ASMR - Bitch Barber Gives You Men haircut

Transcript

Do you have a staring problem? What do you want? Well, did you sign in already? Okay, well then whoever you had your appointment with is going to take you You didn't make an appointment You know, we're like really busy right like this barbershop you have to You have to make an appointment.

Have you ever been to a barbershop before? Okay, well then you obviously know the rules It was an emergency you're getting married Lucky girl Sir, please don't raise your voice at me. Okay, I don't know what to tell you you Didn't make an appointment.

We are all currently very busy This is our busiest time of year So I'm just gonna have to ask you to wait until someone is ready. I Don't care that you have to be at your reception in 30 minutes This is not your world. It doesn't revolve around you I can't stop what I'm doing and I'm very busy Trying to win these concert tickets so I can cut your hair Sir these are Beyonce tickets Beyonce I don't even know what your name is Why should I help you You Please don't cry.

That's really gross. Okay, okay You know what How about I just cut your hair and you can Promise me that you will get out of my face Great Okay, so you signed in let me see Okay Okay, so you signed in great let me look at it Okay, okay, I'll do that for you I Enjoy tapping on my equipment Before I get started It's sort of a ritual for me So if you don't like it, then you can just get out hush Within here my equipment. Yeah, I don't need much for you Do You care if I wear gloves All of a sudden you care so much but you couldn't make an appointment You knew you were going I knew you were getting married I Guess was last-minute an emergency.

Did someone like cut your hair while you were sleeping or something? Oh They did That explains a lot I thought you just came in here Well, I thought you just normally looked like that Okay So you said you wanted a what Okay, well, you know what I think I Think we should cut your hair even shorter because You know what, I think I'm just going to cut your hair even shorter than that because look at this This is too long You know, that's gross. No one wants to be marrying someone.

Well With that much hair Just makes people wonder, you know You don't want that I'm helping you out. I'm actually being a friend. Okay, so Help me help you Just like that.

I just want you to Maybe stop talking for the rest of this time. Okay, just a little bit less of your big mouth Look here, buddy I'm the barber You're the client. I cut and you sit capisce Okay All right You have such a weird shape head Yeah, you have such a weird shaped head Why is it like this Yep, I could tell you that dropped on your head So Who's the lucky lady, huh?

She's got to wake up to this every day Hmm yeah, she sounds amazing Oh my This hair I just it just feels so, you know what let me just first Do you ever wash your hair? I mean it's kind of like gross Oh You came back from your bachelor party Is that where you got your new haircut from That's funny Well, that's what you get If you wanted to get married Only goes downhill from here So your hairline is just really messed up I'm gonna do you a solid and Line that out for you I Wouldn't want whoops Your hairline is just gonna go further back now We're just going to Try to get some attention away from well the rest of your face Where are you supposed to be getting married? I Heard the parking lot is like atrocious.

Oh Really Do you have any food is there anyone catering? Yeah, I might stop by for my lunch What do you mean I wouldn't be invited You already paid it for the food well, how many plates did you pay for That's it and you can't afford for me to wow you're so cheap Could you even afford this haircut Okay I'm taking your money I'm taking your word for it, but if you can't I'm gonna mess up your hairline even more You Wow you owe me so much like I just saved your whole marriage You can't start rushing me, okay You're the one who wanted a haircut and needed all this to be done. I think you need a chill It's probably going to like run off anyways, you know Always hear like those stories, you know They always regret it they always have cold feet and then you have another case of the runaway bride so if you want I can actually Give you like a whole new look.

I mean it's going to take an hour, but I'm sure you have that time to spare Probably be saving you some face in front of your family and hers No, you really think she's going to stay with you And commit the rest of her entire life with you Wow, you really are different, aren't you? You're bleeding well Put this glove over it just hold it there for now See you need to stop talking so much They're gonna make me give you a cut You don't want to be bleeding on her dress You don't want to be bleeding on her dress I Am trying so hard to salvage your hair But it's like nearly impossible When it looks like that You Know when you take pictures and look back at this day, you're gonna see this haircut And you're gonna think of me so Make sure you tell all your little groomsmen and all your other family now where to get their haircuts by me the best Okay, okay, I'm cutting Jesus I Don't know why you're such in a rush Dude I already told you there's no such thing as a happily ever after Okay Hey, do you want me to fix your eyebrows? They're really bad like like gross You look gross If my you know, if you're gonna have pictures and people are gonna look back at you at this day I don't want them to ask where you got your hair done Because they're going to say why would your barber let you walk out with those?

caterpillars on your head And frankly, I don't care about you, but I care about my work So I'm gonna do your eyebrows Well, that's going to be 15 more dollars you cheapskate Look I already started so You're gonna have to pay you're gonna have to get used to this. You're getting married Yeah, you're gonna have to get used to this. Okay? You're so selfish I don't understand why anyone would want to marry you I can barely understand the last 20 minutes that I've been here with you How could someone want to be with you for the rest of their life?

Like seriously? Look buddy, I'm your only friend.