Bad Yoga Instructor

Transcript

Hey. You're here for the class? You're late.

Too late. Deadline savings, remember? Did you forget to change your clocks? All dressed up and nowhere to yoga.

Well, I do my own session before I close up, so you're welcome to join me. Might as well, given you made all the effort, right? Just dim the light behind you there.

Okay. I always keep it simple to start with. Let's go downward dog.

Yeah. So, space your feet and begin bending forward now. That's it.

Everything goes to the midline. Drop the hat. Drop your gaze.

Yeah. Bring the feet apart a little further. Like mine.

Yeah. Perfect. Okay.

Work with me now. Let me feel your energy. Yeah.

Like that. Keep it positive. Let it flow to me.

Yeah. That's good. I wonder, have you heard of the Shiva Samhita? It's a classical text on yoga and tantra.

Hang on. Wait. Your posture.

Okay. From here, I'll hold you by the hips and you'll be a counterbalance to my upward stretch. Now, leaning forward, grab onto the back of your legs.

Keep bending. Drop as far forward as you can. Yeah.

Feel that stretch. Can you feel it releasing the lower lumbar? Yeah.

It's great energy. Okay. Now, hold your posture while I lean back and flex my spine.

Yeah. What was I saying? Oh, the Shiva Samhita.

You haven't heard of it? Well, well, there are a few existing copies of the original Sanskrit that have been discovered, but during the Victorian era, when the first English translation was published in India, like a number of key sections were censored by the translator because the tantric aspect of yoga was considered to have obscene practices. Did you know Lord Shiva had a little naughty streak? Okay.

Now, spread your feet further. Yeah. Hands on the ground.

That's it. I got your hips. Just bend right over for me.

Yeah. Hold that triangle position and feel my body acting as a counterweight. Yeah.

I feel it pulling all the tension out of your body. Yeah. That's it.

Can you imagine life without a bit of naughtiness though? You can't take the sensuality from yoga. Very few people talk about it, but it's there.

Myself, I've been trying to revive the Shiva in my own practice, but well, the Sanskrit word tantra derives from the verbal root tan, meaning to weave. So you need someone to weave into. Keep holding.

Can you feel the stretch? Yeah. What I mean is you have to work in a couple to explore the sensual side of Shiva.

So I was just going to suggest that since we're both here, we could practice some together. Just give me a second to show you what I mean. Hold that position.

Yeah. Leaning forward. So one aspect of this yoga is Ayurvedic touch.

Yeah. I'll begin by massaging some of the tension out. Still holding your waist, but using my fingers to rub your lower back here.

Yeah. Good. You feel that? It's more than just a stretch now, isn't it? It's deeper, more pleasurable.

Yeah. Now, if I lower my hands and hold your hips, I can apply pressure to the top of your glutes. Like this, see? Does it feel good? You would like more of it? Yeah.

Okay, you hold the position there. Good, good. Yeah.

Okay. Let me move to the top of your thighs so I can grab your lower glutes. That's right.

I'm not just squeezing your ass. I'm pinpointing right into the muscle there. That's it.

Feel that pressure. Let it relax your muscles, but stimulate your chakras. Yeah.

Can you feel the little tingles from the touch? Uh-huh. Now, your upper thighs.

Perfect. Hold the pose. Yeah.

Feel the stretch here while I'm running my fingers up and down. Uh-huh. Does that light up your nerve endings? Yeah.

Now, let my fingers curve into those inner thighs. Yeah. Good.

Just feel me caressing you there. Yeah. I can feel the warmth radiating out from your sacral chakra right here between your legs.

Oh, yeah. You're feeling a little warmed up now, huh? Great.

Well, let's lie down on the mat beside each other now. Come on. We're going to try a different position from the Shiva.

Yeah. Come to. Okay.

So, here, you bring your knees up to your chest with me and just begin by feeling awareness of your body. Yeah. Close your eyes.

Take some deep breaths. Take some deep breaths. Uh-huh.

Bring your knees right up. That feels good, right? Now, just rock side to side with me and bring some attention to your lower lumbar spine.

