A Whirlwind Romance

Transcript

The governor has officially declared a state of emergency as hurricane Ian makes its way up the gulf coast. Highways are backed up for hours as residents try to evacuate and it is imperative that everyone is well stocked when it comes to food, water, and the basic essentials. Now we ask that you continue and do not pause this broadcast, otherwise your life may go to shit.

However. .. Hey, excuse me, sorry if this is weird, but are you waiting for a Quaker wedding? Oh, awesome, okay, yeah, I wasn't totally sure if I had the right place.

Um, yeah, so I've got my stuff. You mind, uh, you mind popping the trunk just so I could put in this body bag? Yeah.

Oh, do I, do I have the wrong Krexel stat? Is this. ..

I'm just messing with you, yeah, no, I'm evacuating in the same direction. Yeah, you got the right guy, okay. Here let me put my stuff in the bag.

You have, like, a serious layer of grime on your windshield here. Yeah, I'll just, I'll go grab that, like, whatever the fuck it's called, the windshield wiping thing, and I'll be, I'll be right back. I'll scrub this down.

No, no, if it was just a tropical storm, then yeah, I'd say I'm just trying to be a gentleman, but we're in a Cat 4, so I'm basically saving our lives right now. Yeah, I don't know how you got any visibility through this. Oh, let me check.

Wallet, keys, cocaine, yeah, yeah, I got everything, let's go. Yeah. No, no, I'm joking, yeah, yeah, I do that a lot.

The joking, not the cocaine. Yeah, that's, I save that for occasions. Hey, thanks again, I really appreciate you doing this.

I know you're, like, going out on a limb here, just picking up some random guy online, and, like, you really didn't have to, but this is actually a massive help to me, so thank you. No, I know, but me splitting gas money doesn't really compare with you driving me for the next six hours, so yeah, like, especially when I have COVID, and I mentioned that, right? I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

No, no, I don't have COVID, no, just severe diarrhea. But, as a token of my appreciation, I'll let you have some of my stash. Here.

Alright, I've got Snickers, Milky Way, Three Musketeers, so just pick your favorite, and no, if, okay, then pick your second favorite, I want that one. Oh, hey. Robbing me already? You are cunning.

Well, enjoy it while you can, because I will be pressing charges in Jacksonville. I'm storming into the first police station we see, and I'mma be like, Officer, do not be fooled by her charm. I demand that you use the full power of the law to reclaim the $2.17 of damages, but more importantly, the emotional distress that she has brought on me and my family.

I'll be as dramatic as I want to be. You brought this onto yourself when you chose to steal my favorite chocolate bar. Shut up and go to sleep? Oh my god, are you sure you want that? Because this is me in my quiet mode.

Yeah, I'm an aggressive snorer. You know exactly what that sounds like. What, you've never slept with a man who's an aggressive snorer before? No, no, no, no, I didn't mean it like that.

I didn't mean it like that. I'm a taken man, so no. Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

I'll stop. You're right, this is going to be a long car ride, and I should make myself a more tolerable presence. So yeah, you want me to be real with you, I can be real with you.

Thank you for driving me, and I do mean that, because my girlfriend, she left with the car a few days earlier, but I'd stay behind and board everything up, and yeah, all my other friends left town, I'm the straggler, I'm the lone wolf behind, so I'm glad I don't have to do this alone. My name is Quake, by the way. Yeah, my mom calls me that.

Yeah, what's your name? Well, it's nice to officially meet you. Yo, what the fuck? Don't actually shake my hand.

Both hands on the steering wheel. I offer my hand as a test of your judgment, and now you show me just how dangerous you really are. I might be better off sticking out of the storm.

Yeah, well, I've given you a window into my life, and so, what's your story? You are absolutely ridiculous. How is any of what I said more TMI than all that stuff you share? No, that is.

.. Wait, wait, pass me some chips. Okay, no, two completely different things.

Not the same at all. All I did was tell you about my first time having an erection, okay? And you told me about your first time masturbating, and not only that, you went into excruciating detail.

No, I got the full three arc ply, okay? You got the exposition, the fucking rising action, and oh my god, you did not leave out the climax. No, no, no, no, shush, shush, shush.

