Coming Out as Trans Femme to Your Older Sibling [M4TF] [LGBT+] [Supportive] [Protective] [Hugs] [Accepting]

Transcript

Hey bro, you up here? There you are, is everything okay? You sure? You only ever hide in the attic when something's wrong, like mom and dad told me you've been up here for the past hour.

Look, I'm not gonna force you to tell me anything, but we both know that you're not fine. Okay, okay, I'm not gonna force it. So is it okay if I just sit here next to you? Thank you.

Oh, what are you looking at there? Oh, wow, you found some old photos. Oh yeah, that looks like the baby shower we had when mom was pregnant with you.

I think I was around seven years old then. I got really upset that day because I thought I was gonna meet you for the first time. You know, it took me a while to understand that it was just a party.

Yeah, I remember enjoying the cake and the gender reveal was fun too. Mom and dad were super surprised to see me excited about getting a baby brother. Oh yeah, they thought I would be mad somehow, but honestly, I was just happy to have a sibling.

I think, yeah, you could see a little me in the background there, uh-huh, right next to grandma. Although, um, any reason in particular you're staring at that one? Just because? Okay, okay.

Listen, um, I know you don't want to tell me what's wrong and that that is completely fine, but I think I might have an idea. Is it okay if I take a guess? Right, uh, last week, dad asked me to look through your room for, um, dirty laundry while you were at school, and, um, I found something I wasn't expecting.

I didn't tell mom or dad about it, promise, so you don't have to worry, okay? And honestly, it's nothing bad, I really want to stress that, it's nothing bad. It's just, um, I guess not normal? No, no, not that, it's not, it's not, um, typical.

Yeah, it's not typical, I think, I think that's a better word to use. Well, um, I found a skirt. Again, it's nothing bad, just unexpected, that's all.

Yeah. So, um, I guess you have a girlfriend now? You know, if you do, that's completely fine, I just want to- No, no, okay.

Okay, uh, I guess you're just a fanboy? Oh, hey, hey, no, no, no, please don't cry, there's- You know, there's nothing wrong with liking more feminine things, you know? I know that society puts an unfair expectation on guys to be strong and manly, but It's okay to step away from that if you want to.

It's- it's not that either, okay, okay. Then- then why are you crying? Promise, I'm not- I'm not mad for whatever the reason is.

You're- you're trans. Ah, oh, okay. Huh, wow.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not upset, I'm not- I'm not upset, promise, it's- it's not a bad thing. It's just, uh, I'm just- I'm just surprised, that's all. Hey, uh, listen to me.

Um, I'm just gender, so I don't know what you're going through. But I can tell that it is weighing on your mind. All I want you to know is that I accept you.

And I still love you as my sibling, no matter what gender you are. Yeah, really. Of course you can have a hug.

Here, come here. Hey, I- I love you so much. Mm-hmm.

Oh, um, before we go any- any further, uh, what- what pronouns do you want me to use? Okay, okay, I'll- I'll try to remember, you know I'm bad at this. I'll try, I'll try, I promise.

Um, how about a name? Any- any new name you want me to call you? Oh, man, I love that name.

Really suits you, by the way. But I'm just- I'm so happy to call you my little sister. Of course I am.

You're figuring out who you are, and I know that's not an easy thing to do. And if who you are is my sister, then really, I have no reason to call you otherwise, right? Oh, uh, I'll assume mom and dad don't know.

Right, um, I'm also guessing you don't want to tell them yet? Yeah, that's, uh, that's what I thought. Have you told anyone at school? Really? Well, I am honored that you trusted me enough to tell me first.

You have my full support, sis. And I want to let you know that I won't tell anybody unless you want me to. This secret is safe with me.

And when or even if you decide it's time to tell someone, I'll be more than happy to stand by your side. Aww, come here, let me give you another hug. Sigh.

Oh, uh, is it okay if I keep, like, asking questions? Real talk, I don't want to overstep any boundaries, so you could just tell me off and say no. Honestly, I was just, um, wondering about some stuff.

You sure? Right. Thank you, thank you.

Uh, I suppose the first thing would be, is this something you've always known, or. .. ? Ah, okay, okay.

Hm? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, there's nothing wrong with that. Um, I know some people have always known that they're trans, and some also just, uh, need time to figure it out.

No matter what, you're violent in your identity. I suppose another thing I wanted to ask is, uh, is there, like, anything I can do to help? Can't really imagine that this is, um, easy for you, so I want to know how I can support my sibling.

Yeah, of course, I'll use your name and pronouns, that's, uh, that's not a problem at all. I'll definitely try to remember, you know, how clumsy I can get. I'm assuming you just only want me to use those when it's just, um, the two of us, right? Only for now, right? Uh, let me, let me know when I can start using them all the time.

And, uh, until then, I'll try calling you more gender-neutral stuff when we're with the others. No more, uh, no more, like, bro or anything like that. Oh, there's really no need to thank me.

I'm, I'm just doing what I think any loving sibling would do, you know? Sure, you could always have another hug. Oh, uh, I think, um, I think I have an idea.

You know, I could ask my girlfriend if she has any old clothes that you can use. Now, before you say anything, I won't ask her if you don't want me to, okay? But I do want you to know that her, um.

.. Wait, I, I shouldn't say that. Uh, just, just know that someone she knows and like is also trans.

I would say who, but, um, but I feel like it wouldn't be respectful to, um, out someone, right? Yeah. God, I'm getting out of topic.

Do you want to ask her if she has any old clothes she can keep? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm serious. Can't have my little sister walking around in her old wardrobe, right? And if my girlfriend doesn't have anything, then we'll just.

.. I'll go shopping with you. Maybe she'll even come along and give you some pointers, right? I love you too, sis.

You know, you're special to me, regardless of gender. You know, this doesn't change anything about how much I care about you. Hmm? Oh, uh, you have questions for me? Yeah, sure.

Uh, what's up? Oh, uh, oh. If you won't be honest, I don't know.

I really don't know how some of the family is going to react. I mean, um, sure, that mom and dad will still love you. Even though it's probably going to take some time for them to process it.

They, uh, you know, they come from a different time than us. But that doesn't make it okay for them to think twice about it or anything. But, um, stuff.

Stuff like that might happen. Still, I know they love you to bits and they'll still care about you once they know. Even if it, um, even if it, um, takes them some time to warm up to the idea.

For the, um, for the extended family, I. .. I'm not so sure.

You know, some of them are very close-minded. They, they don't like to change when the world does. Yeah.

I'm, I'm sorry that I can't give a better answer for you. Honest, it could go either way with a lot of them. I mean, even I don't know what the word gay mean until I was 13, I think.

I remember hearing about it on the news and it took me even longer to learn what transgender meant. I guess what, what I'm trying to say is that this, all of this is still relatively a recent thing. No, no, no, that, actually that's not, that's not right either.

That came out, that came out wrong. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What I mean is, um, gay and trans people have always existed, but they, um, they haven't really, um, you know, they haven't really, um, you know, .