A pirate captain accidentally released the Kraken

Transcript

Damn it. Oh, what the hell. Get me out of this net.

That's better. Hey, what's the big idea? You think you can just throw your net out into the ocean wherever you want? What's with that look on your face? Why do you look so shocked? Well, yeah, of course I can talk.

I'm not stupid. Now that guy over there, trying to bite his own face. He looks stupid.

What? You don't know what I am? Oh, let's see if you can guess.

I'm feared across the seven seas. I'm notorious for taking down entire ships by myself. Davy Jones is my keeper.

Oh, now you get it. Aye, that's me. I'm the mighty Kraken.

Well, don't everybody cower at once? Anyway, who exactly might you be? Well, you can't be all that famous.

I've never heard of you. And I've met a lot of captains. Well, I say met, it's more eaten.

Don't look so scared, captain. If I wanted to eat you, you'd be dead already. I could drag this whole ship down to Davy Jones' locker at a moment's notice.

Maybe I will. I'll have to teach you not to trap me in a net. Hmm.

I'll tell you what. I'll let you, your ship, and your crew go free. But in return, you have to let me play with you a little.

It's been so long since I got to have fun with a human. Mermaids can be nice and all, but they're so stuck up. Humans are a lot more fun.

So, what do you say, captain? Shall we head to your quarters and negotiate? I thought so.

Okay. Now that we're alone, I have a little confession to make. I'm not really gonna destroy your ship or do anything to hurt you.

I can't. Not unless Davy Jones orders me to. In fact, I actually let myself get caught on purpose.

I was telling the truth when I said I wanted to play with a human. But if you don't want to, I'll just slip out through a window and you'll never see me again. You can tell your whole crew how you were the brave captain who fought off the mighty Kraken.

Wait, you'll actually let me? Now I'm wondering what in Neptune's beard is wrong with you. I mean, you see all these tentacles I have, right? Well, I'm not gonna complain.

Let's get started, shall we? First things first, I'm gonna lift you up in the air. I want you powerless against whatever I do to you.

And you definitely aren't gonna need these clothes. Much better. Now get ready, Captain.

I'm about to shiver your timbers. I'm gonna take the suction cups on my tentacles and use them on your nipples. I like watching your eyes roll back like that.

Humans are so fun. Your bodies are all way more sensitive than the mermaids. Especially you seafaring folks.

Spending weeks at a time on the ocean with no pleasurable company. And polishing your sword can only do so much, can it? Looks like all that stimulation in your nipples has got you at half mast already.

Let's help it along, shall we? Open your mouth, Captain. Come on, don't be shy.

Or do I need to say it in pirate speak for you to understand? Open your filthy mouth, you bilge rat. That's better.

Now take this in your mouth. There you go. It's not so bad, right? Now if I just put it in a little deeper.

That's what I'm after. Looks like throating my tentacle has hoisted your colors. What do you say, Captain? Should I Moby your dick? All right.

You can't speak when you're choking like a drowning sailor. Tell you what. I'll just wrap a tentacle around it and you moan once if you want me to start moving.

Oh, well that was fast. I think you might be kind of messed up in the head, Captain. What would your crew think if they could see you like this? All right, all right.

I'll start moving it. Yeah, that's good, isn't it? Your eyes are glazing over already.

Don't get too lost in it, Captain. I still have one more tentacle free. And I think you know where it's about to go.

Brace yourself, Captain. I'm about to plunder your booty. Oh, wow.

You're practically screaming. Or you would be if you didn't have something using your throat like a tortuga whore. Oh, you're even starting to cry.

Should I stop? That put some panic in your eyes, didn't it? Don't worry.

I wasn't going to. I'm having way too much fun to stop now. So how about I speed up instead? Okay.

But only if you beg. Beg with your eyes. Beg for it, you landlubber.

Oh, come on. You can do better than that. Let me see the overwhelming desperation in your eyes.

Much better. Okay, I'll speed up. My, my, Captain.

You're making such naughty, desperate sounds. And your eyes have gone completely blank. You look like you can't even think.

That's fine. I can do the thinking for you. And right now, I'm thinking that I want to see you come soon.

Mm-hmm. I want you to put the salty in salty sea dog. I want to see your semen.

Are you getting close, Captain? Okay. Just let me position you so you can squirt it all over me.

There we go. All right, Captain. It's time.

Do it, Captain. Release on the Kraken. Well, ahoy there.

That was one hell of an orgasm, Captain. You got it all over the floor, too. Hang on, I'll put you down.

Oh, you're shaking. Don't worry, Captain. Some food and some rum will fix you right up.

What? Why is the rum gone? You are, without a doubt, the worst pirate I've ever heard of.

Maybe I should take charge of your ship and have you keel hauled or something. I'm kidding. Well, you're stewing in a pool of your own cum, and I've had my fun, so I'm going to take off.

It's cool if I just slip out through this window, right? Oh, and by the way, if you ever want to do this again, all you have to do is cast your fishing net out. If I'm around, I'll make sure to get captured.

Arr, I had lots of fun, Captain. Don't be a stranger, you scallywag.