2. Connecting with Your Body

Transcript

Hello, hello. This is Violet, pleasure coach and confidant for your sexual adventures. In this episode, we are going to be talking about the elusive vulva ejaculation known as squirting, also known as female ejaculation.

And I want to make a note here that when I say female, I am referring to folks with vulvas and vaginas, taking into consideration the anatomical function of ejaculation as it is assigned to the female body, of course, differing from gender or gender identity. Now the first thing that I want to address is the depiction of squirting that we currently have available to us. Typically, videos of squirting that we see are focused on performance, depth, length, volume of ejaculation, and they're not focused on the experience that a person is having.

So porn actresses are performers, and I want to emphasize that. They are performing. They are creating a visual with the intent to arouse its viewers, and their purpose is not to focus on how they're feeling internally, but to focus on the experience that their audience is having.

Now because of this, squirting has become sort of a trick or a sport, a mechanical thing, a technique that can be used on people with vulvas to put on a show or to make them do something, but that is not at all what I want it to be in your mind forever. So let's refocus on what squirting can accomplish, an incredible release. In order to do that, we have to understand a few things first.

And before we get into techniques, let's talk a little bit about where squirting started. Evidence of squirting dates back two millennia ago. That is 2,000 years ago.

So female ejaculation was first described in a 4th century Chinese text called Secret Instructions Concerning the Jade Chamber, which provided information with respect to romance, sexual partners, and intercourse. The text refers to two different female fluids, one for vaginal lubrication and one transmitted during orgasm. The one transmitted during orgasm is female ejaculate.

This is one of the many texts that alludes to or mentions female ejaculation through observation or detailed study. This means we have documented history of the female body's orgasmic capabilities dating back nearly 2,000 years ago, and Western society has not been kind to female ejaculation due to a lack of Western scientific evidence that legitimizes it as a function. So what is squirting? Female ejaculation is defined as the expulsion of fluid through the urethra in response to sexual stimulation or orgasm.

I want to emphasize that squirting does not have to happen with an orgasm. There has been some debate around G-spot stimulation ejaculation. So scientists previously thought that there was a localized spot that stimulated ejaculation called the G-spot coined by Dr.

Grafenberg. But now we understand that there is actually an entire erogenous zone inside and around the vagina that stimulates ejaculation. We also know that the fluid that is expelled originates from the skinny's glands.

This glands is the one that fills up with fluid as the erogenous zone is being stimulated and ultimately where the squirt or ejaculatory fluids come from. These skinny's glands are located right below the urethra. So I'm sure I know what your next question might be.

Violet, how do I actually squirt? Okay, so let's talk technique. First and foremost, and I don't want you to brush over this one because it's really important to get this first step down.

Relaxing into your body's release is the most important step for squirting. And a really common hesitation that often inhibits someone's ability to relax is what if it's pee or I'm scared if I'm going to make a mess. That's probably the most common question we get as sex educators.

If this is a worry of yours, grab a towel, put it underneath you or head into the bathroom to explore. Anywhere that you can relax is where you want to explore this. Remember that squirting is a release and in order to fully release, you have to be relaxed in your body and feel uninhibited by your environment or the person that you are with.

If this involves having a conversation with them, changing your environment or doing something to relax before you start the process of trying to squirt, then any of those things will help you move through a more relaxed experience. Start by sinking into your breath or if you're with a partner, remember to ground into your breath when starting to become more aroused. That way, it will bring focus and awareness back to your vulva area.

Next, you are going to want to explore what feels most pleasurable for you. Squirting from external stimulation and internal stimulation are both possible and both legitimate ways to release. Squirting also does not have to be accompanied by an orgasm like I said before.

It can be. Let's talk about the difference between ejaculating based on two types of stimulations. We're going to start with the internal stimulation.

The internal erogenous zone is located about one third of the way into the vagina. If you are lying on your back, then it's towards the belly button. Think about doing a come here motion with your fingers.

