An Anniversary of New Beginnings💘x

Transcript

I really can't remember my initial thought when I saw him for the first time. Given the circumstances now, that thought probably should have been about the butterflies in my stomach or why I was holding my breath at the sight of him. It wasn't.

It couldn't have been anything so dramatic or remarkable, because if it had then I would certainly remember it. What I do remember, at least vaguely, is the annoying frustration of letting my projects get so far behind. An artist who manages it so that their love's passion can pay the rent is fortunate indeed, but like any other career there are deadlines and commitments which, despite my best efforts, slip to a bit overdue.

My previous model, short-lived as he was, had managed to miss more sittings than he had been present for, and even when he did somehow miraculously appear, was incessantly glued to whatever tweet or snap or other trendy app of the week he prioritised over a paying job. His liaison fair attitude toward paying the bills also impacted mine, so I found myself once again searching for someone to simply show up, pose as requested, and accept meager payment for their punctuality and attendance. Fortunately, a dear friend of mine who had listened to more than one of my rants about the inability to give away money to practically anyone in exchange for simply showing up and being sketched, recommended someone that she had previously employed.

She began extolling his virtues and listing off the physical features that made him the perfect subject. To be honest, I nodded and smiled, but really only wanted his contact information and assurance that he wasn't yet another in the line of no-help-at-all's. Had I only known where her recommendation would lead.

A couple of days on, he rang the doorbell to my flat. He was early, which I was definitely not used to, and offered a warm smile and a hand as I unceremoniously yanked open the door, phone at my ear. I was 15 minutes into being placed on hold and determined not to hang up and lose my spot on the line, so I quickly gave his hand a squeeze, more than shake, really, and nodded for him to enter, while trying desperately not to dislodge the handset from behind my ear and shoulder.

I heard him ease the door closed behind him, and I motioned for him to follow. Once we were both in the sitting room, I absently gestured at a chair by the window. Actually, I guess that I should go back and correct what I said earlier.

I do remember what my initial thought was now. I was supremely irritated that he dared to show up earlier and I was going to have to hang up from my call, losing the time I'd already spent on hold. I know, what you're thinking, never satisfied.

But if I'm going to tell this, I should be accurate, right? So I did, in fact, hang up the phone and turn my attention to my new muse. We chatted about the job, discussed the pay, a bit about his experience.

But all the while I couldn't help but study the physical features that my friend had been so enamoured with. Somewhere around his recounting of how he came to know our mutual friend, my eyes met his for the first time, and the artist in me immediately noticed the tinges of gold flecks catching the light in contrast to the otherwise emerald green depths. The woman in me, well, I pushed those aside because this was business after all.

Never mind the ruggedly handsome features, jawline chiselled from granite, or the shoulders that were rippling under the fabric of his poleye. His hands, a bit worn but obviously strong, tanned perfectly in contrast to the black slacks that acted as a perfect backdrop, almost as if he had folded them in his lap to be highlighted. Purely professional interest, I assured myself.

I asked about his availability and warned him that I had a feverish schedule planned to catch up in the coming weeks. But he shrugged and simply flashed another warm grin, reassuring me that he was up for it. That was our very first meeting.

Not much fanfare or dramatic tension, we agreed to meet in the nearby park for the first session. He got up again and offered his hand, which I took much more consciously this time, and I walked him out. I now had a model and a ton of work to do.

A few days later I made my way down to the block to the location we had chosen. In a striking turn of luck he was there, perched on a bench waiting for me under the midday sun, early again. That afternoon I got more work done than I had in months.

I really can't tell you precisely how long we were there, but the last ten joules a day were receding when we said our goodbyes, and I packed my supplies to head home. From there he never missed a single date, a sitting I should say. Late evenings to catch the shadows just right across his chest, or early mornings with his marvellous hands posed against the backlight of a framed window.

Even night-time forays to the lakes that I could paint the haze of the moon reflected in his eyes. He always came through. Requests and commissions continued an incessant march into my to-do list, and days, then weeks, and finally months passed.

Our familiarity and friendship grown with each one that went by. He began to stay and help me pack up. In displays of chivalry that I imagined long dead he would protect me from the summer rain with an umbrella and carry my satchel.

His feigned indignation and crafty smile when I would half-heartedly protest became a feature of our time that I look forward to. The chats that we enjoyed about anything, everything, or nothing at all as he walked me to my door. Another of those gestures that I eventually learned better than to argue with.

It all felt comforting, comfortable, natural. Sometimes while performing my final touches I would catch him gazing intently from the corner of his eye. Often, however, he wasn't inspecting my work or even acknowledging its existence.

He was usually transfixed on me, only averting his eyes when I looked up, almost looking as if he'd been caught. Even tonight as I wait for my chivalrous muse to ring my doorbell once again, I'm uncertain of the meaning of his gaze and even more uncertain that what I'd planned is a good idea. Soon enough I'll find out.

Candles are lit, the room washed with softly dancing shadows and the aroma of a meal that I know he loves. My dress and shoes are newly purchased for specifically this occasion and I'm wearing the necklace that he gave me when I sold my first piece earlier this year at the gallery. All that's missing from this, our first anniversary, is his presence so that I can let him know what this anniversary truly means to me.

Almost as if willing him to arrive and rouse me from my reflection. The chime of the doorbell makes me aware that it's too late to turn back. This is it.

Good evening, I'm glad you could make it. Come in. How was your week? Huh? No idea what you mean.

I'm not being dodgy. We have dinner together a lot. Why is inviting you over tonight any different? About how I'm dressed.

Do you really need to get this close to examine my dress? It's a sundress, nothing special. Actually, it is new and I'm playing with my hair now.

What on earth has got into you? That was not at all how I saw her. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was perfect.

I mean, absolutely perfect. But how did. ..

I mean, I planned this. Wait, wait, wait. I need to know something first.

For the moment that I opened the door, you seemed different, more confident, flirtatious. What are you not saying? Of course I remembered.

To be honest, that's why I asked you to come by. We had a candlelit meal. It's gonna be cold now.

And when I dressed up and rehearsed all of the things I wanted to say in the mirror for hours, I wanted to let you know exactly how I felt, how much more I wanted. I didn't think that you would even remember today being special, or if it even was special to you. Show me how special then.

Catch. Oh, you wanna go down there, huh? Okay.

That's pretty kind of special. Oh my god. Yeah, that's special.

Come here. I really need to feel you inside me. Oh my, it's so warm.

Please. I've waited so long for this. I don't wanna wait.

Yes. No. I want you.

Oh my god. I'm ready. I'm ready.

No. Deeper. You can't hurt me.

I don't care if you do. Do you want to tease me? Oh my god.

Oh my god. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm ready. Please. Oh my god.

Yes. I'm ready. Come with me.