My story was about an innocent boy's changing body. All of that shit that you described getting off to, okay? I cannot repeat if I want to go to heaven, no.

And yet, I don't kink shame despite how much you are making me regret that policy, okay? I still accepted your story unconditionally with only a modicum of judgment. And so you cannot spin this around and tell me that my shit was too much, okay? I'm not telling you what I get off to.

No, what the fu- Okay, alright, it's normal fantasies. Yes, normal fucking fantasies. No, I am not going to elaborate.

Compared to what you said, I think normal encapsulates it thoroughly. It is completely fair, 100%. You volunteered that information, okay? Look, you hit the point in your life where your number one priority was to share your scandalous fantasies with me.

And I know, I know we've been driving together for six hours, but I'm just not there yet, okay? So you're just going to have to respect that. No, that's what a number one priority is.

You decided in that moment that the thing that had to be done was unearthing all of the fucking- Okay, okay, hang on, hang on. I'm getting a text from my girlfriend, one second. Oh.

Hey, I'm going to leave a voice note real quick, okay? Hey babe, I know you're with your friends and you haven't seen them in a long time. But I just want to let you know we made it out of the storm and I'm going to book a room and settle for the night.

But yeah, I'd really appreciate a call back. And yeah, you can tell me about your trip and I'm excited to hear about it. And I just want to let you know I'm safe.

So yeah, give me a call back when you can. Hmm? Yeah, she's out with friends.

So she used up all her vacation days. So when she heard the forecast last weekend, she drove out to see them and told her job that she was evacuating. Yeah, well, she likes to call it being resourceful, so.

Honestly, it's fine. It wasn't that hard to board up our place. It's just.

.. I don't know. We've been together for a long time, but sometimes I wonder if she's still invested in, like.

.. I don't know. It's just.

.. What am I saying? Okay, now we're actually getting TMI.

So yeah, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah, jacking off. Well, I'd love to tell you what I jack off to, but looks like we've just arrived.

Yep, yeah, that's our motel right there on the right. Oh, man, that fucking sucks. Yeah, so you'll just have to wait until our drive back tomorrow.

All right. Oh, fuck. I am ready to stretch my legs.

Yeah. Hey, you go ahead and book your room. I'm going to wipe down the car, and I'll book mine in a minute.

Oh, no, you've been driving the last six hours. I owe you this much. And a whole lot more.

Shut up and go book your room. Oh, hey, I just finished wiping down the mats, and, uh, uh-oh. What's up? They gave you the last room? Fuck, okay.

Um, all right, I could, uh, damn. Here, I'll look up if there's something nearby, and, uh, yeah. Oh, my God, that would be a massive help.

Oh, thank you, thank you. Yeah. Are you sure, though? I, like, I know we just spent the last six hours confessing our whole life story, but we've still known each other for, like, half a day, so I would totally understand if you're not comfortable sharing a room with me.

I, like, worst-case scenario, I can just sleep in the car. It's for one night, and, uh. Oh, thank you.

Thank you, thank you. Yeah, I, I really do appreciate it. And, uh, yeah, and I'll split the room, of course.

Um, yeah, here, let me grab my bag. All right, what's the room number? 68.

Fuck, damn, so close. All right, yeah, this one here. Okay.

Oh, shit. Yeah, there's only one bed. Um, I'll just, uh, I'll, I'll sleep on the floor.

It's fine. Um, no, no, there's no way I'm making you do that. You've already done so much for me.

You've offered to split the room, and, yeah, it just, it'd be, like, it's fine, it's fine. Um, yeah, because, like, it's fine. Um, yeah, these blankets look super thick, and I could just bundle them up.

Uh, yeah, and I'm, I'm sure you don't need all seven of those pillows, so I'll be okay. You can go ahead and use the bathroom first, and, uh, I'll start setting up here. All right, I've, uh, I've almost got it all set up, and, oh.

Uh, you're sleeping in that? Oh, no, whatever you're comfortable in. No, I'm the one in your space, so, yeah, do whatever you want, and, uh, once the lights are off, it's no difference to me.