Yeah. Keep rocking. That's good.

And make circles with your feet, lubricating the joints. Good. Yeah.

And now, switch directions. Bring some awareness to your toes and point them. Yeah.

Now, flex them back. Flex them back. Yeah.

And point. And flex back again. Good.

I can feel a lot of energy from you. So much is flowing right into me. I think maybe our roles need to change now to complement each other.

Yeah. Okay. I want you to let your knees fall apart now and put them either side of your body.

Yeah. Now, take a moment while I arrange myself here. Yeah.

And feel your lower back slowly releasing that pressure. That's good. Yeah.

Feel the stretch in your glutes. Uh-huh. Now, relax a little and open your knees to your shoulders.

Yeah. Good, good. Keep those ankles apart and feel your pelvis opening.

Yeah. Now, I'll bring my thighs right up between yours and help you spread those pelvic floor muscles like this. Feel the weight of me? Yeah.

And do you feel them relaxing and opening? Uh-huh. Are you like me pushing up against you like that? Yeah.

You're no Victorian, are you? Uh-huh. You have a little naughty streak like Shiva, huh? Yeah.

Good. Because I do too. I mean, you know, we can't take this any further with our clothing on, right? Stay lying there but raise your arms above your head in the upward salute so I can pull everything off.

Up top. Yeah. Lift.

That's it. There we go. Don't look now but your nipples are very hard.

Mine too, see? Okay. Wrap your arms behind your knees and lift your hips up for me so I can pull your leggings and panties off.

Good. You're pretty bold, aren't you, to show me this intimate part of your body like this? Or are you just in a f*** it all kind of mood? A bit of both? Exactly.

How many times in our lives are we gonna have this moment back, right? Never. So live it.

Good. Let's do it. Now, as beautiful as your body is, it's time to stop thinking about it directly and let it weave into mine and just take the rest of this off.

Look at my body now. Not just that part. I feel right into the space of my whole body as I feel into the space of your body.

Yeah. Place your feet on the floor now, either side of me, while I kneel between your legs. Yeah.

Good. And now, as I lean forward, place your arms straight out and lock your elbows to resist me falling on top of you. Good.

And take the weight of my chest on your palms. Now, I put my arms out and I hold your shoulders and look me straight in the eye. You have beautiful irises, like little worlds.

I wonder what they've seen. What's happened on those little planets? You can hold me like this for a time, but you can't hold me up forever, can you? It's inevitable that gravity will hit, that eventually our worlds are gonna collide.

And let's bring them together gently there. Start to relax your elbows and I'll take my weight, a little of it. That's good.

Can you feel my weight transferring through my arms to your shoulders? Let me slowly collapse onto you, slowly. Move your hands around my sides.

Yeah, weave them around my body. Feel me sinking right into you. Yeah.

Feel the lower half of our bodies making contact. And now cross your hands right over and hold the wing muscles on my back. That's it.

Yeah, feel my pubic bone meeting yours. And this part of me between my legs, hardening, pressing against the soft part of you. Now feel my breath right at your throat.

Breathe right into my ear. Now feel our bodies collapsing together like stars colliding. The heat as you take me in.

There. Let's burn together. Yeah.

Pull me right inside. That's good. Wrap your legs around me and lock me into your body now.

Oh god. I'm not gonna thrust in and out yet. I just want to move gently in you.

Rolling my hips around so I open you up from all angles. Yeah, that's good. I can feel your body creating space for me.

Move your hips to circle my cock around inside you too. Feel how naturally it's pulling in and out a little. Tiny movements and the weight of each other's bodies is more than enough right now.

Hold tight to me. Do you feel your knee building? I need you to rock your hips backward and forward and grind your clit against me.

Yeah, grind onto me. Swallow this cock and rub it all through your body. Yeah, you're gonna come on me like this.

Yeah, like that. Can you feel how hard I am inside you? I can feel your fluid seeping out onto the head of my cock.

Rub that clit into me nice and fast now. Focus on the fire between us.