Don't Fall Asleep With the Radio On

Transcript

Hey, you! Yes, you! Feeling tired, stressed out, a little lost as to what life is really all about? Do you secretly wonder if you're living your true purpose? Seeing what you want to see, going where you need to go, and most importantly, just having a grand old time?

Don't you worry! It turns out there is a right answer, just for you, no matter how many previous attempts have failed. Now, don't be embarrassed.

Many people wander aimlessly about their lives, never seeing the right, most fulfilling path they could be on. Everything about their lives could be different, better, brighter. Every day could stop being filled with devastation and confusion, and instead be filled with the acceptance of peace, joy, and if we play our cards right, some good old grade A satisfaction.

Introducing Say Yes, a lifestyle brand unlike any other. We give you exactly what you need, precisely when you ask for it, using intuitive self-reflection, alongside body readings and just a teensy bit of manipulation, all from the comfort of your own head and home. With Say Yes, you'll be so busy living your best life, there won't be room for regret.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Letty, you sound like every half-hearted scam artist looking to make a quick buck. Promising me what? Fame, fortune, and luxury beyond my wildest dreams? What are you, a business school pamphlet? Make no mistake, we only promise one thing.

Intimate self-possession. No gold leaf frames or plated copper columns here. Only the finest feeling of a life ready to be lived well.

But Letty, some poor lambs may wail, I can't possibly have or maybe don't even deserve the best that life has to offer. What does possessing myself even mean? We understand, truly we do.

When life hasn't exactly been smooth sailing, a fully dressed out ocean liner cruise complete with a custom nameplate can be hard to say yes to. But whatever your dreams and wishes may be, a new job, a new city, a healthy relationship, or even just some homegrown gumption, we have exactly what you need and we're just mad about giving you everything you deserve. All you have to do is say yes.

It's alright. Take a deep breath for me. In.

.. and out. In.

.. and out. Don't be nervous, it's just us.

Ah, I'm turning back now. You can have it all, you know. That stability, that light, that beauty you crave inside your soul.

I bet it gets lonely, all that work. Laying brick after emotional brick. Meltdowns and tantrums and fights about everything and nothing.

All held together at their jagged edges by the oily, poisonous lies we tell ourselves and everyone else. That's just how it is. I'll never be different.

I can't do anything except what I'm doing now. But then, you know that isn't true, don't you? But then, you know that isn't true, don't you? Sure you do.

And now, now, don't insult me. I know you've seen the videos, read the think pieces. Heard the testimonials and exhausted pop psychological platitudes.

All of the affirmations and positive thinking in the world haven't helped, have they? Oh sure, you repeat those phrases to yourself, like reverent prayerful chants into the hollow mirror. You search your own empty eyes until you have to look away, frustrated and heartbroken.

The absence of that spark of recognition. The aha moment, they call it. Maybe you've gone so far as to convince yourself it's not real.

That you'll never have whatever it is they have that makes them so capable and so actionable. The light passes on, day becomes night. Everything continues the same as it always did under the light of a new sun.

What about you? That's right. You'll just stay right there and rot.

Hmm, I saw that. There it goes, that ugly little lie dancing so effortlessly across your face. I can practically feel your tongue wringing itself into knots, aching to say that horrible little word.

You know the one. Lazy. Well of course it's funny, don't you think? A convenient sum total explanation for why things are the way they are.

Perfect little package, this precious bow hinges on all of it being somehow intrinsically all your fault. Anyway, how often have you heard it, hmm? You know what I mean.

That you're work shy, that you won't apply yourself, whatever that means. They tell you you're struggle and strife are over exaggerated or maybe even fake. That you're just an inconsistent person underneath all the trappings and finery.

Able to dress or dance or sing or sew. Unable to remember a passport or just do something with your life already. It's alright my dearest little mouse.

That's how we found each other, how I saw you. Oh yes, I do see right down deep in those eyes. Better than the rest of them ever could.

The. .. The loping nature of your mind, the aches and pains of your body, the.

.. The isolation of the whole affair and the storm itself never lets you rest. All of your misery.

Everything lurking behind that rapidly beating heart of yours calls to me. It's the reason I'm here, right? To make it all better for you.

It's okay to be skeptical. Your suspicion is cute, but not misplaced. Bet a smile with this many teeth would unsettle anybody.

What are you expecting, hmm? I bet I can guess. Aloof and demanding, more than a little mean.

You think I'm going to march into your life, prop my feet up on the table and. .. Point fingers at you until I've created more holes that I've filled.

That I'll situate myself on a throne forged from my. .. Delighted wreckage of your self-esteem.

So sure I know exactly how to navigate through the smoky fallout and furthermore. .. Single-minded in my belief in my right to tell you exactly where to go.

I mean, it's what everyone else has done, right? Yeah, but you know, I don't think that's the answer. No, I think that what you need is something.

.. Softer. More invasive and intentional.

Something that speaks to that gaping void of loneliness inside you. Something so simple, yet so alien, you wouldn't know what to do with it if you tried. I think that what you need is an adoring audience.

Something to perform for. To give you a reason to strip your own flesh. Open your chest and drag whatever heart of you remains.

Out. Someone to sit quietly at center stage. Bound in rapt attention.

With sparkling eyes only for you. To drink you in like champagne. We can give you that audience.

I will be that audience. Tell me what you want. Tell me what you want.

Need me to float around while you work. Showering you in compliments and praise. Maybe a muse lounging across your bed.

Lost in thought, but always ready to soak in the intensity and purpose of your art. Or maybe you want a snuggly, half-dressed courtesan. A constant, beautiful entity.

A refuge from everything that is ugly in the world around you. Wouldn't it be lovely to have the best of what life has to offer? To revel and even thrive in your deepest desires? Of course it is.

I knew you'd see it my way. You're so perceptive and you know so much and yet. ..

You need me. You want the things I see. The way I speak.

You want to know why. The mere thought of having my approval The mere thought of having my approval is making your heart thump madly and your thoughts turn into. ..