Boyfriend Cuddles You to Sleep

Transcript

Hey. Hey. What's up? Oh.

I see. Um. Come on.

Come in. Let's go. Come on.

Do you want to hold my hand? You want me to lead you to the bedroom? Anything for you, princess.

Come on. Hold my hand. Um.

Do you want to take your clothes off first? Okay. No, it's fine.

Just. Yeah. Come on.

Sit. Ah. Yeah.

So. Do you want to. No.

Don't let go of my hand. Do you want to. Do you want to talk about it? Pumpkin, you look like you got run over by a semi, okay? It does not take a rocket scientist to know that something is not right.

But hey, if you don't want to talk about it, that's completely fine too. No. No.

I'm just worried. Okay. You can't tell me not to worry.

You know it's my job, right? Below excellent kisser and amazing boyfriend, professional worrier is my job. I'm not kidding.

Okay. Okay. I will try not to worry.

But if you want to talk to me about it, if you want to tell me a few details, I'm all yours, okay? No. No.

I would love to hear about it. Alright. So, do you want to tell me? Just a little bit? Okay.

That's completely fine. Right. Okay.

Okay. Mhm. Yeah.

Okay. Hey, if that's all you want to tell me, that's completely fine too. Okay.

Right. Right. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. It's okay.

Alright. I'm going to sound like a broken record here, but it really is okay. Well, it isn't.

It isn't okay. And that's fine. It's completely fine for things to not be okay.

Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. You have me. Hold my hand tighter.

Look at me. Can you look at me? Everything will be okay.

I promise you that. Maybe not now, maybe not for a while, but things will be okay. And this thing that you're dealing with, it's going to ride on you for a really long time.

And we're just going to have to accept that. But no problem is not without its solution, and no pain is without its healing. And you know that.

I know you know that. Look, you are the strongest person that I know. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Hey, let me talk first, okay? I know you will deflect the crap out of every single compliment that I will shower on you right now, but you will just have to accept it, okay?

I'm telling you, you are the strongest person that I know. And I am so proud of you regardless of what happened. So many people are proud of you regardless of what happened.

And you do not need to feel, you do not need to have that thing biting on you, just telling you to, begging you to explain yourself to every single person. Right. Yes, maybe not everyone's going to understand that you had a bad day.

Maybe you were a little bit too moody, a bit too aggressive on your friend. Yes, but at the end of the day, that's just how we think. And A, maybe we're wrong and we were completely fine.

And B, you really don't need to explain yourself to everyone or anyone at all, okay? They know that you are an amazing human being. You are nice.

You are gentle. You have proven that enough. And this little blip that you're going through does not disregard any of the amazing history that you've had with so many of these people.

Do you understand? Hey, okay, think about it this way. So maybe I was in a bad mood and, you know, I talked a little bit too loudly or I did something that just wasn't up to par with what you or anybody expects from me.

Would you hate me or would you love me any less? No. Okay? And that applies to you from so many people, including me.

Okay, okay, I will tone it down a little, okay? Just, you know how I get whenever I see you like this. Hey, you're the same too, so you cannot make fun of me for it.

All right, why don't you shower a little bit and we can sleep in. Sleep a little bit early, wake up a little late. Come on, it's a Friday.

It's the least you can do for yourself. So why don't you just take a quick shower, all right? We can sleep in.

Does that sound good? Come on, I know you want it. Oh, that cold pillow of yours and that warm blanket sound just so heavenly right now.

All right, cool, so I'll wait for you in bed. Hey. No, I was not sleeping.

I was just resting. Okay, yes, I know it's late. All the more reason that you should go to sleep with me.

Okay? All right, come on. That feels amazing.

Doesn't it feel good? I told you so. Okay, come on, just lay your head, all right? If you want to sleep, you can go ahead and sleep.

If you don't want to yet, then that's fine too. Just lay your head and try not to think about too much, okay? Let me just fill your thoughts with my voice, if you'd like.

Would you like that? Okay. Let me reach deep in my bag of running my mouth until it dries.

And let me just reach deep in my brain and just blabber on until my mouth dries. Hey, look, the sky's pretty clear today. And you can see the stars just twinkle.

Did you know, actually, that stars really don't twinkle? I mean, if you think about it, the sun never twinkles and it's a star. Stars twinkle because of all the particles that it has to go through in our atmosphere.

