2. Seduction & Sexual Self Awareness

Transcript

Welcome back, I'm Marla Renee Stewart, co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Seduction, Seduction and Foreplay, Techniques and Strategies for Mind-Blowing Sex. We all have our own unique styles and sexual assets that help us to attract lovers. We also have a preference for learning styles when it comes to seduction and sexuality.

Research suggests that we learn primarily through three specific senses, sight, sound, and touch. Of course, people can learn through multiple ways, and some ways may be more highlighted than others, considering that some people cannot see, hear, or touch. The first step, taking the Seduction Learning Style Quiz and figuring out what kind of style you have.

This is super important because being aware of yourself and how you are is also a reflection of how you treat others. We tend to assume that people are similar to ourselves, and in some cases, we're right. But it's always helpful to know yourself and get to know others' learning styles as well.

Get your notebook out and a pen, and let's go through this quiz. Number 1. When someone you like sees you, how do they get your attention? A.

Make intense eye contact with you. B. Give you a creative pick-up line.

C. Accidentally bump into you. Number 2.

On your first date, what do you look forward to? Is that A. Seeing how they move, B.

Hearing what they have to say, or C. Touching them? Number 3.

When you are having phone sex, what do you like the most? Is it A. Imagining the situation, B.

Talking about what you'll do to them, C. Masturbating to their voice? Number 4.

During sex, what is it that arouses you the most? Is it A. Seeing the scene in a mirror, B.

Dirty talk and loud moans, or C. All the action taking place? So what you're going to do now is you're going to tally up how many A's, how many B's, and how many C's you have.

So go ahead and do that now. So if you got mostly A's, you are visual. You are a visual learner, and that is a way that you get seduced.

If you had mostly B's, that is auditory, so that is how the way you get seduced. And if you had mostly C's, you are a tactile learner, and that is how you also get seduced. So of course you can have more in one category than the other, so there are certain different aspects that are going to highlight or be highlighted when we're thinking about seduction.

So when thinking about this, did your results surprise you? Do you think they were on point? Maybe you found yourself in more than one category or spread across all three categories.

Did you have any epiphanies while you were going through this quiz? Many times when people take this quiz and they talk with me, they're like, how do you know me so well? But the fact is, we can all tap into this energy and understand each other through this particular sexual theory and practice.

So if you want to take the quiz, or if you can try to understand who your lover or partner is, that is going to be better for you in the long run. So if the person you want to connect with is a visual person, you can connect with them through a variety of ways, including eye contact, making sure that your space is tidy, telling descriptive stories, your fashion and accessories, and your movement. So with eye contact, visual learners, they love it.

They love to see you connecting through the eyes. And this is often number one when it comes to connecting to a visual person. With making sure that your space is tidy, you need to make sure that everything is in its right space.

So that means taking the time to put everything in its place because you don't want your visual person distracted by everything else in the room besides you. So if it's messy or if there's things that are everywhere, make sure that you are putting them in their place. And then with telling descriptive stories, we have to think about visual people in the aspect of they have to visualize things.

So that means when we're telling stories, we need to have details, we need to have adjectives, we need to make sure that the story flows so that they can actually see the story in their head. That is going to help them connect to you. And of course, your fashion and accessories that you have.

So making sure that you are well-dressed or maybe it's a striptease. Different kinds of accessories, different things that help you to stand out are really special to visual people. And then of course, your movement.

So if the room is really, really busy, that means you are standing still or moving slowly. Again, you want to be the opposite of the room. So the room is busy, you want to be slow or standing still so that they can see and distinguish you from someone else.

Or if the room is sitting still, that means you are moving in the room or you're coming in late and you're best dressed or whatever the case may be, but you are that you stand out from the crowd. So how do you know if someone is visual or not without having them take the quiz? Well, there are a couple of clues.

One, you can see if they have on shiny jewelry, colorful hair, or any other visual aesthetics that kind of pop out. The second thing that you can look for is how they look at you. If they look at you up and down from head to toe, almost always they are a visual learner.

Now, if the person you want to connect with is an auditory person, you can connect with them through these ways, feedback and questions, dirty talk, moans, your breath, low, soft, low and deep tones, multisyllable words or different kinds of words, and of course, music. So with auditory people, auditory people love to talk and love to hear themselves talk. So oftentimes they will say, I love a really great conversation.

And if that's you, that's perfectly okay. So they really love conversation, which means they really love to hear themselves speak. So in order to connect with someone who is auditory, that means we need to give them feedback.

What are they saying? How can we give them feedback? We need to give them questions around what they're talking about.

Essentially, this is active listening. This is how you are approaching them, making sure that you are understanding everything that they say. So lots of feedback, lots of questions will help them really feel like you are listening to them and that they are making a difference in what they're saying to you.

Auditory people tend to love some dirty talk. And remember, dirty talk doesn't always have to be dirty, right? It's just a matter of what will arouse you as far as the verbal seduction piece.

Maybe it's a moan, so it's, yes, or maybe it's your breath. So any one of those things can really arouse an auditory learner, and it's a really great way to connect with them and connect to their ears so that they can take in all of your essence. And when you're speaking to them, especially if they're really into dirty talk, that means you're going to go with your low, soft, slow, and deep tones.

So this means that you're taking your time with your words and talking to them just like this. And that can really help you to understand, to take your time with your words so that they can hear everything you have to say and make sure they're paying attention too. So with that said, they love words, which means they love multi-syllable words, words that we just don't use in everyday language.

So different kinds of words. So maybe that means expanding your vocabulary, throwing around a vocab word that they might not know about. This really fascinates auditory people because they're like, ooh, that sounds like a smart word, an intelligent word.

And if they don't know that word, it makes you even sexier. So go ahead, expand that vocabulary and see how you can entice them just with your words. And then last but not least, music.

Auditory people take in music. So create a playlist for them. Think about what kind of music they like, not necessarily the kind of music you like.

So it's super important to make sure that, hey, you like this music, I'm going to play it because I know it makes you feel good. So to know if someone is auditory or not, you can just ask them a simple question. If they give you a long, drawn out answer, most likely they are going to be an auditory learner.

So for instance, if I say, hey, how was your day? Someone who is not auditory would say, I'm fine. Whereas an auditory person might say, oh, I got up on the wrong side of the bed.

And then I went to the bathroom and it was so hot and I couldn't even think. And I turned the shower on and it wouldn't get hot. And I didn't know what to do.

They go into a long, drawn out story. I'm sure you get my drift. So just know that asking them a simple question can be a long answer.

These are also the people that say that they love a good conversation. But like I said, in reality, they just like to hear themselves talk. And that's perfectly OK.

If you have a tactile person that you're after and want to connect with, these are the ways that you can do that. You can put pressure with palms and fingers and other parts of your body. You can do some dancing with them.

You can think about the variety of clothing material. You can use their hands and put them on you. And you can use push-pull movements.

So when thinking about pressure, we want to think about the palms of our hands. We want to think about.