Cowboy From Hell Wrangles You

Transcript

Hmm, just what do we have here? An intruder? Onto my range? Oh, you're no ranch hand of mine.

Good thing my lasso skills are second to none. You are slippier than an escaped soul. I don't think you realize just where you are right now, partner.

In fact, one would wonder just how in the hell a human ended up here. I'm sure that gave it away. Welcome to hell, partner.

You know, you're supposed to be dead when you come here. You're an eager one, ain't ya? Well, no sense in keeping you here.

You're coming with me. Oh, it's just a formality. You know, till I figure out just what to do with you.

I would normally untie you now, but then again, you're definitely not what I'm used to wrangling out in these parts. Here, let me help you onto my horse. Yeah, why, of course he's made out of bones.

Do you have any idea about how hell works? Leave it to a mortal to not understand basic hell biology. So, how exactly did you get here? You know it's not every day I find a human wandering these lands.

This is one of the most barren landscapes in all of hell. Very few entities other than me and a few of my ranch hands roam these parts. Ah, so you woke up here after falling asleep in your bed, hmm.

A likely story. How could you be so sure that you're not just dreaming, then? Be honest with me, mortal.

You've been practicing a cold magic. Oh, how naughty. You thought those rituals were just games, hmm? Urban legends passed down.

Oh no. I assure you, they're very much real. You're seeing me, after all.

This is no dream. You know I'm actually quite impressed. You managed to open a portal from the mortal realm to hell.

Usually that takes years of practice, but here you are. A noob mortal occultist riding on the back of my horse. Not exactly what I expected to run into today, but this job can get quite dull, so it's a welcome surprise, I suppose.

Oh yes, just where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Verzarius, leader of the Soul Wranglers.

We have the task of capturing escaped souls that managed to get away from the inner layers of hell. These planes are where we intercept them. Nothing gets past our watch.

You can count on that. Well, we're here. Welcome to my manor.

I believe you humans would refer to this as a ranch house. Let me get those ropes off you. It was just a precaution.

I guess you don't really have anywhere to go off to, anyway. Now, inside, quickly. If another of my kind spots us together, this could get rather awkward to explain.

I'm sure you understand. I still need to figure out what to do with you. I've never had an incident like this before.

It's not like we have a protocol set up for this. Plus, I need to get you back to your home. Hell is no place for a still-living human, and you don't really strike me as the type to come here after death, either.

You've been surprisingly understanding throughout this whole ordeal. I do appreciate that. Most souls we capture aren't so understanding, but that only makes sense, I suppose.

Now, won't you have a seat? Please make yourself at home. No, wait, wait, not that chair.

Sorry, I forgot humans are hurt by those temperatures. Just stay there and look pretty for a minute. Rest yourself a spell.

I'll be right back. Ah, here it is. This book contains all sorts of rituals for summoning to and from the mortal realm, somewhat like the opposite of what you use to summon yourself here.

Pardon the dust. It's not like I have to use this very often. Oh, shit, Ford Sierra RS Cosworth.

That's a kick-ass. Oh, shit, I'm still fucking recording. Now, let me just take a gander here.

Ah, here it is. Yes, of course I know how to read it. What do you think I was, born 300 years ago? You silly mortals.

Now, let's see. Just here, on page 420, draw a picture of a large green gecko on the floor. Okay, but just what in the hell is a gecko? Here, I'll let you draw.

This is probably some sort of mortal deity of great importance. Dear Satan, a feral beast. I had no idea the mortals had such a creature roaming their lands.

Well, I suppose that'll do. Now, next step. Combine half a gram of Plutonian Nyborg and Hellstone Powder.

Simple enough. I believe I have both of those around here. Ah, wonderful.

This should do nicely. Now, what's the final step? Have the intended realm traveler drink the concoction and stand inside the drawing.

Wait five seconds, and then turn around. The traveler will be teleported to their intended dimension. Well, you hear all that? Sounds easy enough.

Go ahead, give it a try. Drink up. Hmm.

.. One. ..

Two. .. Three.

.. Four. ..

Five. .. Turn.

.. Oh, what's the matter? Why did it not work? Hmm.

.. I wonder why. Oh, how silly of me.

That wasn't a teleportation ritual. It was a love ceremony. I wonder how that happened.

Oh, darling. You can turn back around now. Ah, that's it.

Come right into my arms. I could tell you were lonely when I first saw you. You were running away from something.

Why else would you try and run away to another realm? It's okay now. You're here with me.

Everything's gonna be alright. You can relax now. Whatever troubles you were having don't matter anymore.

All that matters is you. I knew I couldn't let anyone else have you after I first laid eyes on you. So, so rarely are we visited by mortals.

And especially one as cute as you are. How could I ever resist? Now come close and put those lips against mine.

Mmm. So that's what a human's lips feel like. Lovely.

I've been missing out all this time. Being all the way out here gets quite lonely at times. But now, neither of us are alone.

I'm quite happy with this arrangement. I'd say you are too. And without this ritual, deep down, you know this is what you want.

Your body doesn't lie. Now won't you join me on the couch? This one doesn't burn.

I promise. Come on and lie down on the couch with me. I know you want to be closer.

Well, you're not so shy anymore. Right on top of me without any hesitation. Good.

I like that. Now bring those lips here again. Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Hmm You can feel it through my pants now I've never had a human before This should be an interesting experience Get those fucking pants off Good You follow orders I like that Let's see if you take dick just as well Feel me lower I'm so fucking hard for you That cute ass of yours won't be mine I can feel your tight little pussy Oh You're so fucking wet Good You'll need to be to take all of me Now help me get these damn pants off I feel like I'm about to burst out of them Hmm Much better Now all that's left are those panties of yours Whoops Not anymore Allow me to do the same I'll grab you by the hips and lower you onto me I'll make you ride till you can't stop coming Oh Oh my god That pussy is so tight Humans are so much tighter than any suckiness I've had Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Hmm Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh fuck Oh my god It's so fucking wet Hmm Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh yes Feel all of my thick shaft hit you in just the right places No human male could do this to you Oh Oh Oh Oh You can feel my dick pounding inside your pussy You take it like a good little slut that you are Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh I'm gonna hit your G-spot Scream louder No one can hear us Now you know what true pleasure feels like I'll let you have this every day You'll be coming harder than ever before Your pussy has to stretch so much for my thick cock Mm Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh yes.