💋 🥰 Do You STILL Like Me? 🥰 💋 (F4A) (Your Sister’s Friend) (Your Crush) (Shy Listener x Confident Speaker)

Transcript

Of course she's not here. I don't even dare to be surprised. Move over, I need to do the slump of self-pity.

Why is she ghosting me? I don't look like a foot, unlike a certain new boyfriend. He absolutely looks like a foot and he speaks like a foot.

Exactly, not at all, but apparently they have loads to speak to each other about because they're never not together, although something does tell me they don't really talk. To quote Hermione Granger in The Goblet of Fire, Victor's more of a physical being. Hang out with me.

Please? Can't you even take pity? But why? I'm so pitiful.

Please? But I'm wearing a cute outfit and my makeup's nice. You are mean.

Or I'm just feeling rejected. I knew I'd wear you down, okay. Question one, do we have beer? Question two, where is it? Not only does he look and talk like a foot, I bet he smells like one too.

I'm not getting that close. Stupid face. It's not even that I dislike him, I just dislike that he's taken my friend away.

Which I know is reductive and takes away her autonomy. He didn't take her, she went. But I'm way more interesting than a dumb boyfriend, aren't I? And I have nice boobs.

Everyone says. Well, maybe you didn't say it, but I'm sure you thought it, right? It's okay, you're only human, I know I have nice boobs, it's my curse to bear.

Oh, I'm embarrassed, I do, my back. Oi, oi, oi. I'm going to lay on the floor.

Oh, gee. Everybody wants big boobs, but nobody wants big boob responsibilities. And what a wait.

Hmm. Why do you have such freakishly pretty eyes? It's freaky, like, sparkly.

Man played the genetic lottery and came out looking like a shoujo character. Life is not fair. And ignore me, I'm just sour because I got stood up.

Because your sister would apparently rather hang out with her boyfriend than her best friend. Which I get it, they're young and in love and it's all very exciting, but really? I'm still here, little fecker.

And I'm going to be here after he breaks your heart and hymen. And of course I'm just joking because her hymen was broken many moons ago. Which is fine, because she's growing up, she's exploring herself and we do not slut shame.

Which is such a contradictory and oxymoronic phrase. Not to slut shame, it's like, but you're calling them a slut. Or is it kind of like when people took back the word queer? It's like, hey, I can use queer.

Queer is powerful. Feck you, homophobe. Hmm, and words are coming out of my mouth and don't really make much sense.

And sorry that you're having to suffer me. You don't have to suffer me, I will go home. Ah, and now you've said that.

Oh, you don't have to go home. That's not how you invite somebody to stay. Either say, OK, see you later or say, no, stay.

No, because, oh, no, you don't have to go home is vague and it makes me think, oh, they're just saying that to be polite. Are you just saying it to be polite? OK, then, ask me properly.

OK, I will stay. Oh. Which is a very good idea, because I've had one beer, and when you don't drink like I do, it goes straight to your noggin and I don't have my phone on me.

Well, actually, that's a lie. I do have my phone on me, but it died because I don't have my charger on me. And I know that that's my responsibility to charge the phone, but sometimes it just escapes my noggin and then the phone is not charged.

Oh, my mum gets very mad at me. And she's right, too, if I just would remember my damn, damn charger. OK, I know I'm boring, but there's no need to just get up and walk away.

At least say bye first. Oh. You absolute angel.

Oh. Thank you for being responsible and having a charger and lending me a charger. I knew I liked you.

No, because unlike you, I don't use vague phrases. When I say I like you, it means I like you. And that is why when your sister asked me if I like a new boyfriend, I said, uh, no.

Ah, because she doesn't speak like a human being and I am crotchety. And protective. And she has very bad taste in men.

And it's not really her fault because she's really sweet and lovely and men are just. .. They come in many flavours, which she keeps choosing.

They come in many flavours, which she keeps choosing the poison berry one. I have a theory that really sweet people attract really sour people. Possibly explains why I like you.

No, I'm just saying we're very yin and yang. I'm a yapper, you're a listener. I'm forgetful, you're reliable.

I forget my charger, you lend me your charger. You are. ..

a functioning person. Well done. I can function, it's just, uh, in a disorderly fashion.

I wouldn't describe myself as chaotic, but I'm definitely not tidy either. It's a spectrum. And we are both somewhere on it.

And my phone, she loves. Now to text my mother and say I am not dead. And, uh, to arrange an Uber.

What did I just say? Stop it with the you don't have tos. You don't have to go, you don't have to get an Uber.

Do you have an opinion? If you want some space, I will go. If you don't mind me just talking at you, then say so.

I hear 40 minutes. No, Uber, this is why we shouldn't live in the sticks. Living in the countryside has many drawbacks, including peace, tranquility, and a lack of Ubers.

I'll try it again later and see if somebody's floating them out. She does still like me, doesn't she? Lady Gaga.

Your sister, you noodle. She's kinda making me feel like an ignored girlfriend. She's not responding to my texts, she barely acknowledges my memes, and.

.. I just miss her. Ha! Oh, would you be jealous? I am not using you, no.

Unlike you, I'm not the mayor of Vaguetown. I'm very clear about enjoying your company. You're the one that's all, oh, this is my sister's friend, and, oh, come in, I guess, and you can stay if you want to.

It's like, what is that? You saying I'm annoying? Never before have I been so offended with something I want to 100% agree with.

You are cheeky. And you used to be so sweet, used to stare up at me with your big eyes like, oh, hello. Where did that person go, hmm? Don't become cynical.

It's probably too late, you have too much of a brain not to be a cynic, no. Be stupid. Because you were so cute and dewy-eyed and it used to make me feel special.

I don't see the point in lying, I've been dumped by my best friend, I might as well be honest. I've always liked you, you little goof. Well, originally, because you were unapologetic about liking me.

And then, after a while, we liked similar things and we made fun of your sister and she made fun of us and I used to come around a lot and it was just nice. Now you've grown up and you're aloof and vague and unimpressed. Where'd that little sparkly-eyed thing go? Your eyes are still pretty, though.

Good for you. Hmm. Come lay on the floor with me.

Come on, you used to. Remember when we used to have sleepovers and we'd sleep next to each other and we'd just stare off and be like, oh, so magical. Commit to hanging out with me or go away.

I have no interest in hanging out with someone who does not believe in the magic of sleepovers. Come. I can't explain it, there is something so romantic and whimsical and magic about a sleepover.

It's like, oh, I'm staying over at someone else's house and we can stay up and share stories and have a midnight feast and it just feels so. .. Right.

Believe in the magic of a sleepover. You are never too ill for a sleepover. Unless you're a serious, stingy scrooge.

How do you plead? No, you must believe in magic, come on. Hold your hand like we used to.

Why, whatever, yes you did. Yes, you did. You always used to hold my hand.

Hmm. I like to.