1. Intro to BDSM

Transcript

BDSM. Which one am I? So you're interested to know more about BDSM.

Maybe you have a kinky fantasy that you have never shared with anyone. Or maybe you're intrigued by a sexy fetish image you saw online, but not sure if you would be turned on by the same thing in real life. Perhaps you and your partner have already begun sharing fantasies and are ready to begin exploring but aren't sure where to start.

First, I want to help you figure out what type of a player you are. Are you kinky or have a fetish of some sort? Does it turn you on to give up power and be sexually submissive to someone? Or would you rather take power over your intimate partner? Perhaps you might feel that your sexual life became boring or even predictable and you would like to spice things up in the bedroom.

But where do you begin to experiment, especially if your desires are more, well, interesting? There are many flavors besides vanilla, and once you know all about them, you might realize that you will rather pick a strawberry. Before you start playing, ask yourself, what turns me on? What turns my partner on? What would I like to try out? You might already have some ideas, but it pays off to learn more.

The next minutes will familiarize you with the world of BDSM, including some of the more common activities, the importance of skills and consent for players. What is BDSM and where is it coming from? First time we heard this term in 1991, but the activities are dating much older.

Even in the ancient times, we could hear about the goddesses and their servants and slaves. BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, domination-submission, sadism and masochism, and it is an umbrella category for a huge number of kinks, fetishes and practices. There are so many possibilities of playing.

You're most likely not going to fantasize about everything you come across. And you're definitely not going to want to play everything you come across. Some practices I will mention here will probably make your pulse rise, and some you might have not even realized that people were doing them.

The relationships in BDSM are often characterized by inequality of power and are complementary. Sides must discuss boundaries and give each other consent for certain activities. So what side of the spectrum are you? Do you consider yourself more dominant, submissive or a switch that could play both sides? As the dominant, you would like to be the one to take control over your partner.

In general, you like to initiate sexual play, lead the sexual act and give comments on how you would like to be pleased. Being dominant is fun, but it is also a lot of responsibility and work. You're literally the script writer of the play.

Things are happening on your terms, and your brain is actively planning the next steps of the game. Words that must be said to maintain the character and remain in power. As the dominant, you're leading your submissive on a journey of pleasure and pain.

Your submissive trusts you, and it is in your hands to hurt them only to the point that they agreed on. What if you just want to switch off your mind and let your naked body at the mercy of your dominant partner? Do you like someone else to take the lead, initiate sex and tell you what to do in the bedroom? Does it turn you on to be a little sex pet, disobedient slut or a playtoy that is there for pleasure of their master?

If the answer is yes, then you might be rather submissive. As a submissive, you're giving up your control and letting your dominant do things to you that they desire. Your master or mistress might want to bondage you, restrain your legs and arms, cover your eyes with an eye mask and make you completely helpless.

This play is definitely exciting and also a bit risky, so you'd rather make sure that you choose a dominant you trust and the most importantly discuss all your do's and don'ts with them ahead of the play. Don't forget about a safe word if things become too much to handle. Did you like both scenarios? Do you remember days when you would like to wear a leather or latex outfit and spank someone's ass and on a different day, you would rather lay down and let someone take you on a sexual journey of pleasure and pain?

That's okay, because you might be a switch. Switch is someone who can go both ways, dominant or submissive, depending on the role, partner and a fantasy that is played. It's great to be flexible, isn't it? Pleasure and pain, what do they mean? BDSM can, but doesn't have to include pain.

It is mainly a play of power. One party takes the power and another party gives the power away. Without the submissive, there would be no dominant and vice versa.

It's a psychological game that turns some people on. You might be one of them. So what about sadism and masochism? Sadism is someone who likes to cause psychological and physical pain.

You might have a sadistic streak and like to see someone suffer. In a consensual BDSM play, you might find a partner who likes to be tortured. It's a play and the pain can be real, but it's consensual, meaning that you and your partner agreed on the terms and how you will hurt them.