So, uh, I'll, um, I'll, I'll go get cleaned up, and if you would help, like, yeah, yeah, just two pillows is fine, and, um, uh, yeah, I'll, I'll be right back. Yeah, yeah, it does feel good to have freshened up. Uh, let me slip into this real quick.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, this is actually a lot comfier than I thought it would be. Nah, it feels just like a sleeping bag.

Um, all right, so, what time is checkout? Okay, yeah, I should be up well before then. Um, yeah, I'm, I'm ready to knock out, too, but, um, before that, I just, I wanted to say, like, thanks a lot for today, and, um, yeah, despite the circumstances today, it really felt like a breath of fresh air, and, yeah, but, but for real, uh, I really enjoyed all of our conversations, and, um, I don't know, I feel like we have some witty banter, but, uh, really, it's just, it's more than that.

Yeah, I feel like we opened up to each other a lot, and, uh, it's, like, never too serious, but at the same time, like, can be real in our own way, and, uh, it's made me look forward to our drive tomorrow, and part of me wishes that, um, you've been a lot of fun, and, uh, great, great friends, so, um, thank you. Uh, thanks, I'm glad you feel the same way. Uh, alright, lights off.

Hm? What? Yeah.

Yeah, you're right. I, I didn't think of that. Yeah, it is a little dangerous to be sleeping under the window so close.

Yeah, especially when the storm has not died down yet. Um, yeah. Yeah, I agree, I think it makes sense for me to join you in the bed.

Um, yeah, safety first, that's why we're up here, so, um, yeah, here, let me, uh, one second, let me put my clothes back on, because I got undressed under the bedsheets here. Uh, hm? Oh, you sure you don't mind? Um, okay, well, if it's no difference to you, then I'll just, uh, I'll stay in my boxers and join you now.

Alright, um, lights off? Yeah, okay. Goodnight.

Hm. Oh, sorry, I, I didn't mean to graze you. Yeah, are you good? Do you have more room on your side? I'm, I'm all the way up on the edge here.

No? Okay, well, if the bed's that small, then I guess it's okay if we touch a little bit. Yeah.

I'll try not to move too much. Alright. Hm? Um, I'm good, but yeah, if you're chilly, I can get up and go turn on the heater.

Yeah, you're right, we, uh, we're already comfortable, so um, no, I don't mind, you can lean into me. Yeah, if you think it would help, I mean, I don't think it makes sense for you to stay chilly for no reason, so yeah, yeah, and, and penguins do this, yeah, and they're mature about it, it's natural, so yeah, it's a good way to stay warm, uh, yeah, yeah, just until you warm up, and then we can go to sleep, okay? Mm-hmm.

How's that? Is that better? Yeah, put my arm around you? Um, well, do you think it'll help you warm up faster? Okay, well, then we'll be able to fall asleep sooner, so, mm-hmm.

Yeah. This is comfier for me, too, so I think it's for the best. No, no, of course, like, we're not spooning, like, it's similar, but anyone would understand the difference given the circumstances, so yeah.

How are you feeling now? Okay, well, we'll give it another minute or two, and if you're still cold, then, um, I probably should just go turn on the heater. Uh, but yeah, in a minute, though.

Mm-hmm. Mm! Wait, what are you doing? You're, you're grinding into me.

Yeah, you're grinding into me. No, you, you don't have to stop, I mean, if the friction will help you warm up faster, then there's no need to drag this out, right? So, yeah, because if you stopped grinding into me, then you wouldn't heat up as fast, and we would just be dragging this out, and that would be wrong, so yeah, you can grind into me, and yeah, I can grind back into you, too, that'll be more efficient, and then we can get some rest, so.

Mm! Mm. Mm-hmm.

You're, you're getting turned on. Yeah, um, me, too, um, but you can probably feel that, given how thinly dressed we are. Um, I mean, it makes sense, we're, we're both too attractive people, and touching each other this much, uh, it's only natural, so, yeah.

But, like, if arousal gets your body all warm and flushed, then we're both transparent, and no, it's like, just from the physics of it, and nothing else, then I think it makes sense to keep going. Yeah, it's just, just so we can finally go to sleep.