh.

Mm. Mm. Shit.

Oh. Oh. Ugh.

Oh. Fuck. Dude, that was awesome.

Mm. Mmm. Oh, I haven't come that hard in a long time.

Even my own fingers don't do that for me. Ooh. Oh.

Get up here. Just get up here. Mm.

Give me that cock. Mm. Mm.

Oh, you're so hard. Mm. Mm.

I do taste good. Mm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mm. Mmm.

Okay. So, logistics. Um, these walls are not sturdy enough to fuck against.

We would tip the whole fucking thing over. Um, and we are certainly not getting on the floor, the stool is not big enough, what's the move here? Yeah, because after that, that is going in me.

I don't care how. We're just making it happen. So.

.. Oh. Brilliant.

I like it. Yes. Let's do that.

I'm gonna turn around. Mmm. Mmm.

Hands on the edge. Oh. You gonna fuck me? While I hold on for dear life.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. While I hold on for dear life. Uh, condom.

Shit. No, I don't have. ..

Where am I gonna put it? It's not like I have fucking pockets. Um.

You know what? I don't care. No, I'm on birth control.

Are you clean? Okay. Me too.

So, we're not gonna worry about that. We're just gonna put that inside me. Cause.

.. Mm-hmm. Good.

Good talk. Let's do it. I'll just stick my ass out at you.

Oh. Yep. Mm-hmm.

See? It's nice pussy, isn't it? You're very well acquainted now.

Okay. Mmm. Oh.

Oh, yes. Push it in. Faster.

No, you don't have to go slow. Just fucking do it. Oh.

Oh. Mmm. Oh my god.

I am so fucking full. Oh. Wow.

Oh. Yeah, you better start moving, cause. ..

Yep. Mm-hmm. What do you mean you're gonna come down the drain? You're not gonna come down the drain.

You're gonna shoot it inside me. I wanna feel it. Okay? Please? Yeah, we're not worrying about it.

Okay. Good. Just fucking.

.. Oh, start moving, please. Oh.

I want your load inside me. It's like a dirty little secret I'll take back to my cabin. Mmm.

Ooh. Yes. Oh, yes.

Play with my tits. Yes. Oh, why you fuck my pussy.

Yes. Oh god, you're so fucking solid. Mmm.

It's been a while for you too, huh? Yeah. Mmm.

Ooh. Nice touch. Yes, kiss my neck.

Mmm. Oh, fuck. Yes.

I'm keeping my hands on the top of my head. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. I'm keeping my hands on the top of the stall, yes.