Call Me Master!

Transcript

Home again, home again. Time to get the new toy installed, and then perhaps a little laundry. Or, instead, I could do what I've been planning and working towards and scheming over for the last, oh, I don't know how long.

Choices, choices. Laundry or evil? Laundry or evil? You won't get away with this, you know? Evil it is.

Wonderful. What do you think it is I won't get away with? Whatever you're up to.

Whatever you've got me trapped for. Well, you've been here for the last week, I think. Local time.

And you haven't worked it out yet. What are they teaching in the schools these days? All I know is you snatched me right out of the control room of my ship while it was deep in the vortex.

And that should be impossible. And that should be impossible. And also very dangerous.

And also very dangerous. An unguided capsule. Makes an emergency landing at the nearest safe planet and goes into low power mode.

You know that? In other words, it's perfectly safe. You, on the other hand, are not.

Look at what I have here. I can't see what that is. Oh, sorry.

Yes, the angle is bad. Hang on. How about now? Oh, I see it now.

What are you doing with a Tillinghast resonator? Those were banned. The last of them was destroyed in the 61st century.

No, it wasn't. I've got it here. Oh, but they're not stable.

They cause all kinds of chaos across the vortex. Really? Well, that's not what I want it for.

Look, it connects to this here. That's fun. What did you expect to happen? Blue sparks, smoke, then an explosion.

Do you know, I think this might actually work. Let's see what happens if I give this contraption just a trickle of power. No, no, stop.

Activate containment. Where am I? Who are you? Why have you brought me here? Why does no one ever open with something original? Who is this woman? Why have you kidnapped her? Oh no, not you.

Not who? Do you know him? Him? No, but I know you.

I can see this is going to take forever. Both of you are incarnations of the same Time Lord, snatched from different points in your timeline and brought here at my whim. This shouldn't be possible.

Oh, come on. Of course it is. It's literally just happened.

I admit, this is a really nifty piece of temporal engineering making it possible. Not something just anyone could pull off, mind you, but I can't honestly go around calling myself The Master if I'm never any good at anything. And I did it all on about 5% power.

I wonder what happens if I push it to 10% or 20%. You would destabilise the timeline. You'd rip a hole in causality big enough to drive a bus through.

Oh, that's a good point. That's a very good point. But on the other hand, if you're going to break something, break it properly.

Let's push this all the way to 50% and see how big a hole we can make. You're mad! Just think about this for a moment.

Extend containment. What in Omega's name is going on? Oh no, not him.

Now, let's all just stay calm. Who are all of you? You.

And I know him too. He's The Master. That's enough chitter chatter.

I have just enough of you to be annoying, but not enough to do what I want. What do you want? What can this whole mad setup be for? I guess you'd like that, wouldn't you? For me to be completely unable to resist telling you how intricate and clever my plan is so you can all combine wits and defeat me somehow?

I don't think so. Instead, I think it's time to bring out another toy. This device works on the remote induction of the nervous system.

In short, it makes you feel things, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. The Sontarans use it for crowd control, but I've had a bit of a plate with this one, and I think I've worked out how to get it to do something else. Especially to Time Lord Physiology.

So let's test it. I'm not a fan. That was like being slapped across the face.

Or buttocks out. Oh, you had to mention buttocks, didn't you? That's what it felt like.

I think I could get used to it. Yes, there was some satisfaction to be had there. Tell me, does this thing have other settings? Oh, it's pathetic, really.

All this technical acumen to keep us here and pull our pigtails. It hardly seems worthy of you. Yes, aren't your plans normally of much greater scope? You mean like the time I turned this entire universe into a closed system, causing an entropy cascade to eat dozens of worlds?

Yes. But after something like that, you want to stop playing to stadium audiences, you know? You want to do things that are more personal, more immediate.

Like now, I could just quietly torture the five of you until you regenerate. Although I don't know what kind of paradox that would cause, and it certainly would be fun to find out. Instead, I think I'm going to push the device that brought you all here to its very limit.

Push this button, and potentially kill us all. How's that for a plan? In general, I'm against it.

I'm not a fan. Me too. Yeah, no.

Too bad. Let's do the time scoop again. Oh.

Maximum containment. Well, well, well. The gang's all here.

Every incarnation of the same Time Lord from all the way across their timeline. Whatever am I going to do with you all? That's what I'd like to know.

Let us go before you harm the Vortex itself. What you're doing is monstrous. Completely monstrous.

You don't need all of them. I volunteered to be your test subject for whatever this all is. Every law of time.

Broken with no more thought than someone dropping a plate. The technology to keep this many of us in one place like this simply doesn't exist. Let me out.

If I have to break out of here, I'll break every bone in your body. Whatever you're trying to achieve, I'm sure there must be another way. Are you full? Are you half? No idea what you're doing.

Just stop. Just for one moment and think. Won't you please think? It's no good.

He's too far gone. We're all completely fucked. This containment system is interesting.

Is it based on status technology? Some of your earlier incarnations have already felt what this device here can do. Direct remote nerve induction is such a flexible technology.

It can induce all kinds of pain. Or other sensations. Bring it on.

I can take pain. I can't. And when I get out of here, I will take great pleasure in sticking it right up your ass.

Well, aren't you charming. Oh my god. I'll take that as an it works.

Good. This is, of course, the lowest setting. I've been trying to think of a name for it.

Fuckmatic? Fuckathon3000? Autodiddle? Nothing really works.

I've settled on Fuckmachine. And that's exactly what it's going to make you feel. Like you're having the best sex of your existence.

All of you, at the same time. Let's see how that feels, shall we? Think outside the box for a moment.

Isn't it possible that with all of us here, with our intelligences combined, there's practically no problem or situation we can't solve? Surely that's a smarter way to use the resources you've gathered? Hmm.

That's actually quite clever. You might be onto something there. So you'll let us out and stop all this? I should, shouldn't I? Really.

I should do the mature thing. Maybe this is my shot at redeeming myself. Set my feet on a path to a brighter future.

I believe in you. Sadly, I'm an irredeemable sadistic maniac, so. ..

So. .. What the fuck? I think it's starting to have an effect.

I think it's starting to have an effect. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know whether I speak for anyone else, I don't know whether I speak for anyone else, but. ..

I don't know whether I speak for anyone else, but. .. what was wrong with buying me dinner first? Shut up and let the man work.

What a good idea. A little more intensity, I think. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Please, please, please! Yes, please! Yes, yes! Oh my god! Oh my god! Yes, yes! Oh my god! Make me calm.

Oh baby. This is one of those times when I see why the Doctor carries an earth girl around with him. Here I am, at the peak of my genius, and there's no one around to say, oh you're fantastic and this is really clever.

I need to look into that. If time on this machine is a work benefit, I volunteer for the job. You be quiet.

You're just where I want you. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Yes, yes! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Yes.

Just a minute, just a minute. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god.

Oh my god! Oh my god. Oh my god.

I feel like I could contribute more. I can't help but feel that I should be, uh, sneering down at you all. Telling you how I feel about you and how small and unworthy you are of my attention.

I have a strong desire to make you earn my approval. Strange. Would that make things worse? Or better? No wonder.

Better. Worse. Um, better.

Please tell me I'm a good girl. Screw good. Screw girl.

Just let me come. Has it got that bad? Have all of you fallen off your lofty perches and given in to the animal need to, uh, fuck and cum? And, most important of all, submit to your master? Please, oh please, oh please, please will you end this torment? End it? End it? ! Why would I end it when I've just got started? !