Don't Cuddle Me!

Transcript

Hey, welcome home, how was your day? That's good. My day was fine.

Is it not okay for my day to be fine? It was fine, nothing happened. I'm not sure what else you want me to say.

It wasn't bad, it wasn't the best day of my life, it was fine. Don't worry about it. Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to forget.

Come here, give me a hug. Just a quick one though, because I'm trying to get dinner started for us. I didn't expect you home quite so early, so I was going to make dinner and I put it off a little bit.

So, sorry about that. No, no, it's fine, I'll take care of it. No, really, I don't need the help, I'll handle it.

No, seriously, I've got this. I'm not being grumpy. Who's being grumpy? I'm not being grumpy.

No. Why do you think I'm being grumpy? No, I'm just trying to be focused.

I've been distractible lately, I'm just trying to get, I want to focus on this and can't have my attention every which way. No, I'm not being grumpy. I don't know what you're on my case about.

Did you have a nice drive home? Hmm? No, I'm not trying to change the subject.

Well, yeah, I can focus on dinner and still talk to you about your commute. Just, I can't focus on it while I'm trying to give you more hugs. Just.

.. Why don't you go in the living room and you can put your feet up, you can. ..

That show that you like to watch? Yeah, the one, it's on right now, isn't it? Why don't you go watch it? No, you've been working hard today, you need to relax a little bit.

Just go sit down in the living room and I'll call you when dinner's ready, okay? Well, fine, if you don't want to watch that, just, I mean, go put something on Netflix, just choose something. You can't watch.

.. No, you cannot skip ahead in the series, though. No, because we're watching that together.

But. .. Fine, then read a book or listen to music or just do something, I.

.. No, I don't need a hug. I am not grumpy.

No, I'm not. .. No.

Stop, stop accusing me of being grumpy. No, I'm not pouting either. No, I'm absolutely not pouting.

Well, fine, when you define it like that. .. Yeah, I'm pouting a little bit, okay, but it's.

.. I'm just hungry, okay, and I'm trying to get dinner ready and. ..

No, get off me! You're making it worse, come on. I don't know that.

.. Making it worse, the hug didn't make me any hungrier, but it delayed me making dinner by a few seconds, and it's a few more seconds that I have to be hungry. So, yeah, the hug made me hungrier.

So, no, just, seriously, nothing's wrong, it's just, I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm just trying to get this done. And, you know, I'm just a little bit out of sorts today, I guess. No, seriously.

Like, I'm not trying to be rude here, but I really want a little space. Yeah, I get that we haven't been around each other all day, but. ..

Babe, I'm. .. Sweetheart, I'm not trying to be rude to you.

I just want to have a little elbow room, you know? Well, yeah, okay, I guess I didn't give you a kiss when you had. ..

Come here. Alright, so now, just relax, okay, nothing is wrong. I'm not grumpy, I'm not angry, I'm not upset, I just.

.. I'm hungry, I'm tired, I want to make dinner, and focus on that. No, nothing went wrong at work, the presentation went just fine.

Yeah, I'm just, I feel great, I feel great. Okay, I don't feel great, I don't feel great, I feel okay. And, but there's nothing wrong with that, I don't need to feel great all the time.

I don't need euphoria. No, no, I'm not sick. Have you been sick? You're not sick.

I mean, I know you were, you were sneezing a lot this morning while you were getting ready in the bathroom, but. .. Are you sick? Right, right, allergies.

Yeah. I mean, so, yeah, I'm not. ..

No, when I say I'm not feeling great, I don't mean that I feel sick, I just mean that I'm just. .. I'm hungry, and tired, and just a little bit.

.. Out of sorts, I guess. Hmm? No, while you were getting ready this morning, I was asleep.

No, okay, yeah, so I. .. Because I said you were sneezing, yeah, I woke up a little bit when you sneezed, and I heard a couple sneezes, but I fell back asleep after that.

No, seriously, I was asleep, like, the whole time. I was. I'm not lying.

Okay, fine, I'm lying, I was awake. I didn't see what purpose it would serve. I'm not sure what you're looking for from me here.

I woke up when your alarm went off, and I heard you go in the shower, and I was awake, I just couldn't fall back asleep, and, you know, I didn't have to be up for another 45 minutes, so. .. I just.

.. No, after you left, I just read a book for a few minutes, and. ..

That's all. No, don't worry about it, I'm not upset that you woke me up, it's fine. No, that's the price of sharing a bedroom with someone, sometimes you're gonna wake each other up, I'm not mad about that.

I'm not mad at all. No. Look, I really don't want to talk about it.

Yeah, I know, I can't ever hide anything from you, you know me too well, but. .. It's stupid, right? It's definitely not worth ruining your homecoming today.

No, it's dumb, I don't want to. .. It's something that I'm just dealing with myself, that I don't need to put on you.

No, no hugs, okay? My body hurts. My body.

It does so. Everything. It all hurts.

Like, all of it, from my forehead down. So, just. ..

Okay, fine, it doesn't hurt, I just. .. I'm just wanting space, like I said.

You would not. You would. ..

No. You really gonna do me dirty like that? You would actually skip ahead in our Netflix series just to punish me for being grumpy? Not that I'm grumpy, because I'm not.

Okay, fine, I'm a little grumpy, and I'm a little pouty, I admitted that. Fine, fine. But, I mean, I'll tell you with the caveat that I tried to keep it to myself, and.

.. Because I know it's dumb. But, you know, I left a little love note by your sink in the bathroom for you to get this morning, and I know you saw it because you took it, but you didn't say anything to me, and it just kind of hurt my feelings a little bit.

And. .. No, I.

.. No, I told you I was sleeping just now, but no, I was awake, and. ..

Huh? No, I had my eyes closed because when you came out of the bathroom, the light was really bright, and. ..

You thought I was sleeping. Hmm. Well, now I just feel like I was rude.

Sorry, I. .. Well, no, I thought that you had.

.. I thought that you were just in a rush to get out the door so much that you couldn't. ..

That you didn't want to take the time to say thank you for the note or give me a hug and a kiss or anything, and I. .. I thought that you knew I was awake, and.

.. I'm sorry, that. ..

Hmm? Yeah, I. ..

I always mute my phone when I'm in meetings. So, hang on. No, because I.

.. I got caught up in work stuff after the meeting, and I didn't. ..

I didn't check my voicemail. So. ..

Hang on. You waited for my meeting and then called me so that you could leave me a voicemail that I. ..

Hang on, let me. .. And there it is.

And here I've been. ..