5. Seduction & Sexual Self Awareness

Transcript

Welcome to the final educational session on Initiating Sex. I'm Marla Renee Stewart, co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay, Techniques and Strategies for Mind-Blowing Sex. One of the many issues that people come across is their hesitation to initiate sex.

The fear of rejection is real, and prevents a lot of people from embracing their own sexual power and moving forward with their desires. Hopefully, you have been able to learn more about yourself and your lover or lovers, so this is the module that will help you foster your erotic power and put it into action. Currently, you should know your own seduction learning style as well as your lover or lovers.

Now I want you to name your three best qualities, whatever they are. Make sure that you know these are the things that you know work well on others when it comes to being sexual with them or you knowing how to harness your sexual energy through them. If you're not sure yet, that's okay.

Just name what you think they are for now and we'll work through them. When thinking about initiating sex, we need to first initiate the balance in ourselves. In a sense, this is the balance between our softness and our hardness.

So first, I want you to think about what intimacy means to you. Intimacy can be defined as being loving, affectionate, and is often associated with being sexual, even though it doesn't necessarily have to be. In addition, proximity also breeds intimacy.

Again, proximity also breeds intimacy. This could be proximity in distance, but it could also mean proximity when thinking about how much you are in contact with the other person or persons. Because of our current integration with technology, it's easier more than ever to get and stay connected through the internet.

The intimate side could even be your shy side or your cuddly side. You could even reflect on your childhood innocence and your possible need for affection. So how do you feel about your own intimacy? Write it down.

Is it something that you need to cultivate in yourself? To balance off that intimacy, you need to encourage your aggressive or assertive side. What does being aggressive or assertive mean to you? This can be defined as a push, a strike, and you can also think of it as an attack.

And at the same time, that proximity can breed intimacy. When it comes to aggressiveness or assertiveness, proximity can also breed anxiousness, nervousness, and adrenaline. It could also induce trauma reactions such as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

Remember, this is your harder side. Think about being the boss or the leader and in control. So how do you feel about your aggressiveness or your assertiveness? Is this where you need the most help in your sexual journey as it pertains to initiating sex? Now that you understand your intimacy and your assertiveness or aggressiveness, it's now time to tap into another side of you.

It's time to tap into your alter ego. Think about a time where you felt the most sexually powerful and the most in your element. What was happening during that time? Try to embody that moment or if it's a bunch of moments, think about those moments.

If you haven't already, this is a time to create your alter ego or engage in your alter ego. What is your alter ego's name? What is it that they would wear? What kind of accessories and tools would they have? What does your alter ego do that you wouldn't necessarily do? So go ahead, write down all those answers.

Again, what is your alter ego's name? What is it that they would wear? What kind of accessories and tools would they have? And what does your alter ego do that you wouldn't necessarily do? So why would we create an alter ego? Because our alter ego is more confident than we are.

Creating an alter ego helps us to idealize ourselves and we can use this idealization to do some mirror transference and embody our alter egos when we need them. When we do this, it creates a sense of completeness. However, if we let our alter ego take over in our own selves, we may develop low self-esteem.

But engaging in our alter ego has an element of danger that we tend to see as sexy. So the less anxiety we have about it, the better. In order to have less anxiety about it, we have to come up with a seduction plan.

So what are three things you would like to implement into your own sex life? Write those down. Imagine all the things that your alter ego would do in a possible sexual situation and how your alter ego would implement at least one of the things that you want to implement into your sex life.

However, first it's important to know how to implement a sex seed. A sex seed is something that you plant in your lover's mind that alludes to them that you want to have sex with them. This helps for your lover to be emotionally prepared to possibly have sex with you.

Before you implement the sex seed, try to do something that eases their day or eases their daily stress. Make them an offer that you know they would appreciate or ask them what you could help them with if you're not sure. Once you've made their life a little easier, you can actualize a sex seed that caters to their seduction learning style.

So this is the time to think about what you can do, whether they are visual, auditory, or tactile. For example, if your lover is visual, you can send a sexy pic of yourself embodied as your alter ego, or even a picture of whatever accoutrement you would like to implement in your sexual play. If your lover is auditory, you can send them an audio clip with you making sexy sounds like mmm, oh, or talking dirty to them.

If your lover is tactile, you may want to do a gentle booty grab as you pass by them or kiss them with erotic intention right on the nape of their neck. Now when you're coming up with your seduction plan, you want to be as thorough as possible. The more details you have, the better.

Specifics are great, as they can really help to anchor you in your sexual situation. Thinking about the what-ifs or alternative plans are also great to have, you know, those plan Bs that you need, get those down. When you can anticipate a negative experience, the better you are equipped at problem-solving the situation.

Ultimately, this will help with the confidence of your alter ego, who ultimately won't get shut down if rejection would happen to occur. Again, this is going to help the confidence of your alter ego, right, and your alter ego, you know, can accept rejection probably a lot easier than you can. Finally, let's think about creating the tease and embracing your sexual tension, harnessing the balance between your intimacy and your aggression or assertiveness.

Again, we are going to think about the seduction learning styles here. Within your plan, think about what would be appealing for your lover. When it comes to someone being visual, it's important to think about elements of grace and sharp strikes.

It might be looking up at them slowly and quickly turning your head away, or maybe it's using your eyes to look at them from the side to the front with your head angled and then giving them a quick wink. What this does is create constant imagination and some prolonged desire. With an auditory lover, you need to think about your voice.

This needs to have elements of soft and forceful. For example, here's one of my dirty talk phrases. The sentence is, do you love my juicy pussy or nice ass? Tell me that you love it.

When I invoke my voice, I need to create dimensionality in order to keep my lover's attention. So I might say the phrase like this, do you love my juicy pussy? Tell me that you love it.

You can imagine me saying that to a lover and then possibly whispering it in their ear, right? I hope that helps you to get some ideas going in your head. For your kinesthetic or tactile lover, you need to do some elements of pushing and pulling.

That means gently pushing on various points.