Caffeinated Confession [M4A][Drider Speaker][Were-? Listener][Friends To More][Alt Reality]

Transcript

Here we are. The only bar in town that offers viable portions for hybrid. Yeah, it's a.

.. it's a real problem. Especially for me.

My spider health gets drunk on caffeine, not liquor. The most rider-accessible bars get the racier on. After two drinks, my head is buzzed, but I can still move straight.

It gets a bit weird. Oh, I come here all the time. I've got a favorite bartender and everything.

Tuesdays are Marcy's shift. She'll take care of you, just don't make eye contact. She gets nervous about that kind of thing.

Wait, you shouldn't order. We came because on Tuesdays, anyone over 10 feet gets drinks half-off. Some humans get really horny over tall hybrids, so the bar I'd say promotional.

Technically, I'm not supposed to buy other people drinks, but Marcy will hook me up. Just tell me what you want. Gotta be right back with that.

Here you go. To your health. So, how many drinks do you think you can take? I'll keep that in mind.

I can only do like 4 of these coffee spikes before I'm entirely useless. Hopefully we'll stop sooner than not. So I've wanted to ask you, do you think your division is going to finish this project? Because mine definitely isn't.

I know right, double order in 3 weeks. What were they thinking? You know, I don't want to say it, but I think it's because we aren't human.

Not in the discriminatory way either. It kind of seems like corporate thinks we're magic or something. We can just snap our fingers and face the workload.

Yeah yeah, remember what he said at that last meeting? I thought it was a joke, but maybe he genuinely thought we could cast spells? I don't know.

It's not like I'm going to take this to HR, but. .. But maybe we should all start writing this down or something.

Make a case. I guess that when we don't finish it, we'll just send Angus or Gloria or maybe me to go talk about it. Our manager might be a dope, but he's definitely a coward.

If someone stronger than him starts to raise their voice, he'll fall. Anyway, I'm going to go back to the bar and grab us a second round. Want to change up your order? You got it.

Round number two. Bottoms up. So, this might just be the drinks getting to me, but.

.. I've always wondered something about you. I know you are a wearer or something, but no one in the office knows what.

Is there a reason for that? Just never told anyone, huh? Well.

.. Would you tell me? I know it's a weird ask.

I just. .. Well.

.. A running tally is kind of set up behind your back. Right now, I think we're at 275 to whoever can guess what you are.

My money is on werewolves, just because they're like the most common, but. .. I would love to get the inside track.

We could split the money 50-50 if you want. Not taking it, huh? I understand.

I mean, no promises that I won't circle back to this if the pot ever gets bigger, though. My leg is starting to get twitchy. Which means I probably only need one more drink to ask you what I want to ask.

Yeah, I've just been stalling. Well, I guess I've been trying to have a good time, too. But really, I just need some liquid courage.

The small talk and wear stuff was just a warm-up. I wish I could just tell you, but I can't. Just.

.. Just let me get one more round. I'll be a little more loose-lipped.

And then we can get out of here before I'm too drunk. Well, there's a park close by. There's a 20-hour pancake house across the street.

And depending on your response to my question, you may just want to go home. But we can talk about that after another round. You want something? Okay.

I'm back. I drank mine on the way. I just need to give it a bit to run through me.

So, how drunk are you? Can you touch your nose or something? Okay, not that drunk.

That's probably good. Well, it's good because that means I'll get an honest opinion. Okay, I can't start at the end, so I'll kind of meander around my point.

I don't think you're a werewolf. I bet it because I'm on the twinning, but I don't think it's right. I think you must be a were-spider or something else in the arachnid family.

Either that or you're way braver than both. What do I mean? What do I mean? Where am I going with this? Think.

Think. Think. You don't flinch.

Wait. That doesn't make any sense. Does it? What I mean is.

.. There's a gradient list of how scared people are of me. Generally, humans get really spooked.

Like, really, really spooked. Then most hybrids are a little better than big, big hybrids specifically. Than other triters.

But with all of those categories, triter excluded, people still get a little startled if I surprise them. Not being normal. Ooh, you scared me.

Neither. The kind where you can tell they're scared of you. I don't blame them.

Spiders are scary and from the waist down. I'm basically a really, really big spider. Plus, the predator-prey instinct don't do me any favors.

So I understand when people back up. It's not their fault, but it still hurts. Just a little.

But you don't do that. You're always fine. Hell, I've even tried to scare you and it doesn't work.

You're seemingly immune to all my spider spookiness. And super me thought that either meant you were a spider, or you secretly attracted to me enough to cancel out the fear. Now that I'm a little drunk, I think I might have just been projecting, since I'm a spider and I'm secretly attracted to you.

Yeah, I like you. I really like your body. You're so amicable, too.

You're like the kind of person I could show off to my parents. The kind I could settle with. The type of person I could sleep with or snuggle with.

And I would like both of those things equally, you know? So, I guess the real question was, do you think you could see yourself in a relationship with me? With a drider? I mean, we can go slow, if that helps.

And we don't need labels or anything. I just, well, I want to hang out sometimes. Maybe friends with benefits? I'll be honest, I haven't.