Bestfriend - Trauma

Transcript

Hey, there's something I really want to talk to you about. Something that I don't think anybody talks to you about. Something you don't even want to talk about with yourself.

And it will make you very uncomfortable and you won't like it. But we have to. We must talk about it, okay? And it's trauma.

Have you really sat down ever and considered the things that have shaped you in your life? Have you? It's a really big question that I'm asking right now, specifically to you.

Because you have to face the truth. You have to question your own truth. You see, for a long time I thought that I didn't have any trauma.

I thought that I was just normal. That nothing that I had gone through was special or damaging enough. I thought, well, I never had a parent die on me while I was young.

I've never been assaulted. I've never had anything wrong with me, really, physically. No conditions, no cancer, nothing like that.

So I just thought, well, what I'm thinking about, these little issues that I think I might have, they're just normal. I'm 100% sure that everybody has dealt with these same problems because they're not deep enough. They don't qualify as trauma.

Have you ever thought that way? Have you ever thought that your issues are not big enough to be concerned about them? They're not damaging enough because you scaled them versus everyone else, right? You scaled them and you said, no, they're not big enough, they're not enough.

My friend, Mike or whatever, he has a dad that's in prison and whatever, he has a mom that drinks every weekend and an alcoholic mother, blah, blah, blah. That's real trauma. But hey, just because my dad doesn't talk to me ever, he's just around the house, that's fine.

Even though he never talks to me, he still provides. He shows up for my birthday, he tells me happy birthday every year. That's not traumatic.

There's no sign of a deep emotional problem there. Just because my mom is really into my love life and asks me about everything or says inappropriate jokes, that doesn't have to do with anything. She's just a good mom.

She's asking about things. Just because she likes my older brother or my younger sister more than me, then that has nothing to do with it. And obviously I'm just saying these as an example, you know, but there's some truth to all of this.

You must ask why. You must ask it. You have to consider that you do have trauma and you have overlooked it your entire life because you dismissed it.

You said it's not big enough, it's not important enough, it's not traumatic enough without you even realizing that you are lying to yourself. You lied to yourself. You convinced yourself and now you wonder why you have attachment issues, why maybe you have abandonment issues, why relationships don't last, why you're so jealous, why you don't open up.

And you're like, well, everybody's the same, that doesn't mean that I'm fucked up, well maybe you are, but again, you were one of those where you waited out ever since you were young and you considered the fact that everybody, well, they went through real shit, right? So then you're fine. But no, you can't compare these things.

Everybody's life is unique. Everyone, the surest thing is that we all go through trauma. We all go through trauma and a lot of these things that are traumatic, we don't even know they are.

Nobody teaches us this, you know? Nobody ever says, oh, this is trauma, that ain't trauma, whatever. All we know for sure is that you must go through trauma because it is a part of life.

Nobody's perfect. Nobody's parents are perfect. So we can deduce by this that everybody will go through trauma.

And all I want for you is for you to understand this and for you to realize all the trauma that you maybe never, ever realized. Because once you are able to look deep within yourself and understand this is trauma, I never understood it but now I do, maybe then you'll be able to heal and maybe then you'll be able to make a better life for yourself. You as an individual will become better because you'll find out the things that hurt you even though you didn't know.

That is all I am wishing for you. That is all I want you to deal with. That's it.

Nonetheless, I want you to know that I'm always here for you and whenever you do find out what it might be that has damaged you, I'm here to talk about it. You don't have to go through it alone. I am here to help you to maybe even better understand what has happened and how it can be healed because that is all that matters.