You may also be able to feel a texture change inside of the vaginal canal. Some describe it as a spongy texture, others rigid, others just feel a slight indent inside of the body. All of these are indicators that you are near your erogenous zone G-spot area.

So now you're going to want to take a lot of time and I mean a lot of time to stimulate this area. It's going to become aroused with blood and other fluids so you may feel the spongy area inside the vaginal canal will feel like it's expanding or protruding out a little bit more. That's a sign that it's filling up with fluid.

So continue to stimulate that area. Remember, every body is different so the speed and pressure will depend on how your body is feeling. If this is your first time exploring, then take it slow.

When you start to feel that spongy area expanding, you can change up the speed and pressure based on your body. So you can slow down to feel what it feels like to tease yourself or you can maintain pressure or you can speed up to see how much of that stimulation you'll really need to bring your body closer to squirting. You may only need this vaginal stimulation alone, but you can also incorporate clitoral stimulation into this as well.

So we're going to talk about that external stimulation. When you feel the urge to incorporate the clitoral stimulation or the external stimulation, you can use your other hand to rub your clitoris or you can use the palm of your hand that's already inside of you to rub as you massage the inside of your vaginal canal. You can also take a vibrator or a toy or use your partner's hands.

My advice though is to really take the time to massage your vaginal canal before massaging your clitoris. Stimulation of that area will allow you to expand your pleasure threshold, meaning you'll be able to experience more sensations and different kinds of sensations. Warming up the skinny's glands in different ways, and as that area around it fills up with fluid, it'll become ready to be released either during orgasm or continuous stimulation of the clitoris or the G-spot, G-zone.

This level of internal stimulation on your G-zone may result in a vaginal orgasm, which differs in sensation from a clitoral orgasm. So squirting can happen from both of these types of orgasms and other orgasms. It can happen from anal orgasms, blended orgasms, nipple orgasms, any type of orgasm that you are experiencing, ejaculation can happen alongside of those.

So continue to do that come hither motion with fingers while rubbing your clitoris if you want that stimulation as well. And once you've done that build up for a little while, you may notice a change in pressure inside of you or an urge to pee. That is commonly reported when we talk to folks who are trying to squirt.

So my advice here is make sure you pee before you start this process so you know it's not urine that you feel wants to come out. You may also notice that there is an increase in vaginal lubrication at this point. This means you're getting more and more aroused and potentially getting closer to filling up your glands with more fluid.

At this point, lots of folks notice that they have an urge to push this fluid out or to release this fluid because the pressure buildup in your body is becoming a lot. So when you feel that need to release the pressure in your body, do not fight that feeling. Relax your body and go with that flow.

Go with that sensation. Sometimes squirt is involuntary and sometimes it's intentional as a result of pushing out that pressure buildup. So many different sensations can happen at this point.

So this is what I want you to think about when you get to the place of experiencing pressure and increased vaginal lubrication. I want you to think about what it feels like to run or do any sort of exercise and you're coming to your last rep or the last leg of your mile and you're like, I'm so close, I'm just about to finish, I'm just going to get there and I'm going to finish and then I'm going to be done with it. And when you make it there, keep going.

So instead of doing 10 reps, you do 12 reps. Instead of running one mile, you run 1.2 miles. Just push your pleasure threshold just as you would if you were exercising or trying to expand your strength or your endurance.

Allow your body to expand its ability to feel more pleasure, to orgasm longer, to release more fluid, right? Allow your body to go there. You may start to feel your muscles relaxing or you may start to feel like you can't relax because the stimulation is too much for you.

Here you're going to ease up a bit, but you're still going to keep going until you feel that release and pressure. This release is so important to highlight because squirting is an uninhibited release of vulva pleasure or it's an uninhibited release of pressure. Once you start to think about squirting in that way, the fear around how you are perceived or if it's gross or if it's pee or whatever will start to fall away once you embody that this is in the pursuit of more pleasure.

And how can that be wrong in any way? So thank you again for listening. Once again, you can find me everywhere as Turning Violet.