All of that medium that it has to go through, those light particles. And because of that, there's just minute, I guess, refractions. Maybe that's not the word.

Just some minute differences and refractions from the sun, from the star, far, far away. And to our eyes right here on this planet Earth. And yes, you didn't need to know that.

I guess I think it's pretty cool. Anyway, just lay your head on my shoulder and I'll wrap my arm around you, okay? I will not let go.

I will stay here for as long as you would like. And I will not punch, I promise you that. So just close your eyes and sleep whenever you'd like.

I know, I know. It's been a long day and there's just so much to think about. But for now, you've done so much.

And you've done the most that you can do without sacrificing so much of your health, you know? So you should just lay down, empty your mind, empty your stream of consciousness, and just let my voice fill it with thoughts that will calm you down and slow your body to a halt. Would you like me to keep talking? Okay, I will.

Sometimes I wish that I had the antidote to all of our problems. That I could just spray it on us and we would just be problem-free for however long we would like. I really do wish that sometimes, especially when you're having your problems, like now.

I really wish I could be the person to solve it all. Or at least help you solve it all, but I'm not. But we try.

And we try and we try and we try and. .. Nowadays it just feels like we don't reward those who try anymore.

We reward those that get over the hump and we let our triumphs write our stories. And we let our failures be such dark, dark and ugly blotches in the story of our life. That shouldn't be the case.

I think we need to celebrate everything in our life to some capacity, good or bad. And yes, we can forget many things. I've forgotten many things and I would like to forget many things and that's okay too.

But let's not go around and live our lives pretending like we're perfect machines, capable of doing no wrong forever. Because the one and only thing I know about us is that we make mistakes. And it's up to us if we want to keep going, just being so painfully aware of every single mistake we do and beating ourselves up for it.

Or do we maybe look at things a little bit differently and find just a little bit of hope and a little bit of happiness for things to come. All these struggles, all these problems, every single thing you're going through right now, you're going through it for a reason. And I firmly, firmly, firmly, firmly believe that.

And we would not be in this situation, we would not have gone through so many good memories if not for all the bad memories and all the struggles that we had to go through back then. And it sucks, it sucks that you're going through this, it really does. And I will not lie here with you and lie to you saying that all of this is okay and everything will magically turn out completely fine without you doing anything.

But the truth is we will have to move so many boulders and we will have to climb so many mountains and hills and go through so many valleys just to say that we're okay. But that's not to say that being not okay is terrible. When we're not okay, it makes all the times that we are okay just so much sweeter.

Don't you think? So whatever it is you're going through right now, whatever else it is that maybe you don't want to tell me, which is completely fine, just live through it. And really live.

That's the key word. Live. And I promise you, you will find meaning to it.

Maybe it'll fall on your lap or you'll have to burst your way through life just to find that meaning. But at the end of the day, there is meaning. I remember.

.. I remember that one time that I just sat in our kitchen. Yeah, on the kitchen floor.

I was making myself some toast at like 2 a.m. And I grabbed the milk carton from the fridge and I opened it and I smelled it and it smelled absolutely disgusting. Shut up.

No, I did not drink it. And hey, go to sleep. Come on.

No, I did not drink it, but it smelled awful. And I looked at the label and it was two months expired. And I just broke down.

Like, that was it. Of all the things that happened to me that day, that was what got me over the edge. I sat down and clutched that milk carton harder than I had ever clutched anything in my life.

And I just broke down. Tears streaming down my face. I was ugly wailing.

Good thing you didn't hear me. You would not have wanted to hear me. And no, it is okay in case you think, in case you feel bad because you weren't there for me.

It is fine. I went back to our bed. I hugged you and just being with you made me feel so much better, okay? So do not worry.

You were there for me. Just stupid memories like that. I always just think back to that during these times.

And especially when things are on the up and up, even just for a little bit. I think about just how low of a point that was and things suddenly feel so much better. And maybe in some convoluted way you could take the situation of yours and twist it.

And twist it in that type of narrative. You know, this is the struggle that is the pretense to so much of your success that I know you will achieve. In your own way.

Don't have to be a millionaire. Don't have to do everything that everyone expects of you to do. Success in the sense that you're happy and you're content.

And you wake up one day next to me with a smile on your face saying, I'm living my best life. My best life.