Christmas Tree Farm (Kane's Version)

Transcript

Are you sure this is the right place? Santa's woodshed is where we are? How did we even get here? This place is sketchy as hell.

A coupon? We got lured here with a coupon? Fine.

Trees are expensive enough. We'll find something. It's going to take more than a little bit of wind and some misshapen Christmas trees to ruin my spirit.

That being said, are you bundled up? Ready to go? You know I hate to see you so much on, but I suppose it is necessary, right? All right, come on.

Let's go. Out of the car. Man, there's really nobody around, huh? Shopping during the week.

That's a pretty good idea. But I don't think there's even somebody here to help us. Are they open? We saw someone driving off with a tree.

I guess they could have stolen it. Well, there's surely somebody around here, I guess. It couldn't hurt to look around.

The hour said they were open, so let's just go see what they've got. There's enough trees here, for sure. We'll find something.

What about this one? What do you think? Not big enough.

You really are insatiable, huh? Well, I tell you what, that one would be plenty big for our house and plenty big for you to take as well. But if you say it's not big enough, we'll look at a few more.

Here we go. You couldn't possibly have anything to say about that. Not enough girth? Now you're just making shit up.

Nobody talks about girth on a Christmas tree. It's nine degrees out here, the wind is howling, and this Christmas tree is not girthy enough to take with us. Okay.

Noted. Well, how about that one over there? You think the back's flat? Yeah, you're probably right.

And the other thing we're going to have to figure out when we leave here is what kind of ornaments we're putting on that. Yeah, we could use the ones from last year. Or grab some new ones if you like, either way.

You need more dicks on the tree? At this point, just decorate a green dildo. I mean, we're here for some wholesome Christmas tradition-keeping of getting a nice, non-girthy tree and covering it in lights and tinsel and.

..not penis. Look, if anything is about to get properly covered here for Christmas, it's going to be you. Anyway.

.. Hey, what's over there by that. ..it looks like a.

..some kind of guard shack or something? Where whoever's supposed to be working here would usually sit and stay warm? Oh, is that where they hide the big ones, you think? Well, then maybe we'll have some luck back over there.

Let's check it out. It is a nice little spot back here. It's pretty secluded, the wind's not quite as bad, and they've got a couple of nice trees.

That one could work, sure. Or that one. Well, now we've got options.

I like that. What was that? Oh, fuck.

It's too cold out here for this. Fuck, up against the wall. What a Christmas tease.

We can't fuck out here. It's too. ..

It's too fucking cold. Yeah, well, if you know that. ..

Why are you pulling at my pants and rubbing my cock? It's so fucking cold around here. You're not going to be a Christmas tease? Well, then what is your plan here? Your lips.

They taste so good. And you've got me up here against the guard shack. So what's it going to be then, gorgeous? A Christmas tease? Are you going to keep my candy cane warm? Just the zipper though.

I don't want my cock getting too cold before it gets in your warm little mouth. Oh, fuck. Oh, God, you're going to get it nice and hard for me? It's so cold out here, you're going to have to work overtime.

Well, I guess since there's nobody here. .. Quit licking your lips and put your tongue on the tip.

Oh, there you go. Get it into your mouth. Attagirl, let it get hard in your mouth.

Mmm, you're so warm. God, that feels so much better the inside of my pants. Oh, it's so cold out here.

Oh, and it's so warm inside you. Oh, God, look at your lips. You love sucking on that thing, don't you? Oh, fuck.

Oh, keep me nice and warm in there. Mmm, give me a few of those big licks with your tongue. Yeah, right over the piercing.

Right, right, oh, right there. That's, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yep, wrap your hand around it.

Squeeze it. Fuck, oh, God. Oh, you know exactly what I like.

Fuck. Oh, God, who would have known that Christmas trees were your thing, huh? Oh, Santa's naughty little cock-sucking arborist.

Well, you've got some wood down your throat now, don't you? Oh, all the way down, fuck. Oh, shit, it feels so good.

Oh, fuck. Oh, no, I'm glad we got stuck here. Yeah, this place, oh, oh, oh, that's it.

More, more, a little bit more, a little bit more. Oh, fuck, oh, God, I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that. Oh, fuck, I can't believe you're gonna make me cum out of here.

You're so fucking naughty. Oh, God, oh, oh, oh, that's it right there. Right there, right there, right there, right there, right there.

Get it deep in your mouth and hold it, hold it, and hold it. Oh, shit, somebody, somebody's pulling up. No, don't, don't stop yet.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, fuck. That's gotta be whoever works here. It sounds like they just went into the.

.. You have to be quiet. No, you're going to finish me off, but you have to be quiet.

Oh, fuck. Oh, God. Not so loud, not so loud.

Are you trying to get us caught? Oh, fuck, oh, God. Oh, oh, yeah, I'm gonna.

.. Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know, squeeze, squeeze them. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Oh, God, open your mouth, open your mouth, I'm coming. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, make me cum, make me cum, make me cum. Stroke it, stroke it, stroke it, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Oh, God, open your mouth. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, fuck. All right, come on, let's.

.. Oh, fuck, all right, come on. Satisfied? Let's get one of these trees and get out of here.

Oh, hey there. Yeah, when we got here, there wasn't anyone at the stand. Cool, well, we'll go find one, and when we know what we want, we'll bring you the tag.

Oh, hey, baby, it looks like you've got some icing on your cheek from that gingerbread house we built. Yeah, here, let me get that for you. Let me.

.. Mm-hmm, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Well, we're gonna go. .. We're gonna go find some wood.