Angry British Chef Helps You With Dinner

Transcript

Hi. Oh wow. You look fantastic.

No, I guess I'm only used to seeing you in your chef's clothes. Yeah, I thought I'd bring a bottle of something. I mean, you wouldn't tell me what we were having, but I took a punt.

Speaking of dinner, I can't smell anything cooking. Well, if you need a hand in the kitchen, then I'm. ..

No, no, it's fine. Let me take a look. Okay, what are we working with here? Beef, parma ham, mustard, pastry, a blender, mushrooms.

Let me guess. Beef Wellington. No, no, your instincts and your taste are good.

That's why you still have a job. Let me just get my jacket off and we'll get started. Get some oil in that pan, get it heated up, and I will get this meat seasoned.

You should know that I always slap the meat before I get going. There we go. Hey, hey.

What do you think you're doing? And to think, in that dress, it was your tits I was worrying about falling out, not your brain. Are you trying to jeopardise an otherwise nice sear on this beautiful, gorgeous cut of beef? Come on now, you're a big girl, you know how a fucking Maillard reaction works.

No, you're right, we're in your house. Sorry, home with me a little bit, but wait until that pan's a bit hotter. Right, that's ready now.

Grab the meat and pop it in. You fucking doughnut. You lay it away from yourself.

Get to the sink. There you go. Hold that under there for a bit.

Fuck's sake, I'd say don't quit your day job, but this is your day job. We're not at work right now. We're just cooking dinner, so calm the fuck down.

There, that should do it. Let's get back over to the pan. Okay, that's coming up nicely.

Get it on all sides. We don't want any of this being anemic and grey out the other side. The fuck am I talking about? You know this.

You happy with that sear? Yes, who? Yes, chef is right.

If you're going to make me work while I'm here, well, we might as well have the proper chain of command. All right, get it over here. Where's your brush? Where's your brush? For the fucking mustard.

Yeah, there you go. Scurry off and get it. Have you completely lost your fucking mind? No, we're not going to eat it right now.

It's still fucking raw. You need to get your head screwed on properly before mine explodes. There, now while we're doing the mushrooms and that's resting, the mustard will seep into the meat.

God, you're fucking arse while you're pacing around all flustered. Get over here. Come on.

Look at me. What's next? Congratulations.

It seems like one of your brain cells is still working. Yes, it's the mushroom duck cell. Mushrooms, blender, go.

You know, with you working me up like this, we're gonna have to find a way to blow off steam. Come on, pulse that a couple more times. It's not even.

There you go. Hey, what are you waiting for? Pan.

Good, good. Watch the pan. You need the water to cook off, but not so much that it's dry.

You got that? Good. Remember what happened last time I had you like this? You leaned over a pan.

You think about that at all? Because I do. I think I'll go for your cunt instead of your arsehole this time.

Get down here. Keep your eyes on the pan. Jesus Christ.

Oh, no underwear. Naughty gal. Just what did you think we'd be getting up to? Concentrate on the pan, not my hands on your hips or this.

Finally, some good fucking food. Those mushrooms better not be overcooking while my face is buried in your cunt. And don't be a greedy little slut and let them overcook so that I won't stop doing this.

Good job. Let me take a look. Oh, no, your face need a little bit longer.

All these seconds you could have been getting your cunt eaten for. It's okay. It's okay.

Look, look, they're ready. Right. Take that off the heat.

There's a good gal. Where's your plastic wrap? Hmm? Hey, where is your plastic wrap? Don't look at me like that.

Where is your plastic wrap? In the drawer? Or why wasn't it out with the rest of the stuff? Did you forget you'd need it? Were you going to wrap this up and put it straight in the oven without the prerequisite 20 minutes in the fridge?

Answer me honestly. I won't be annoyed. You fucking donut.

So you were going to serve fucking shoe leather for dinner. Is that right? Obviously wrapped in a lovely mushroom duxelles and what I assume is reasonably good quality pastry.

Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you. Plastic wrap, get it out now. God, that fucking arse will be the death of me.

Right, get that rolled out. Come on, Parma ham next. You know this.

And we spread on that mushroom duxelles. Nicely done. You'd think you're a chef or something.

Beef on there and roll it up. Nice and tight in the cling film. Twist it off at the ends.

There we go. Now, that's in the fridge for 20 minutes. So since we've got some time, why don't you make yourself useful? Get on your knees.

Open wide, tongue out. There we go. Oh, yeah, fucking take it.

Oh, fuck. Oh, this is what I fucking needed. Oh, fuck.

I'm just gonna grab a bunch of your hair and Oh, don't fucking look away from me. Look up at me. Fucking eye contact while I fuck your throat.

Oh, fuck. Yeah, that's it. You're so fucking good at taking that.

Hey, tell me something. Were you making mistakes because you're flustered and thinking about this? Or were you making mistakes to stress me out so that I need to do this to you? You know what? I don't actually care.

Back on my cock. Fuck. Fuck yes.

Fuck yes, take it. Take the fucking cock. Fuck, that's a good shush off.

Fuck, that's good. Hey, hey, look at me. You're okay.

You're okay. Get up. Bend over this table right fucking now.

Let me have another look at this ass. Fucking hell. You know what? I don't know how I hold myself back from fucking you every day on the line.

Is that what you want? Do you want me to fuck you? Well, if you're gonna get exactly what you want, I want you to work for it a little.

Get back up. I'm gonna lay down on the table, and you are going to show me just how much you deserve to be bent over and fucked. Well, obviously, by bouncing up and down on my cock.

Come on. Get up on the table and squat down on my cock. Wait, stop.

Not even another inch lower. Look at me. You know, earlier, that was a pretty shameful display of kitchen abilities from someone that I know can do much fucking better.

So I think I made an apology. That's right, I'm not gonna let you. Okay, shut up, shut up, fucking donkey.

Get down on my cock now. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

I fucking missed that. Oh, fuck. Careful of the rolling pin.

It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. We can clean that later. Oh, fuck.

Fuck, yes. Fuck, yes. You are really fucking selling your abilities now.

Where is this eager little sous-chef? Just a few minutes ago. Oh, fuck.

I want you to play with your clut. Yeah, I want you to play with your clut. And make yourself a fucking comer on my cock.

That's how I'll know you deserve to be fucking filled up by me. You want that, don't you? You want to be fucking dripping my cum while we're eating Beef Wellington.

Fuck. Oh, fuck, yes. Just like that.

Keep playing with that clut of yours. Cute, but no. I'm not going to fucking cum.

Until I have you bent over this table. I'm taking you from behind. Fuck.

That's it, that's it. I can feel you getting close. I can feel you gripping me like a fucking vice.

Oh, that's so fucking good. That's so fucking good. That's it, that's it.

Look at me, look at me. Come for me, come for me right now. Come on my fucking cock.

Yes. Fucking cum, fucking cum. Cum, cum, cum.

Fuck. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes.

I didn't tell you to stop fucking bouncing on my cock. Keep going. I want to savour all of those little fucking spasms.

Fuck, yes. Fuck, yes. Alright, get off and get bent over.

There we go. You just stick that ass out. Fuck's sake.

Get ready. You've earned this. Fuck, yes.

Fuck. Fuck. Fucking take it.

That's a good sous-chef. Oh, fuck. Tell me.

Tell me while I pound you across the table. Oh, fuck. Tell me.

Why are you being called out in the kitchen? Gets you so fucking desperate. Fuck, because I could have done this to you from the moment I walked through the door.

But I just like toying with you. I'm getting you all fucking bent out of shape for me. Oh, fuck.

Fuck. Yes, that's right. That's right.

Just fucking take it. Oh, you feel so fucking good around my cock.