📲 ☺️ Call of the MILF ☺️ 📲 (F4M) (Embarrassed MILF Finally Calls You) (Gentle Flirting) (You Tease & Fluster Her)

Transcript

I can do this. I can do this. Fuck it, I'm going to do this.

I am a grown woman who can make a call. Where is my phone? I have got this.

I'm a strong, independent. .. something who can make her own choices and doesn't have to deal with complex moral dilemmas.

I'm just a woman calling a man. A very young, young man. Call before you don't do it.

Okay. I must be out of my mind, or I've had a chardonnay. Either way, I'm doing it.

I guess how many more chances will I have at. .. this? Hello? Yes, I did remember your number.

Well, at first I thought it was a joke. Then I thought, don't be ridiculous, followed by. ..

how about you have three glasses of chardonnay and see where the night takes you? I have no idea. Why am I calling you? Why am I talking to you? What could we possibly have to call and talk about? I don't know how to respond to that.

Because you are very young and youthful and. .. young.

And you're calling me adorable, which is. .. confusing, to say the least.

No, not entirely unwelcome. Am I not entirely? Of course, I mean, not at all.

But of course, of course, of course. I have conflicting feelings about my certainty of wanting to have this conversation. You know very well why.

Because I'm a middle-aged lady and you are not. You are. ..

a bartender. A bartender who served me a pity drink, took me to my Uber and called me short. And still I called you.

So really, I have not a leg to stand on. Please stop saying my voice is cute. Because it's doing something to my brain and other parts of me.

Anyway, no more talk of parts. How are you? That might have been why I called you.

I am very old and I have no time for texting. Because I don't like wearing my glasses and I have to wear my glasses to read my phone. Because I'm an old lady who needs spectacles.

You got a problem with that? Maybe you should. And maybe you shouldn't be giving out your phone number to old ladies who need spectacles.

Because it's, it's ridiculous. It's cliched. It's tired.

And still, still I called you. Because apparently even old divorcees and spectacles want validation. Vanity never really does go away, does it? Listen to me.

You're in your twenties, you're a fetus. You have no idea what I'm talking about. And no, that was not a slight.

You should not know what I'm talking about. You should be about travel and finding yourself and boobs and all that young people stuff. Well, no, but they are rather the focus of everything.

What am I doing? What am I doing? Texting you talking to you? What? What are we even saying? Hello, I find you attractive.

Well, apparently I needed three Chardonnays to loosen my tongue. And apparently here we are. And apparently you've had confirmed everything you already knew.

So there we are. I feel ridiculous. Like some sad old lady starved for attention.

And then you come along and I'm all, huh, what? And I want to punch myself in the throat. I don't know.

I guess I wanted to call you for who knows what reason besides ooh, intrigue. It's just so sad. It's like you're a grown woman.

You have children. Really? Intrigue? Oh, a boy.

Not that there's anything wrong with romance. Just Oh, God. You're a child.

A baby you. You probably don't even know what cassettes are. Oh, very good.

Well, obviously, that's enough. And we're compatible. No issue here.

You never answered my question, by the way. How are you? I know it's some complex, high thinking stuff, right? How are you? How does one even begin to answer that? Well, maybe I don't want to talk about me.

Maybe I want to talk about you. Because you're a bartender and you're kind and you have a nice smile. And I think it would be good to hear how you are.

Because believe it or not, you're not just eye candy. And I said, I candy and ironically, Oh, dear God. What is happening to me speak, say something not embarrassing, quick.

Good. Good. I'm glad that you are good and fine.

And you didn't have to work today. That's very good. No, I am interested.

I'm just dying inside. Because this whole situation is ridiculous and cringe, as you people say. Yes, you people, youths, young folk, people that don't have to use anti wrinkle creams.

Although apparently, according to 13 year olds, it's never too early to start. Which means I'm going to look like an old leather chair sometime soon. What? What would you like to talk about? Oh, we're going on this date.

Interesting. I don't remember saying we were going on a date. You know why? For all obvious reasons.

Tell me, are you oblivious or just unconcerned? Actually, I did hear from a gentleman I was not excited to meet. He said he was sorry time got away from him.

And what I be open to doing it again sometime. I did not respond. Life is too short to go on dates you're not excited about.

Remember that. Oh, would I be excited to go on a date with you? Okay.

Do you think you're smooth doing that? Yes, it would be. And that makes me feel even stupider than I already feel.

Because you're an ovum. And I am an ancient relic. And it's so cliched and so laughable.

I had the audacity to mock my ex-husband. Happily married to a gorgeous teenager. Okay, she's 26.

But you know, yet here I am just as foolish, just as cliche, just as embarrassing. Also, also, also, you went to school with my son. Wouldn't that be a really traumatizing, shitty thing to do to him? I know you weren't close and you kind of just knew each other.

I'm mixing with intrigue and excitement and alcohol. I don't normally get drunk and call people by the way. Just so you're aware, I'm very responsible.

Very responsible. Like I'm in a job interview. Okay.

Um, I am going to end this conversation and I totally understand if you don't want to speak to me anymore. Because you know, crazy middle aged spectacle lady phoning me. Slightly hammered and talking, calling about nothing.

So I understand. Excuse me?