Cold Feet

Transcript

I really don't know. I mean, I like the purple and I like the blue, but that orange is kind of jumping out at me. No orange.

Okay. Well, that's one decision made. Who knew planning a wedding was so freaking stressful.

Um, so what do you think? The purple or the blue? What do you mean you don't care? It's, it's the main colors in our wedding.

I mean, it's kind of important. Oh, okay. Um, I thought, I thought that was the point of you coming over today was to, to get these details figured out so I can start putting deposits down and sending out, save the date cards.

Are you okay? We just, you seem kind of off. You seem, I don't know, angry somehow.

Do you not like any of this stuff? Cause if you don't, it's your wedding too. You have to tell me what, um, how, how long have you felt that way? Well, I'm not going to forget it.

You just told me you weren't sure you even wanted to have a wedding. Um, I don't know what to think about that. Do you just not want a big wedding? Cause my parents are kind of insisting, but I can, I can back them off.

Or do you just not want to get married at all? Well, it is kind of a big question. Yeah.

And I, I think I deserve an answer. A month ago, you got down on one knee with this beautiful ring and you made this big speech about wanting to spend the rest of your life with me. And now, now we're sitting here looking at details for a wedding that's going to allow us to do that.

And, and now you're not sure? What happened between then and now? Like, did you, did you change your mind? Well, I kind of feel like it is me.

Like you don't, you don't want to marry me. And that, that kind of hurts. Okay.

Um, look, let's, let's, let's take some deep breaths and, um, put the wedding stuff aside for a minute and just talk. Okay. Cause something's going on in your head and you, you look like you're about to cry and I know I am, so we should probably deal with this.

You're not sure. Okay. Um, what changed? You were so sure when you asked and now you're, you're not? Did I, I don't know.

Did I do something? Did I say something that made you think, Hmm, I don't want to spend the rest of my life with her. Well, if that's not it, then what's going on? It is, it is a big step.

Marriage is a huge step. I mean, I, I only want to do this once. So, um, that's why I said yes.

Cause I think we could be the forever kind of thing, but if you don't think so, then we need to step back. Uh, no, I didn't. I didn't know that your brother's getting divorced.

When did that happen? We were just all at the family reunion, like, I don't know, six weeks ago and they were there and they were fine. It seemed, and now they're, they're splitting up.

Yeah. Well, I mean, things happen, I guess. Is that what's doing this? Well, divorce isn't supposed to be pretty.

So I don't doubt that there might be some ugliness to it, but that's, that's them. That's not us. Well, no, I, I doubt they went into their wedding day thinking, okay, this is good for now.

And then we'll just, you know, split 10 years later. I know people don't, people don't generally do that. Okay.

There it is. If they didn't see it coming. Okay.

Um, I'm going to tell you something, okay, that I kind of lived my life by and we've been together for a long time. So I'm sure you know this, but I'm going to, I'm going to reiterate. Okay.

Just, just bear with me. So my dad isn't actually my dad. He's my stepdad.

Um, my biological dad hasn't been in the picture since I was like two. I don't even remember him. What I do remember is my mom being an absolute superhero, raising me alone until my stepdad came along when I was, I don't know, eight.

And I remember the nights that I would hear her crying in her room, even years later, because my dad was not there. He'd left. I know what the pain of that looks like.

But when my stepdad came along, I was also able to see what absolute joy looks like. Talking to her now, she barely even remembers going through the nasty stuff. No, I'm not saying we're going to be a first run and then we'll find actual happiness.

That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that kind of joy does exist. That kind of perfect match does exist.

And I, I think we found it. Neither of us went into this lightly, not the marriage part or the, even the relationship itself. I mean, how long were we friends before we quite logically decided to take the next step after weighing the pros and cons?

Neither of us are impulsive. Neither of us do things off the cuff. So if it helps, this is just the next logical decision in our relationship.

I know that's so romantic, right? Yep, absolutely. But I don't think you need romance right now.

I think, I think you're scared. And watching someone you're close to go through something so painful, I don't, I don't blame you. And if you need time to reconsider whether this is what you want to do, then that's, that's fine.

I want you to be a hundred percent certain when we do this. And I'm not going to sit here and try to talk you into it. I just, I want you to know what I see for us.

And if that's not what you see, then we need to deal with that. But I don't want fear to take over. Okay? I don't want you to, to run scared because your brother's going through a hard time.

Okay? No, I don't want to talk about colors and flowers and dresses and tuxes and all that stuff right now. I just, I want you to take a bit and breathe.

Okay? Why don't we, why don't we go for a walk or we'll go catch a movie or we'll do something normal that isn't this. Yeah.

We'll just sort of set it off to the side and we'll come back to it when you've had a chance to process. Okay? Of course it's okay.

I believe that you asked me because this is what you want. But I also believe that you're watching someone you care about go through something extremely difficult that was never part of the plan. And that's making you pause for a minute and that's okay.

I mean, you're human. We all have moments where we question things and this is yours. So we'll, we'll figure out the details later.

I mean, the date we set is far enough away. I don't have to put deposits down right now. Okay? No, I don't.

And we can, we can take our time. And you know what? If we don't want to have a bigger wedding, we don't have to.

We can, we can go to the courthouse in a lope if you want to. Okay? Because this isn't about the wedding.

It's about the marriage and the marriage is the part I want you to be sure about. The rest of it is details that we can just work with. Yes, I'm sure.

I love you. I've loved you probably longer than I was willing to admit. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I don't want you to feel like this.

Okay? I know. I know you love me.

I, I never questioned that. It's okay. Okay.

Let's, um, um, let's go for a walk and maybe we'll find ourselves by that really good Chinese place and grab some, some dinner. My treat. Yeah.

Okay. Don't worry. It'll all work out the way it's supposed to and you will figure out how you feel and we'll go from there.

But for now, we're going to go walk out in the beautiful sunshine and we're gonna get some food and we're just going to pretend that this isn't looming over us. No pressure. Okay.

Okay. I'm going to go grab my shoes.