Bam Couch Surf Audio - CLEAN VERSION

Transcript

Ugh, what do you mean off the couch? I'm not some animal. It's not like I'm gonna shed all over your furniture.

Ugh, honestly, treating me like this when you're the one who brought me home. I'm not some crazy lady living in the woods either, you know? Uh, I am not.

I swear, you're awfully mean to me. And after all I do for you, too. Oh, what do I do? Oh, for one, I keep you in good shape.

All that running around, wrestling, pouncing on you the moment that you get home, riding you into the sunset. Yeah, what do you think all that's for? I've gotta keep you nimble.

Not to mention, I take you to the gym with me and on hikes. We go outdoors, you're always getting fresh air, get your body in better condition. I remember when you could only go a mile without huffing and puffing.

Now, we go for three miles and on hilly terrain. Pretty good to keep on truckin' to. I did that for you.

Not every tigress is in a precarious position with their meat. Fine, fine, some of it's you, I guess. You do work pretty hard so you can keep up with me.

Well, and honestly, I admire that. I mean, don't get me wrong, you're still kind of a dork and all that, but you've really stepped up since we first met and I've been really impressed by that. Don't think I'm going soft or anything just because I'm being nice all of a sudden.

I'm just seeing how hard you're working and it's worth rewarding with some affirmation. You keep working on yourself and sooner or later, you're not even gonna be able to recognize yourself from how far you've come in a good way. I mean, with hope, you'll just see yourself as this continuously working harder to always be better kind of self.

It is fine to acknowledge where you came from and how far you've come, don't get me wrong, but you didn't need to worry about your past, okay? Making yourself upset about all that nonsense is just gonna hurt you going forward. Me, I keep moving forward.

I need to carry on, you know, build my momentum. My past is my own business. I'm not running from it, I'm running to my future.

There is a tremendous difference. Your past can weigh you down if you let it. I don't let it, so it's not a problem.

Yeah, yeah, that is so. That's right, that's what I thought, nothing to add. I might not be perfect or anything, but I do know what I'm about.

If I do have any past things, I'm gonna work it out my way, you got it? Good. Look, I know you care, but I gotta do things my own way, okay? I'm past most of my shit, so I just need to reprocess what that means.

Thanks, though. I do appreciate your offer to help. I guess just being here for me when I need anything at all is a good way to help.

I know it's difficult when I can't really name the specifics, but I'm not really good with that. Besides, I try to keep busy. I don't really like to meditate on the bullshit.

If you do, more power to you, but I can't stay like that and just dwell on things. I gotta make every moment count, and I do that by living in the moment. No, you don't have to do it like I do it or anything.

You do you. In fact, I prefer it if you just stay yourself, you know? Do things your own way.

I like you being you, and me being me. Keep things tidy and simple. That way I don't want you to change from the parts that I like.

What parts? Oh. I like that you're considerate and help me make food because I don't like to cook, and how you brush my fur and help pick leaves and things out after I go running and exploring outdoors.

I actually do like baths. Tigers do enjoy water and things, you know? I just don't really like it when it gets in my ears.

I like when you say nice things about how strong and pretty I am. Most folks can't handle that I'm stronger than they are, and they end up getting their asses whooped. So, you know, it's just nice to have somebody who's okay with not being stronger.

Took years of physical activity and hard work to get as strong as I am. You see this bicep? I've been growing this baby for over five years.

Natural muscle growth takes time, so, you know, sometimes you just don't see a lot of progress right off the bat. It's consistency and routine. That's what's gonna help you really reach goals, you know? I'll be honest here, it's not really a quick and easy route being possible if you really wanna get to where you're going.

I take a bit of comfort in that, you know? Whenever I feel stuck or stimmied or bogged down or something, sometimes I just need to take a step back and look at the situation. Acknowledging that I am making progress.

It's just not as easy to see because I haven't reached the goals I want to reach yet. It's the same thing with you. Your career goals, education, all that stuff.

You're gonna reach them. It's just gonna take a little bit of time for you to do it. Don't get overwhelmed with the work you're putting in and just fixate on that or anything, okay? Doing more work may get you to your goal sooner, but at what cost, you know? If you're all riled up and can't enjoy your path to it, then what's even the point? Yeah, yeah, I know, I said I do like a job and stuff to get money and help out, but can't you just take pictures of me and post them to the internet thing that you made, you know, like Instabam, Twipper, Dipped Up.

I don't know what they're called. What? Onlybams, Bamsley, what are those? Huh? Wait, you mean people pay more to see me without my clothes? Well, shit, I gotta get naked now.

What are you talking about? Hold on, I finally found a way I could be helpful and, ooh, good thinking. Bikini first.

You know, I have one in the bedroom. Let's go. Yeah, gotta tease them first.

How's this one? Yeah? Awesome.

Let me put it on. Hey, don't cover your eyes. Don't you think I'm hot? Yeah, good.

Now, watch me put it on after taking all this stuff off. It's not like you haven't seen me naked before or anything, right? Oh, you're way too modest.

Do other people like this stuff? Yeah? I know you'd be just jerking it right now if you could, looking at my solid, curvy body like this.

You know, I kinda want you to touch yourself. Photos first. Fine, here, putting on the bikini.