It can also be a psychological humiliation or pain caused by physical force. For example, dildo, whip, cane or nails. The person who likes to be hurt is called masochist.

But pain doesn't only hurt. You can actually experience pleasure and nice highs from having pain. This link between pleasure and pain is biological.

When you have pain, your central nervous system releases endorphins, proteins which act to block pain. Those proteins work in a similar way to opiates, such as morphine, to induce feelings of euphoria. Further, endorphins bin to opiate the receptors in the brain and prevent the release of chemicals involved in the transmission of pain signals.

So now the pain is gone, but endorphins go further, stimulating the brain's limbic and prefrontal regions, the same areas activated by passionate love affair and music. Fascinating, isn't it? BDSM ACTIVITIES AND HOW TO PLAY THEM Here are some activities that could be considered BDSM.

Bondage, sensory deprivation, cock and balls torture, pegging, orgasm control, tease and denial, caning, spanking, whipping, nipple torture, electrical play, roleplay, edge play, golden showers, hot vax play and many more. Let me describe the most common ones and give you some sexy tips on how to play them with your partner. Bondage Bondage is the most basic and common practice of BDSM and could be done with leather handcuffs, rope or silk.

When it comes to leather or metal handcuffs, there is no science needed. You can use bondage to restrain someone, to make them feel helpless and to be able to control what happens to them. Someone in bondage can be forced to do something sexual or otherwise against their will.

Whether that is submitting to tickling, teasing, penetration by sex, toys such as vibrator or dildo or performing oral sex. Although whatever they are forced to do is negotiated ahead of time, of course. Many men and women enjoy giving up control and letting the dominant person decide what is going to happen next, as long as their boundaries are respected.

Bondage is an easy way to start letting go. Tying someone up is also a natural way to start taking control, if that's your preference. Bondage can be simple, just a silk scarf tied to a bedpost or more complicated.

Japanese shibari, for example, is one of many variations of rope bondage that requires a great deal of skills. Orgasm Control Fantasy This fantasy includes teasing and denial of orgasm or ruined orgasm. Orgasm control is an easy type of BDSM play for beginners as well as for experienced BDSM practitioners.

Aim is for the dominant to tease the submissive by bringing them close to orgasm, but then withholding it until the dominant decides that it's time. Or not. The cycle of tease and denial can go on for a long time, until the submissive is begging for release.

Another way to play this fantasy is that the dominant might force an orgasm by using a powerful vibrator such as magic wand. Because the important element here is the control over when and how submissive is allowed to come, the scenario can unfold in many different ways. The submissive can be restrained, gagged or blindfolded, toys can be used and the dominant can rely on just his or her hands and body to tease and arouse.

Sensory Deprivation Sensory deprivation means depriving someone of one or more of their senses to heighten their pleasure or the intensity of their experience. It might mean putting on a tight leather or PVC hood that prevents someone from seeing or hearing what is going to happen next. Even a blindfold is a rudimentary form of sensory deprivation.

When one or more senses are blocked, the remaining ones will be intensified. Picture someone tied to the bed, blindfolded, while they experiment with different sensations on their arms, neck, breasts or genitals, an ice cube, a feather, your tongue or teeth. Pegging Pegging means performing anal sex with strap-on dildo female to male.

Pegging requires some skills and training to prevent injuries to the perineum or anal tissue. Before you decide to use big toys, use a butt plug or small dildo along with a decent amount of lubricant to stretch the anus. After you have practiced with something small, you can move on to larger toys.

With practice, the dominant or top should be able to stimulate the male P-spot or prostate gland, leading to intense orgasm for some men. It is an equivalent of squirting or G-spot orgasm in females. There are plenty of places where you can find wonderful strap-on belts which can attach dildos of your choice.

Some men find the look of a woman wearing a strap-on incredibly sexy. It is also a tremendous psychological play because a man who would like to be pegged must let go of the control and allow himself to explore his feminine side. Also, I want to make it clear that men who like to be pegged or have their prostate stimulated are not gay.

They just simply enjoy feeling good.