[BFE] Boyfriend catches you listening to erotic audio...

Transcript

Baby, it's an hour past your alarm. Look, I know you have the day off, but we are going to try out the farmers market, remember? Hey, are you awake under there? Come on, get ready.

Covers are coming off in three, two, one. Good morning, cutie. New headphones? What did you listen to? Is it a good story? A new album that you wouldn't stop talking about? Or.

.. Come on, let me hear. I just want to know what you're into.

It's like literally my job, isn't it? I'm your boyfriend. Come here.

Hmm? It's not something dirty, is it? Come on, what do you have to hide? Come here, don't be a tease.

It must be something saucy. Be careful. You're going to end up breaking them.

No good trying to wriggle away. Come on, stay still. Stay still.

There. Got you good. Shh.

Now, let's see what was so interesting. Oh? It's a man? Oh.

And he likes you. Oh, he likes you. Is this an audio drama? Is this.

.. Oh. Oh, my.

I see. Oh, you're perfect. No wonder you couldn't drag yourself out of bed.

You were too busy being entertained. All the while, while I was making breakfast, a stranger has been keeping Mila for company. No, no, I want to listen a little more.

Stay. Geez, they are laying it on. And so melodramatic.

Oh. Oh, yes. Tell me exactly what you're going to do to me.

God forbid I have to use my imagination. Oh, my. Oh, dear.

Not before you buy me a drink. You don't? I don't even know your.

.. Hang on. I know this accent.

Or at least I know the accent they're trying to do. Oh, my God. Is this an erotic BTS roleplay? You little perv.

It's bad enough that you're getting off to someone's amateur sex tape roleplay thing. I mean, these are actual people you're pretending to listen to. Oh, my gosh.

You wouldn't read fanfic about your friends, would you? This is so weird. Not a bad impression, though.

They must be a real fan. Almost as obsessed as you. Tell me at least you didn't pay money for this.

Oh. A special commission? For how much? I had no idea that you were so vain.

I mean, of course I think you're wonderful, but apparently that just isn't enough. You have to pay actual money for strangers to pretend to be your favorite pop star and whisper, sweet, spicy compliments to you. I honestly can't decide if that's cute or pathetic.

It's not like you need to pretend to have a boyfriend, come on. What's the appeal of strangers playing vocal dress-up? Besides, wouldn't you rather have the real thing? Let me try.

Okay. Here goes. Ah.

I can't, I just can't do this without you. Everyone who sees me on that stage, they think it's easy. They think it's who I am.

But you're different. You see how hard I work. You understand the real me.

The inside my heart me that no one else does. And that's why I wish we could be together. I wish I could take you away and make you mine forever and ever, girl.

We wouldn't have to play dress-up or go out or put on so many smiles. We could just be us. I think that would be the best feeling in the world.

To be yours and to have you be mine. To be each other's. I.

.. I think I love you. Of all the people I've met.

Every fans who's just thrown themselves all over me, all over the years. You're different. You're not like them.

You just don't see the performance when you look at me. When you look at me, you see. I.

.. Sorry. I see what love could look like.

If love were blind. When I see myself through your eyes. I understand why we have eyes.

When I look at you. I understand what hearts are for. Come on.

Isn't that better than some stranger? For a minute there, you bought into it. I mean, for a second.

I kind of meant it. I'm joking. I'm joking.

Come on, baby. Aww. Did I upset you? Is it because I made fun of your kinky little hobby? I don't mind if you're a perv.

Frankly, I am the main beneficiary. Still, I shouldn't have made fun of you. God knows I have enough trash in my playlist.

No, I like that song. Just because it was made fun of in a Reddit post. Come on.

I never played that song during, you know. At least give me that. I know, I know.

I shouldn't joke about love. I remember one of our little rules. I'll try not to forget again.

Because I do love you. And when I look at you, I truly, truly understand what all those pretty boys are really singing about. It's not the clothes or the parties or the, no doubt, fat, fat double stacks that they make.

It's all just the window dressing. It's the words. Can I try again? And this time, I promise to tell the truth.

Okay, thank you. Here goes. Ahem.

Ahem. I love you. I love you like fingers love a guitar.

And the ears love a comfy set of headphones. I don't feel right without you. And if I ever managed to push you away, I'd never forgive myself.

I love you like the stars love the moon and the sky loves them both. That's the truth. That's me.

That's us. And you didn't even have to commission me. Although you could.

What's it take to get into this audio business anyway? Probably a lot. Maybe one of these days, I'll try my hand at it.

I mean, you like my voice. You'd listen if I posted those kinds of recordings on the web, wouldn't you? Or here's an idea.

You can keep me all to yourself. Mwah. Good deal? I thought so.

Mwah. Now come on. Come to breakfast.

Your real three-dimensional boyfriend made pancakes.