Bloopers - Your Boyfriend Is Sick (M4A)

Transcript

Oh, how do I even drink? Sideways? Oh, thank you baby, that was so nice.

Yeah, something like that. A few more times. What the fuck is a turkey bastard? Oh, that was a real one.

Okay. I'm gonna do this first. Oh my god, I'm.

.. I'm giggling and I've got water in my mustache and I'm shooting water all over my computer. I planned recording this before I went off on holiday.

I planned recording it. .. While I was sick.

Because I was sick before. And all sniffly and such and such. But then I didn't do it because I didn't have energy.

Which is fair enough. But now, I wish I had recorded it while I was still sniffling. Because that would have been a cool effect.

So, what I've got here instead is a COVID test. And I'm gonna poke my nostril with the thingy. Because that makes me sniffle.

So, you know. We'll see if that works. Got the little test tube open.

Nostril thing and cheers. Let's hope I don't have COVID. Oh, that tickles.

Another nostril. The right one is much worse. Oh my god.

Okay. And I've got my test tube. Just gonna swirl it around.

It's working, I think. I hope. If not, then I'll just fake sniffle.

I don't know if you got the COVID ASMR going on here. A little test tube sampling. Should I just do a COVID.

.. You know what? Fuck it.

Might as well just do a COVID test now that I'm. .. I mean, I don't think I've got anything.

But I've been traveling and, you know. I mean. Might as well.

Okay. I'm gonna set a timer. You know what? Might as well just check if I've got COVID.

Because I'm already doing the test. 25 minutes. Should do it.

Okay. I've got a little bit of a sniffle. I don't know how to.

How do I. .. Do I just like.

.. Stare at the bright light? And make myself sneeze? I don't want to damage my eyes though.

We'll figure a way. Fuck it. Let's go.

Okay. I got my improv prompts. Huh.

Just jamming up my nose again. Maybe it's just that I didn't do it long enough. Yeah.

Okay. I'll get some. Okay.

I'm jamming it up now. Just trying to tickle the hair. My left nostril is damaged.

Because I did boxing. And I got like a scar there. So I'm not sure if it's gonna be effective.

So I'm trying my right one. Wow. That just.

.. Oh. There we go.

There we go. Oh. Oh, dear body of mine.

Recognize this as a foreign object. And purge this Q-tip from my nostril. With your snot.

A little bit. I feel a little bit coming. I'll try again.

Hmm. I don't wanna like. ..

I don't know how deep is too deep. I don't wanna chance it. I think it's working.

Oh. Oh. That tickles.

So much. Okay. I'll try one last round.

Just to kind of get it going. Get my body used to the fact to accept that there is a permanent foreign object lodged in there. I believe I can trick myself.

Oh. Okay. I think that's it.

Okay. Oh. Hi, baby.