[ASMR] Vampire Has an Offer You Can't Refuse [Vampire Speaker] [Degenerate Gambler Listener]

Transcript

**Thunder** Lovely.

Hello? Human. Goodness, you were really stuck in there. Wasting away, staring at pretty lights. Well, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cut you off. You've been very naughty, Lovely.

Shh, now there's no use defending yourself. We know what we saw. Don't worry, you're not in too much trouble. But, you'll have to follow me. We have a special room for guests just like you.

Don't worry, I'll have someone come by to collect your chips and blood diamonds. So, relax a little, and stop making it harder than it has to be. It's not like we're going to kill you. But, if we were, no one would ever find the body. So behave.

There. Nice and quiet. Now we can get to the reason why you're here. You made three very big mistakes. You lied to a casino. You lied to vampires. You lied to casino vampires, Lovely. And now they're out for blood.

The rules are so very simple. You drop by, give us some blood. We give you some play money. Have some fun, lose it all. And you leave for eight weeks. Except, you didn't leave. You stayed. Even got fake IDs so you could keep coming back.

How many pints down are you? Three? Four? You know the rules are for your safety, right? We'd love nothing more than for you to drain yourself dry, but dead bodies make for bad press. You're nearly halfway there yourself. Eyes like a ghoul, skin like a corpse. You must be so tired. But still, you continue to play.

I can't tell if you're desperate or addicted. But luckily for you, casinos are fantastic at enabling bad decisions. Truth is, all your rule-breaking made you really easy to track down. It usually takes us months to find out where a bottle of blood came from.

We do that every now and then, whenever a particular healthy donor graces our plate. We email them a few coupons, send targeted ads, that kind of thing. But you? We're just so happy you're such a degenerate, coming here every day for half a week.

We want to make you a VIP. It comes with a fancy black card and everything. There are a few cons. But just think about the benefits. Complimentary room. Complimentary food. Healthcare. 5,000 a month as allowance. You get this. A 30 times payout whenever you choose to donate.

The standard rate is, what, $2,400 a pint. $2,400 a pint. You'll get 72k chuple with. Of course, all of it is in blood diamond chips. You still have to win to get your hands on some real money. But something tells me you're in it for the love of the game, not the cash prizes.

All you have to do is give us some of that liquid gold. And we're not talking Velveeta. Your blood is the stuff of legends, myths even. You're the one in a billion. By all accounts, it's normal human blood, so no one knows why supernaturals go crazy for it. It's like catnip.

Apparently, it's not addictive, but you'll definitely miss its presence. Not like anyone would know, the last one on the record was in the 12th century. Who knows how many have been...disappeared. All so one person could keep the taste to themselves.

The higher-ups thought about kidnapping you too. Just one sip and they were ready to die for another taste of you. Eventually, Ledis decided to make you a VIP. The only VIP. Because after all, a sad cow makes sad milk.

Though you might have to do a bit more than just hampering. Lovely. Everyone wants appointments. A mug warmer can only do so much to replicate the human body. It's missing a few key things. Like how a heart races when you sink your teeth in. How someone squirms and writhes as you wrap your lips around their neck. The gasp as fresh blood fills your mouth.

It's completely different from sipping it out of a wine glass. You should see the boardroom. They're all dueling to see who gets to have you first. I'd join them, but I can't afford to. Not a single drop.

I've hired a few here and there when bagged blood gets stale, but they obviously can't compare. Even now I feel electric just being near you. Between you and me, I've thought about kidnapping you myself. Just leaving those elder vampires out to dry, lest I have you trapped in my basement.

They'd definitely try to kill me. I'd have to move out, get a new job. But it'd be worth it. Even if I could hide away, I've never been very good at being patient. I think I might go crazy being stuck so close to you.

And I'd take a sip and tell myself I was done. Then I'd take another and another. And by the end of it, I'd end up with a corpse and no more blood. What do you think, lovely? Would you rather be their pet or mine? I'm only joking. Mostly.

I'd love it if you came with me, but I doubt I could keep you long. Werewolves would sniff us out in a heartbeat. You'd be much better off here. The most powerful vampires in the world waiting on you, hand and foot. You'd get a tracker put on you. They'd feed you vitamins, try to encourage you to work out, bodyguards. That kind of thing.

They want to keep you alive as long as possible. Your blood will take hold of them and they'll resent its absence. I'd take the deal if I were you. Not because of the benefits, but because of the consequences if you don't. They found the most precious thing on Earth. They won't let you go.

And even if you somehow got away, I'm not the only one who'd love to catch you. Thanks for watching!