🍂 🥰 A Couple of Do-Gooders 🥰 🍂 (F4M) (Girlfriend) (Trash Picking Date) (Let’s Clean Up Our Park) (Handholding)

Transcript

Honey, it's a surprise… You remember surprises, right? Those things where people don't tell you when they go boo! Mm, hush, you love them.

Why don't you trust me? Come on, where's your sense of adventure? Excuse me, you are very adventurous.

You are the man who had pineapple on his pizza. You are a rogue, a daredevil, and you can trust me to arrange our date night. Come on, don't you have any faith in me? Don't answer that.

Just meet me, okay? At the park, by our tree. Mm-hmm.

I'll be the sexy lady in the raincoat. I'll see you soon. Love you.

No! Come here, my love face. Hello, sailor.

Hmm, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor, Bach. No. This is your surprise.

What? You said you wanted a date night. Mimi! This is a date, we're just also helping the environment.

Oh, come on, we need to do more spontaneous things, keep the romance going. Picking up trash is hella sexy. Don't you deny this.

Oh, come on, it'll be our good date for the day, come on. Please. I know, but we won't do it for too long, just a little, little, itty-bitty good date.

Itty-bitty good date. But you're so cute when you're humanitarian. Who's my little altruist? Who is he? Who is he? But you are, you are a do-gooder, you are the do-iest gooder that ever do-ed.

Yes, of course that made sense, don't, don't do that. I always make sense, I am sensible. You are a very sexy altruist.

The sexiest one I know. I do believe he's coming in. Why not? Don't you want our park to look beautiful? Blasphemy, you do.

Yes, you do, grumpy guts. This is our park. That tree is where we had our first picnic, that bench is where I kissed you, that is where you groped me, and I.

.. I'll keep it peachy. The point is, we have memories here, it's beautiful, please.

Please. Oh, please. Puss, puss.

Cuz I'm annoying and insistent, I love you. Please be my sexy trash collector, please, please. So sexy, unbelievably sexy, just, huh.

Eskimo kisses to the max. I really knew kisses would be less offensive. Yeah, anyway, kisses, hugs, appreciation, let's go.

It's the spirit, you love it. Come on. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

I know you want to, secretly. Yes, you do. Gosh, you're just a heckin' good little being, come on.

Wow, that is a shame, cuz I brought muffins for heckin' good boys. Heckin' good boys that want to clean up their neighborhood, do a good deed, make their neurotic girlfriend happy. Looking, looking, there's a good boy.

Hmm. I love you. You will be rewarded with muffins, let's go.

I got his gloves, I got his sticks, I got his bags, I got some chipperness. Let's rock and roll. Come on, Mr.

Grumpy. The sooner we do it, the sooner it's over. Much like our sex life.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I really like having sex with you. Just like I really like picking up trash with you, come on.

Hey ho, hey ho, bye bye trash you go. Why, why, Monster Energy, why are you everywhere? Into the trash you go.

Snickers, oh, a condom. That is gross. This is why we wear gloves and have the sticks.

Please tell me you don't hate this. Are you sure? I know I can be a little, sometimes I just thought it would be fun.

I promise. Sometimes you just gotta say, hey lady, no, no means no. I don't want to pick no trash, okay? I love you, but I do not love you trash, so in the trash you go.

So, how was your day? Oh, that's good. You love small wins.

Go with small wins. Now the more important question. Did you like your lunch? You're very welcome, cause I don't mind, I like to.

And I also have an incredible amount of energy to burn, so that helps. Hence trash picking. I'm putting it to good use, making lunches, and clearing up the space.

Do you understand lettering? Cause I heckin' don't. Why? Why do you do that? Why, why not put it in your pocket, or just don't throw it? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? It makes me sad.

I don't like it. Leaves are supposed to litter the floor, not condoms. The only exception being a bedroom floor.

Still, you should pick those up. Safety. I hear they're very slippery.

Even more than the notorious banana peel. Nobody wants to be found like that. What happened? I slipped on a condom.

I'm truly undignified. I am. I'm protecting the citizens from those dangerous condoms.

Not the hero they deserve, but the hero they need. Who's the mess one, me or the nuts who goes out with the nuts? Oh, it's the biggest muffin.

It is so big. Mmm, chocolatey and rich and creamy. It'll go perfect with this flask.

Hot tea, mother trucker. Far too much energy, but what are you gonna do? Hmm.

Ah. Candy wrapper. Candy wrapper, chip bag, what are you? We all eat too much sugar because it's addictive as feck.

I'm so good, though. But that's not an excuse to throw it on the floor. Put it in the bin.

Put it in the trash. Hedons. Don't understand.

It's not hard. Even I can do it. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Come here, trash.

You're going in the trash. You are. You are not where you belong.

Into the bag you go. Mm-hmm. I'm rehoming you.

It's okay. You can thank me later. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Candy bars come all over, candy bars come all over. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

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Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. What? What are you smiling for? I wanna see you with your eyes and your mouth.

What? What have I done now? Aww.

You're very cute when you say I'm cute. Mm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. But we still gotta do more trash picking. I'm sorry you're stuck with a professional interferer.

Whether I roll condoms, I will be. Cause that's what a hero does. Mm-hmm.

And this hero needs her hand held. Thank you. Now, we vegetate.

I'm coming to get you. I'm coming to get you. I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.

Oh, hey. You dorky, snarky, bestest boy. Mm.

Thank you. For helping me clean up the park. Mm-hmm.

I know you just finished work and it was probably not what you wanted to do, but you did it cause you're a good one. You are my sexy golden retriever.